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Flush With Two-Ply Dreams Of Greatness
The Bakersfield Condors are a minor league hockey franchise in California, whose team motto is Soaring to New Heights. And never will that be more in evidence than on Friday during Toilet Paper Roll Giveaway Night, as the Condors take on the Fresno Falcons....

The McGwire Maelstrom Is Upon Us
Well, as pretty much everyone has weighed in on now, Mark McGwire is on the Hall of Fame ballot, and it's got everybody's panties in a bunch. We typically get exhausted by Hall of Fame debates anyway — they're like regular sports debates, except it's about stuff that ended a decade ago — but this on...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Jay Mariotti Vs. Darren Daulton
After nearly a week off, the Deadspin SHOTY Tournament kicks back up today — just three more first-round matchups left — with a guy who seemingly shows up every week around these parts, if just to make himself more famous, against a former Philadelphia hero who has only made Deadspin once, but in a ...

Cancel Those Reservations, Ladies
First O.J.'s television interview is canceled, and now this. Remember how Mike Tyson was supposed to be all set to go to work for Heidi Fleiss at her new stud farm in Nevada? Turns out, evidently, that it's not true. And our Wednesday just got a little bit sadder. From ContactMusic.com:...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Chris Berman Vs. Farney
All right, after some wild voting irregularities yesterday — remember: The Deadspin way is not to raise too much issue with people cheering on their favorites in a poll on a silly blog — we have what we'd think would be a blowout today. But you never know: Someday a No. 16 WILL beat a No. 1. Probabl...

Your Barbaro Holiday Gift Giving Guide
As the holidays draw ever closer, it's time for us to address the serious issues; such as what should we get Barbaro for Christmas? You really should start shopping now to beat the rush. Perhaps Barbaro would like to learn a foreign language, so that he can enjoy all of his fan letters from Mexico...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Harold Reynolds Vs. Ned
Ordinarily, the SHOTY tournament will take place on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but this week, with that whole Thanksgiving business, we're going Monday-Tuesday this week. We hope your system can handle the shock....

Barbaro Forever
Good news for Barbaro fans. If the worst should happen, there's still hope that "Bobby" will not be gone for good. In Austin Texas, scientists successfully cloned a barrel-racing horse named Scamper....

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Ricky Manning Jr.
We're off to the next first-round matchup, and this one seems likely to be more of a blowout than the potential upset brewing in the Roethlisberger-Mikulik matchup. (Polls are open, by the way, until all first round matchups are completed.)...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Ben Roethlisberger Vs. Joe Mikulik
All right, after what appears to be an easy victory for Matt Leinart last week, fellow losing-team quarterback Ben Roethlisberger enters the fray this week in the Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year Tournament. (We're calling it "SHOTY.") He takes on famous freakout minor league manager Joe Mikulik in ...

Blasted Apart, With Just A Hint Of Juniper
Ladies and gentlepersons, we proudly introduce you to SeasonShot. What is it? It's a shotgun that saved you the trouble of having to spice your meat! You can blast a bird out of the air and lightly pepper it with coriander at the same time! We'll let the inventors describe it:...

Introducing The Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year Tournament
Since Sports Illustrated is making its unveiling of the 2006 Sportsman Of The Year award into a two-month enterprise, we figured we could do the same thing. Therefore, we are introducing the Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year tournament, where 16 nominees will compete for the sainted title. We've put ...

The Legend Of Ned Grows
What makes a hero? Is a man born to be remembered through the ages, or is greatness thrust upon him whether he desires it or not? History may little note nor long remember the fight between Florida International and the University of Miami. But we shall never forget the valiant sacrifices of Ned, ...

An Excuse To Break Out Our Ditka Wine!
If an alien race ever decided to attack us, we know of one sure-fire way to hold off the destruction. Just send this ad into space. It's sure to render potential invaders hopelessly befuddled, so that they veer off toward a stable planet, like Saturn. Heck, we live here, and we're frightened by this...

It's Morning In America!
So, hey, good morning, everybody. What'd we miss?...

Time To Pay Up, Gawker
You might remember, back in those halcyon days of two weeks ago, that we made a wager with Alex Balk, editor of angry sister site Gawker and Tigers fan, that whoever's team lost the World Series would have to take over the other's site for a day. (We know you remember this, because Gawker's commen...

We're Freaking McNuts, Man, And We McLove It
You know ... it's possible that Eagles fans are becoming rather upset with their team's play of late....

Get Away From Me, Marathoners!
This gentleman is Paul Kapellas, and he lives in Chicago....

Like A Bat Out Of Hell, We'll Be GONE When The Morning Comes!
Because we are a badass road cannon of destruction, we are zooming through the Midwest this week in a silver Chevy Cobalt. (We went to a motocross event in Taylorville, Ill., over the weekend and showed up in this car; this in no way caused us to be mocked, nope.) It's looking incredibly unlikely ...

Playoff Blogdome: NLCS, Game 7
Scanning the blogs following the Cardinals' 3-1 win over the Mets in Game 7 of the National League Championship Series ......