nut Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bofa Deez Nuts Claims Maiden Victory
In a great moment for the planet Earth, a horse named Bofa Deez Nuts claimed its first victory tonight at Remington Park in Oklahoma City....
The Double Nutshot Match Ending, As Called By WWE Announcers In 9 Languages
Last night, A.J. Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura wrestled in a singles match for the WWE championship for the third time in less than a month. They are two of the best wrestlers in WWE and their match work over the last few years puts them among the best wrestlers in the world....
Yadier Molina Undergoes Surgery After Taking Fastball To The Dick And Balls
On the list of worst-case scenarios for baseball catchers, this sequence has got to rank somewhere near the top: getting nailed in the junk by a deflected 102-mph fastball; requiring surgery for anything having to do with getting nailed in the junk by a deflected 102-mph fastball. But that appears t...
Yadier Molina's Day Gets Much Worse, Very Quickly
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The Wizards Of Aughts: The Post-Millennium Washington Wizards And The Bloggers Who Immortalized Them
The late-model Washington Wizards are broadly competent, secretly mediocre, spotty, and more boring than they are not. They could be nutshelled as an equal and opposite reaction to their counterparts of a decade ago. Those Wiz teams, which weren’t better but sure were stranger, boasted a bigger coll...
Here's The Story Behind The Oafish Pro-Trump Ad That Ran During The NHL Playoffs Last Night
Virtually any day of the year, there is no real reason why you or anyone else should be watching CNBC. If you are someone who follows or cares about financial news, you really probably shouldn’t be watching television to keep up with it. If you are someone who likes watching a bunch of gray-faced ol...
President Of The United States, Weirdly: "Roll Tide"
It’s hard to believe, but it’s true—Donald Trump has only been President of the United States for 13 years. The time has gone by so quickly, one day screaming incoherently into the next over and over and faster and faster, and yet it has also somehow been the same endless shitty/terrifying Tuesday f...
Windswept Honey Bun Boards Presidential Aircraft
President Donald Trump’s workday on Thursday included two actual things. That day officially began at 11 a.m., per his public schedule, when Trump received his daily intelligence briefing. There’s no telling how long this takes, as Trump famously likes his briefings short and colorful and chart-base...
Is Donald Trump Really "The Michael Jordan Of Political Nicknames?"
Chris Cillizza’s job isn’t as easy as it seems, although it also isn’t nearly difficult enough to justify the salary he receives for doing it. What that job is even supposed to be is kind of a moving target, to be honest, but much of what Cillizza does in his current position as a political reporter...
Have A Better Friday Than This Guy
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Where Is Donald Trump Even Getting This Shit?
There is the version of Donald Trump that everyone gets served, and it is an extremely luxurious experience—a thick and luridly salty braise of all-beef bombast served smothered in a chunky and flavorless dressing that looks like ranch but tastes like vinegar and forgetfulness. It is fatty and extre...
The First Four-Minute Mile, In One Pain-Wracked Photo
Sir Roger Bannister died over the weekend at the age of 88 and, as to be expected, the glowing obituaries focused on his epochal mile of May 6, 1954, when he shattered the four-minute barrier on Oxford University’s Iffley Road track....
The Deadspin Eagles Idiot Visited The Mall Of America
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — When it opened in 1992, the Mall of America was so big the owners offered rentable cell phones so shoppers could contact each other throughout the mall. It is now the second-largest mall in the country in terms of gross leasable space, behind the King of Prussia Mall in suburban...
Have A Better Day Than This Guy
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Ovoid Pastry Creature Boards Airplane
Donald Trump, president of the United States, boards Air Force One en route to the World Economic Forum in Switzerland, where he plans to tell leaders from around the world a rambling and unconvincing story involving former Night Court star Markie Post....
What Weird New Behavior Will Donald Trump Display At The National Championship Game?<em></em>
A year and change into his first term in office, it’s still honestly kind of hard to tell why Donald Trump ran for president. At this point, we know enough about him to assume both 1) that it had nothing to do with any of the reasons he offered on the campaign trail and 2) that it’s probably somethi...
Hurdles: They Can Go Wrong
Minkah Fitzpatrick is now out of tonight’s LSU-Alabama game, but not before targeting Russell Gage’s dick and balls as the Tigers receiver tried to hurdle the All-American:...
Houston Nutt Settles, Gets An Apology From Ole Miss
Although it’s already grown to feel like one of this nation’s landmark lawsuits, Houston Nutt’s battle with Ole Miss officially came to a close Monday evening, just three months after the ex-Rebels coach vengefully set his old program aflame....
Baseball Team Cruelly Loses Game Eight Innings After Celebrating Championship
At least the Wichita Wingnuts got to savor the taste of victory, as they streamed out of the dugout onto the field to celebrate clinching the championship of the American Association, an independent baseball league, on a ninth-inning groundout. Unfortunately, they didn’t actually win the game. ...
With The First Nutshot Of The Season, Football Truly Has Arrived
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