nut Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Notre Dame coach Mike Brey furiously swiping right to find new opponent to put at risk
You have to assume that Mike Brey at least made a few phone calls, sent a few texts, something, anything, before he decided to tweet in desperate search for someone to play basketball against Notre Dame next weekend....
Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest: Your Guide to the Most Important Sporting Event of July 4
I am pleased to inform you that the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog eating contest has not been canceled. The freakshow will go on as scheduled on July 4, as usual. It is one of the few live American sporting events currently slated to play on the nation’s birthday....
MLB Would Be Making Texas-sized Screw Up With Latest Plan To Return
A little more than a month into life in the vortex of coronavirus, we all have some new routines. For some of us, it’s putting on a mask to go to the store. For others, it’s an extra dog walk, just to get a few more minutes of fresh air in the day....
Down A Hole: The Missing Scenes Of <i>Donald J. Trump's Fabulous World Of Golf</i>
There are currently two cable news networks devoted to celebrating and defending Donald Trump. Both are widely watched by the most distraught elderly people in the United States, including the president himself, and Trump has made a point of involving various personalities from that network—haunted ...
This Guy Truly Has No Idea What He's Talking About
It is a problem for President Donald Trump that it’s often impossible to tell what the hell he’s talking about. This is not one of those signature Trump defects that can readily be spun into a secret strength or as a subtle bit of advanced dealcraft that only experts and initiates can appreciate. H...
Donald Trump: We Love Bill Belichick, Don't We, And Also Curing AIDS?
There are two versions of President Donald Trump that appear in public. They both inhabit the same body—the same Youppi-shaped torso pitched forward at the same implausible angles, same ghost-pale eyelids fluttering alarmingly, same resplendent candyfloss Kangol of hair stuck on top of it like a wei...
Donald Trump Is Not Going To Let This Hurricane Thing Go
It can be difficult to remember given that he routinely appears on television with toilet paper on the soles of both his shoes and at least one of his hands stuck in a big jug of peanut butter, but Donald Trump’s opening position in all things is that he has never been wrong. He has been wronged, an...
Small-Town America Features, Ranked
Today, we’re talking about Steve Kerr, pillow talk, neglected foodstuffs, and more....
Welcome To The Jason La Canfora USMNT U-20 Minute
The Jason La Canfora Orioles Minute was an irregularly recurring feature in which we checked in with the NFL reporter’s thoughts on the O’s. Then we stopped, mostly because he did. Now he tweets about soccer, so welcome to the Jason La Canfora USMNT U-20 Minute....
Donald Trump Is Never More Donald Trump Than When He's Cheating At Golf
“There are so many ways he just throws up all over golf,” Rick Reilly told The Ringer’s Bryan Curtis for a story that was sort of about Reilly’s active retirement and also about Reilly’s new book on President Donald Trump’s life of crime on the golf course. That book is called Commander In Cheat, an...
Scummy Sports Media Company Buys The Big Lead
The Big Lead, a sports website founded and run by Jason McIntyre of Fox Sports, may not be a particularly good or smart or relevant website, but one thing that it did have going for it was that it didn’t run on exploited labor like FanSided or SB Nation (Vox Media is facing two federal collective ac...
<em></em>Donald Trump Awards Donald Trump Trump's 20th Trump Golf Club Championship
According to people whose lives may well have depended upon it, the late North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il had an excellent golf game. One story told of Kim’s golf prowess crossed the demilitarized zone and become something of a minor meme: that Kim, while playing the first round of golf of his life...
Normal Man Donald Trump Hilariously Fucks Up Army-Navy Coin Toss
There are many compelling reasons why a reasonable person might not want to be President of the United States. The hours and stress and travel are crushing, because the broader responsibility of the job is so crushing. What a president can or cannot actually do to alter the broader course of things...
James Worthy Played Bass And The Minutemen's Mike Watt Has The Story To Prove It<em></em>
“Have you always been a basketball fan?” This is me, asking Mike Watt, one of my heroes, a pretty basic question. It is, if we’re being honest, a feeble softball, lobbed with all the force of an Andy Borowitz gag. This happened around noon, an hour earlier than we were supposed to begin our two-man ...
Chris Simms Recalls The Time Vince Wilfork Busted Up His Genitals Real Good
Former NFL quarterback Chris Simms, who famously got his spleen exploded during a game, went on Mike Florio’s radio show today and shared the story of a different time in which he was grievously and spectacular injured by a big hit....
Prep School Coach Doesn't Regret Saying "I'm Gonna Fuck You In Your Ass" To Player He Called "Retarded"
An audio recording began making its way around the internet yesterday, which purported to be a conversation between Mike Woodbury, who runs a private school called Nation Christian Academy in Florida, and a former basketball player at the school named Marvens Petion....
Game 163 Is One More Chance For A Catcher To Take One To The Dick And Balls
The first tiebreaker baseball game of the day has been highly entertaining, with the Brewers and Cubs locked in a pitchers’ duel all afternoon. But we all know an extra game is just a chance for one of the best baseball plays: A catcher getting hit in the dick and balls....
How Celebrity Nutritionist Alan Aragon Used His Status To Prey On Young Women
This May, Carolina Belmares traveled to Kansas City to attend the 2018 Fitness Summit, an annual conference that was co-headlined by nutritionist and author Alan Aragon. Belmares says she was looking forward to the event as a way to build relationships with other people in the industry, noting the “...
Toward A Working Theory Of What The Fuck Donald Trump Is Even Talking About
The Mendocino Complex Wildfire is the largest fire in California’s history. It has burned more than 300,000 acres in Northern California to date and is one of 19 wildfires currently active in the state. The fire was big enough that, on Monday, President Donald Trump saw fit to briefly depart from hi...
Muay Thai Fighter Lands The Face-Kick Knockout Of A Lifetime
Hopefully you had Chalawan Por Onnut beating Rambong Leesorkanka in Thursday night’s Muay Thai matchup at the Rajadamnern Stadium, because poor Rambong suffered perhaps the most devastating knockout in combat sports this year. After landing a flurry of body shots and an elbow to the head, Chalawan u...