ns Page 2078 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Raining Dongs, Hallelujah: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Welcome back to the best in unintentional dongs. We have quite the assortment this week so do come inside. As always, be sure to send in any would-be penises to the tips department. Our lead unintentional dong today comes from reader Nicholas who snapped this shot of a dong raindrop-inspired chande...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Stop Global Warming
This is a feature wherein we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

When Does Major League Baseball Season Begin?
When is Opening Day? Did you know it already happened? This week, the Mariners and Athletics split a two-game series in the Tokyo Dome. Kids in Oakland and Seattle rushed home from school to watch them from 2 to 5 a.m....

ESPN Headline Writer Unintentionally Encapsulates Grant Hill's Career
To Hill, they're more vital than air and water. [ESPN.com, h/t Jimmy]...

Joe Posnanski Is Leaving <em>Sports Illustrated</em> For Some Sort Of New <em>USA Today</em> Venture
Posnanski confirmed his departure after approximately three years at SI in a phone conversation with The Big Lead. He's joining some sort of joint venture between USA Today and MLB Advanced Media, which became a thing just last month....

Diego Maradona Got Into A Fight With U.A.E.-League Fans, Allegedly Over His Girlfriend
Argentine soccer legend Diego Maradona has been off the international radar somewhat since accepting the manager position of Al Wasl FC in the U.A.E. football league last year. Al Wasl hasn't done a whole lot under his leadership, either—they currently sit in sixth place in the 12-team league....

Real Madrid's Iker Casillas Wiped His Boogers On A Child's Face
Real Madrid's Champions League first leg against APOEL was three days ago, but video is only now emerging of the most exciting thing to happen in that mismatch: Real keeper Iker Casillas wiping his nose, then wiping his hand on the face of one of those kids who lead the players onto the pitch. Nev...

Karen Sypher Wrote A Book About All The Times She Says Rick Pitino Raped Her
Karen Sypher's new book, Guilty Until Proven Innocent: "The Karen Sypher Story," might be the most perfectly planned bestseller: it was released this month, just in time for a deep run for Louisville, and it's got a ton of rape, just like The Kite Runner. ...

The "Bohemian Rhapsody" Dude Is An Unemployed Home Brewer Who Was Picked Up For DUI
The Smoking Gun has discovered the identity of that guy who fantastically belted out every word of "Bohemian Rhapsody" in the back of a cop car after his arrest. His name is Robert Wilkinson, he's 29, he's unemployed, he's a home brewer, and his unforgettable performance in the back of a Royal Canad...

High School Girl Charged With Assault After Brutal Soccer Beatdown
Throw out the formalities when Lewisville and Chester get together, that's what I always say. The South Carolina schools met for a women's soccer match Monday evening, and it ended with the police being called. That New Mexico-BYU game has nothing on this one....

Sidney Crosby Was Knocked Out Of Tonight's Game By A Puck To The Face
Poor Sid Crosby just can't catch a break. He can, however, catch a puck in the nose, as happened tonight at Nassau during the second period of the Penguins' clash with the Islanders. Crosby—just a few weeks returned from yet another lengthy tenure off the ice due to concussion symptoms—actually ma...

Jackie Robinson Is Back From The Dead And Getting His Nails Done In Beverly Hills
That's according to video-paparazzi-whores Hollywood TV, which stalked Frank Robinson without really knowing who he is. (He's actually a completely different Hall of Fame black guy.) [Vin Scully Is My Homeboy]...

Why The Deal To Keep The Kings In Sacramento May Be Collapsing
"Elation now" crowed the Sacramento Bee when the Maloof Brothers, David Stern, and Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson emerged from lockdown negotations with a plan to build a new arena and keep the Kings from moving to Anaheim. The plan was a good one, as far as publically funded stadiums go: the team a...

High School Makes Fancy Video Asking Jeremy Lin To Speak At Graduation, Lin Says No Thanks
One of the main duties of New York's Stuyvesant High School's senior class president is to line up the commencement speaker. So, with the help of students and faculty, he put together this video begging Jeremy Lin to be that speaker. (Warning: there's rapping. Of course there's rapping.)...

Police Raid Home Of Man Who Claims He Was Carl Pavano's Lover
A high school classmate of Twins pitcher Carl Pavano is under investigation for allegedly demanding money from Pavano's family in exchange for not going public with his story—that he and Pavano supposedly had a three-year "emotional and physical" relationship two decades ago. Christian Bedard, of So...

Jerry Sandusky's Trial Has Been Postponed Until June 5
It was supposed to begin May 14, but Judge John M. Cleland has pushed the start of the trial back because of scheduling conflicts. Cleland's decision had nothing to do with that 95-page motion to dismiss the charges filed last week by Sandusky's attorney, Lawyerin' Joe Amendola....

Glory Days: I Missed My Chance To Win The Conference Title Because Our Third-Base Coach Got Greedy
An occasional series featuring our readers' tales of momentary sports glory. If you've got a video of your own brush with athletic greatness, send it to [email protected], subject: Glory Days....

Impartial Observer Donovan McNabb Worries That Mike Shanahan Will Ruin Robert Griffin III
RG3? Decent QB. Everyone thinks he'll be great. The Redskins got some people for him to throw to, too....

<em>Slap Shot</em>: The Only Honest Sports Movie
From the very first scene of Slap Shot, the classic hockey film makes its stance clear: The way everybody talks about sports is bullshit. Denis Lemieux, the befuddled language-challenged Charlestown Chiefs goalie, is on television talking to broadcaster Jim Carr, who is trying to get fans to bring t...

Trent Richardson Smash!
Pro days are serious business. With fewer players taking part in the Combine, whether due to injury or the founded fear that performing can only hurt their draft stock, the highly controlled pro day has become the showcase of choice for the top prospects. This is bad news for the NFL Network, and ...