ns Page 2200 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit makes like an ant under a very patient child's magnifying glass on a 110-degree day with a cloudless sky....
It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before Charlie Sheen Infiltrated The Florida Marlins
Someday, athletes are going to stop posing with Charlie Sheen, or at least stop hash-tagging their Sheen shots with references to #tigerblood. Today is not that day. So, thanks for that Logan Morrison....
This Lady's Likes Include Jeff Gordon And Profanity; Her Dislikes Are Jimmie Johnson, Talladega, Bras
Last Sunday at Talladega featured the closest race in NASCAR history in the form of a photo finish. Exciting, yes sir. But as this fine American girl also proves, Jimmie Johnson's two-thousandths-of-a-second victory was infuriating for some....
Man Dry Humps Cleveland Indians Mascot
The summary of dude's video explains, "He's not wearing any pants. It just seemed right." Dude. Epic move, brah....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit contracts comes down with a debilitating case of necrotizing fasciitis without access doctors and/or antibiotics....
Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall's Wife Allegedly Stabs Him, But He Claims He Fell Onto A Broken Glass Vase
As referenced earlier, Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall is in an intensive care unit, where he's recovering from a stab wound to the stomach. Per the Miami Herald, his blushing new bride Michi Nogami-Marshall was arrested last night on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon in a domestic di...
Stop Your Judgmental Infield Chatter While I Handle The Pill, Softball Pitcher Pleads
Here's another overwrought email sent to a company softball team wherein one rookie pitcher had himself a tough outing. For some reason this young fireballer also ended up in a dugout scrap with one of his teammates who started heckling about his performance. Then, of course, he felt compelled to wr...
The Brief Local Nightmare Of A City Whose Mayor Is Kevin Johnson Is Over For Now
Emma, your esteemed video editor, remarked earlier today, as the Deadspin team was on its way back from the Glenn Ligon exhibition at the Whitney, that we just had seen a strange relic....
Here, Listen To All 30 NHL Teams' Goal Horns
Victoria Johnson at The Awl decided to rank all 30 NHL teams' goal horns in order. The Thrashers come in first. OVERALL, WE'RE RICHER FOR THE EXPERIENCE! MORESO ONCE THIS RINGING STOPS!...
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit leaves Brown because of incessant teasing....
So It's Come To This: Mets Fans Wearing Paper Bags
Things are coming to some kind of head in Flushing. Wednesday, fans begin to show up with brown paper bags over their heads, probably the most evocative visual for this team since that Post cover of sad Mr. Met. Even the media started tuning the losses out....
Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...
This Is Not Andrew Ference Giving Habs Fans The Finger
Your morning roundup for April 22, the day America went to its room and listened to Smiths records....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit somehow wakes Dante up from his eternal slumber and creates a 10th circle of Hell solely for dumbass libel suits of this nature to share ...
The Time The KKK Politely Asked For A "Klan Day" At The Reds' Ballpark
These four letters procured by Deadspin's house MLB archivist, Pete Nash, show that the Ku Klux Klan wrote polite letters and were extremely generous about their flower boquets. At least that was the case in 1924. ...
This Russell Westbrook Play Is Everything That's Great About The Thunder
One fundamental tenet of basketball is that the best way to break a press is to not let the ball hit the floor. Another fundamental tenet is that, when you have a point guard like Russell Westbrook, you get the hell out of the way....
Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted
Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma...
What Real Salt Lake's Draw Last Night Says About American Soccer
Real Salt Lake squeaked out a crucial draw last night on a Monterrey pitch lined with football hash marks. (Don't forget that the Borregos Salvages or "Wild Rams" play here, too.) Argentine Javier Morales evened the score at 2-2 for the American side with an 89th-minute goal, giving RSL a fair cha...
Here Are Both Of Last Night's 2OT Cockpunches
Playoff hockey overtime might be the single greatest thing in the sports world — assuming your team isn't involved. Then it's a war of nail-biting, heart-stopping attrition, destined to end in glory and highlight compilations for one side, and wondering why you even bothered staying up late for th...
The Copa Del Rey Trophy Ended Up Lodged Under A Bus Bumper Last Night
As we alluded to earlier, Real Madrid's Sergio Ramos dropped the team's fresh Copa del Rey trophy off the top of a promenading bus in Madrid last night. Just hours after the team earned the title for the first time in 18 years (thanks to Cristiano Ronaldo's header against Barcelona), Ramos let go....