ns Page 2288 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
End Of The Line For The MSU Thong Thief
The Michigan State student who was arrested after stealing 79 pairs of women's panties denied that he has a sex addiction. It's clearly just a comfort thing, and makes him feel pretty. [AP]...
Bill Houston Has A Wildly Original Insult For Bloggers
Surprise! Some people took issue with Houston's pissy little rant earlier this week. To them (and us), Houston says: "F.U. And say hello to your friends in the basement." [UPDATE: He's deleted the entire column.]...
Jerry Jones Clarifies His "Social Moment," Explains That Bill Parcells Is, In Fact, Worth A Shit
Jerry Jones took the opportunity at a diabetes fundraiser yesterday to explain away his sodden musings on Bill Parcells, and somehow he came away sounding a lot sillier than he did last week during cocktail hour at Ocean Prime....
Last Night's Winner: Not This Guy
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Unlike this Phillies fan, who on Wednesday at Citizens Bank Park allegedly jammed his fingers down his throat and vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father....
Spandex-Wearing Men Humiliate Defenseman, Selves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Where Are All The Fans? Watching Soccer, Actually
We're barely a week into the season, and already teams are freaking right the fuck out about empty seats. And the numbers sure have been embarrassing....
<i>Chicago Tribune</i> Writer Sits On Fighting Bulls Scoop, <i>Sun-Times</i> Has No Problem With That
TNT's Craig Sager reported that Chicago Tribune writer K.C. Johnson knew about the John Paxson-Vinny Del Negro dustup weeks ago, but kept quiet "out of respect" for the coach. Obviously, this makes Craig Sager an unprincipled hack....
How Keith Hernandez Deals With Younger Women: "Sit And Stare"
Last night's Mets broadcast returned from break just in time to catch the punchline to 'ol Keith's story about a young lady. "I just had to sit down across from her, for around two minutes, and just stare at her."...
Scott Stapp Ruins Baseball
Here's Stapp, known to you as lead singer for the band that made you hate both music and God, howling a song called "Marlins Will Soar." Sample lyric: "Let's play ball, it's gameday. We want strikeouts, base hits, double plays." [Stapp's Blog]...
Reporter-Turned-Blogger Blasts Blogger-Turned-Reporter
This is William Houston, former Toronto Globe and Mail columnist. He was relevant, oh, around the last time the Maple Leafs were. He has some absurd things to say about the new Leafs beat writer....
David Brooks Provides Us With Yet Another Reason To Hate Duke (And David Brooks)
I'm sorry, somehow we missed this bit of intellection from the Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, David Brooks: "How do you construct a rich versus poor narrative when the rich are more industrious?" he mused last week ... about Butler-Duke....
Who Wants To See Jordan Shipley Stick His Hands In A Mutilated Deer Carcass?
Yeah, it's gross, but the Texas receiver likes his hunting. Click and be horrified to learn where your dinner came from. (Not safe for the queasy.) [More photos @ Frathouse Sports]...
Onion Sports Network Coming To Comedy Central
Comedy Central has ordered 10 episodes, which will air next year. It is unclear whether the series, referred to as "scripted," will be "The Daily Show, but, you know, for sports" or more of this with higher production values. [Hollywood Reporter]...
Plane Owner Claims FAA Shake Down Over Masters "Bootyism" Banner
The owner of the aerial sign company that flew anti-Tiger Woods banners over The Masters says the FAA silenced him with a "bogus" safety inspection. If planes existed when the First Amendment was written, this would totally be in there....
Ehhhh...Fuck Off, Dale Hansen
"That story we had earlier tonight about Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, if that's what it is (and our news director thinks it is), is yet another example of the decline of journalism as we once knew it." [WFAA]...
A Happy Ending For Hideki Matsui
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Another Jayhawk Goes Pro — This One, Without Any College Experience
A Kansas law school student, not so confident about his job prospects, declares for the NBA Draft, thinking his chances will be better there. Well, they'll be better than Wayne Simien's, anyway. [Kansas Law Free Press]...
Video Catches Cops Brutally Beating Maryland Student After Duke Game
After a Maryland student was seriously injured during the melee that followed the Terps big win over Duke last month, cops claimed he had attacked mounted policemen and was kicked by their horses. This videotape says they're dirty liars....
Slurring Jerry Jones Bad-Mouths Bill Parcells, Tim Tebow
A source sends along this video of a seemingly inebriated Jerry Jones waxing off about Tim Tebow ("he'd never get on the field"), Bill Parcells ("not worth a shit"), and how he got his stadium. Read the rough transcript after the jump....
Phil Mickelson: Your New, Women-Friendly, Morally Pristine Sportswriter Unicorn
Once, not so long ago, a famous golfer was unfaithful to the public image that sportswriters had helped construct for him, and the sportswriters were sad. But then along came Phil Mickelson, and the sportswriters turned him into a Lifetime movie....