ns Page 2289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is Why You Don't Bring Wayward Dogs Into Minor League Ballparks
Last week, the Northwest Arkansas Naturals held an "Iams Adopt-a-Pet" promotion night and one excited pooch took that opportunity to crap all over the Royals Double-A affiliate. [YouTube]...

Hits This Year? Jay Bruce Can Count 'Em On Two Middle Fingers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Spoiler’s Very Tiny Footballer List
If you think that height equates to success, then you are very wrong indeed. Look at Tom Cruise — he's as small as a pigeon. Or Al Pacino — barely bigger than a packet of Embassy Filters (probably the dinkiest cigarette on the market)....

Confirmed: Terrence Austin May Or May Not Be An NFL Draft Prospect
I bet I know what you're thinking right now. What NFL team will draft UCLA's 2nd all-time yardage leader, Terrence Austin? I was right, wasn't I? Thanks to this bizarre, sort-of-informative press release I cannot now give you the answer!...

People At Marlins Games Still Punching Each Other In The Vicinity Of Video Cameras
While lacking the sweep and drama of last year's brawl, this Paul Greengrass-ian fight from Saturday's Dodgers-Marlins game had the virtue of being sparked by inebriated legume tossers. Topic: Hasn't the use of Steam's classic jam become stale? H/T David....

The Rangers Are Oh So Alone....
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NY/Cleveland Media Feud Hits A New Low
Reporters in New York and Cleveland have gone back and forth on LeBron's future for the past couple of years. It's been good-natured until today, when a Daily News scribe took personal shots at his Plain Dealer counterpart. Claws out....

Impatience To Watch Cavs Turns Deadly
A dispute over a handicapped spot led to a Cleveland man shooting and killing a parking lot attendant before Friday's Cavs game. Put the gun away, people. It's not worth it; they were resting LeBron anyway. [Plain Dealer]...

Implosion Destructo-Porn: Texas Stadium Edition
Preceded by fireworks (and onlookers paying an admission fee), the 39-year-old Texas Stadium was reduced to rubble this morning. Jerry Jones is a secular Shiva: destroying, in order to re-create....

Here's What Three Shorthanded Goals On The Same Penalty Look Like
It's one thing to read that the Bruins scored three SHG in 64 seconds yesterday; it's another to actually see it. Hurricanes, that power play was bad and you should feel bad....

She's Just Not That Into You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

You Should Be Watching Hockey This Weekend, Seriously
Remember when everyone was so into hockey that time? Ha! But there's plenty to love: the NCAA championship, an NHL playoff berth battle, and oh yeah, some Slovenian hockey players who won their league title then beat up their coach!...

Santonio Holmes Probably Going To Sit A Few Out
Santonio Holmes is facing a suspension for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy. As the exact reason for the suspension is not yet known, wildly unfounded speculation is welcome below. [PFT]...

Y.E. Yang Or Last Night's Chinese Food Delivery Boy? "Venerated" Golf Writer Isn't Sure
Elder statesman golf writer Dan Jenkins, live on Twitter: "Y.E. Yang is only three shots off the lead. I think we got takeout from him last night." Um, I hope he tipped well?! A roundup of early Twittereplies:...

Drew Brees Plays Dress-Up With the US Marine Corps
Drew Brees visited Marines in Djibouti on a recent USO tour and got to play with their toys. He's a sharpshooter, etc. [New Orleans Times-Picayune]...

John Paul Stevens Says Babe Ruth Called His Shot
How does he know? He saw it in person. Dude's old as dirt, and he's still never seen the Cubbies win it all....

Penn State Kicker Drinks Like A Sorority Girl
Anthony Fera, PSU's sophomore kicker, was cited for underage drinking. His beverage of choice? Cruzan Mango Rum. Easy there, tiger. [Post-Gazette]...

Last Night's Winner: Golf Pundits
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the fellows who talk, write, and tweet about golf, and who yesterday got plenty to talk, write, and tweet about. Old people! Flowering shrubs! Asians! Redemption!...

Mark Sanchez Is Poised ... To Be A Whiffenpoof
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Loneliness, Thy Name Is Pirates Fandom
Reader Chris sends along this picture of The Omega Man of Pirates fans. Why stay in the second row? Does PNC Park employ totalitarian ushers? Is he afraid of looking the fool should a foul ball approach? Fascinating to ponder....