ns Page 1745 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night Belonged To Crazy-Ass Lance Stephenson

Aside from Paul George's second-half explosion and its madcap ending, last night's game between the Heat and Pacers was pretty damn unwatchable. That's what happens when the best player in the universe has to spend most of the game on the bench with the foul trouble and the Pacers decide to do... wh...

He's Just Not That Into You

Norichika Aoki Ends Up In A Heap With The Worst Swing This Season

Why did Royals outfielder Norichika Aoki swing at this offering from Astros pitcher Jarred Cosart? That was bad, Nori....

Dolphins Scout Says He Was Fired For Staying Home To Care For Sick Wife

So, this is not a very good look for the Miami Dolphins, an organization which has pretty much become synonymous with "bad looks" over the course of the last year or so. According to a intent-to-initiate-litigation letter obtained by Fox Sports, a former Dolphins scout plans to sue the team over his...

Charlie Whitehurst Arm-Wrestled A Punter For A Uniform Number, And Lost

Charlie Whitehurst, who signed on to be the Titans backup, has never worn anything but No. 6 in his eight-year career. There was one problem: That's been punter Brett Kern's number since he came to Tennessee in 2009. The usual solution would be for Whitehurst to make Kern an offer for it. They went ...

Rick Reilly Writes A Love Letter To Derek Jeter's Unborn Children

This is how Rick Reilly's latest column, which is about Derek Jeter, begins:...

ESPN's Darren Rovell Now Just Straight-Out Rewriting Press Releases

Everyone gets what posthuman ESPN sports business reporter Darren Rovell is all about by now. He passes on useless trivia, acts like a cock on Twitter, reminds us that the world is a dark, sad, and terrifying place, and serves as a pure conduit for any business looking to pass on a brand message to ...

Heat Fan Grandma Is A Pretty Great Grandma

This grandma is a really big fan of the Miami Heat, and so her grandson decided to record her while she watched Game 4 of the Eastern Conference finals. Based on the video evidence, watching a game with this lady is probably be a lot of fun....

[Sustained Vomiting Noises]

Cardinals fans will occasionally take a break from telling you how classy they are to announce that some outsider has achieved the rarefied level of class necessarily to be a Cardinal. Congratulations, Derek Jeter. If only you had been drafted by St. Louis, perhaps you would have amounted to somethi...

Canadiens Fans Throw Hats Onto Rene Bourque's Parents' Lawn

Rene Bourque's hat trick capped a wild Montreal win last night, and hats rained down on the Bell Centre ice. Around the same time, in Bourque's hometown of Lac La Biche, Alberta, some far-flung Habs fans gave Bourque's parents' lawn the same treatment....

Awful-Sounding Kings Fan Files Police Report Against Corey Crawford

According to TMZ, a 27-year-old Los Angeles man filed a battery report against Blackhawks goalie Corey Crawford, alleging that Crawford squirted him with a water bottle while being pulled late in Monday's Game 4....

Ben Revere Homered!

It finally happened. In his 1,466th career at-bat, his 1,566th plate appearance, the Phillies' Ben Revere hit an honest-to-goodness home run. ...

A Very Confused Stuart Scott Thought Bob Ley Was In Azerbaijan

ESPN2 aired tonight's USA-Azerbaijan friendly from Candlestick Park, but it seems SportsCenter anchor Stuart Scott wasn't paying much attention—because the veteran newsman thought the match happened in Western Asia. ...

“Wheels On The Bus” On YouTube: A Distressed Father’s Guide

So my firstborn son is obsessed with "Wheels on the Bus," and will sing it at the slightest provocation, or with no provocation at all, really. He's three ("a young three," as noted by now multiple polite but clearly frazzled instructors at toddler-activity sessions he's disrupted by, for example, f...

Mic'd Up Patrice Bergeron Is A Must For Hockey Fans

Every hockey player should wear a microphone at all times. These wonderful exchanges—between P.K. Subban and Patrice Bergeron, and between Bergeron and referee Dan O'Halloran—show how your penalty (or no-call) sausage is made....

Where Jürgen Klinsmann Comes From

Before Jürgen Klinsmann snubbed Landon Donovan, before he coached Bayern Munich or the U.S. and German national teams, before he won the UEFA Cup as a player with Internazionale and again with Bayern, before winning the World Cup and captaining the German team to the European Championship, he lived ...

Baseball Fans Want Their Free Pizza, Dammit

Josh Beckett's no-hitter was a story of redemption—the redemption, by you, of a coupon code in exchange for a medium two-topping pizza from Dominos. Americans love free pizza, but there's a necessary corollary: they hate not having free pizza....

Braves President: Stadium Deal Had To Be Done In Secret

Atlanta Braves president John Schuerholz spoke to the Atlanta Press Club last week, and said some rich guy shit that was so painfully lacking in self-awareness that it's hard to imagine him saying it without adjusting his monocle....

Hero White Sox Fan Snags Flying Bat, Saves Baby

Eileen Depesa thought quickly—and acted quicker, with a one-handed snag of Tyler Flowers's runaway bat that seemed to be heading right for the infant sitting directly behind her. The gentleman next to her, ducking for cover? He did not acquit himself nearly so well....

Soccer Fans Celebrate Championship That Turns Out To Be Just A Rumor

Well, this is embarrassing. Thousands of fans flooded the streets of Barranquilla, Colombia, last night, dancing, blowing horns, and just generally partying to celebrate what they thought was the news that their beloved Junior F.C. won a championship. They are waking up this morning to sheepishly le...