oh Page 335 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sir, You Did Not Read The Memo Carefully
(GolfTippin via Shane Bacon)...
NFL Highlight Of The Week: Stokley's 'Miracle' Touchdown
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....
Ohio State-USC Game A Missed FAILgate Opportunity
"Ohio State says it has learned its lesson from big matchups such as the Texas game in 2005, in which cleanup crews found several soiled shorts and a few coolers filled with poop." [Columbus Dispatch]...
Derrick Mason's Response To Keyshawn's Raven-Bashing: "You're The Bum!" (UPDATE)
Gifted trash talkers as they are, Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter's insults do not always prove true. After shitting all over Baltimore's offense by calling Joe Flacco "a bum," the Ravens exploded Sunday and fired back at the analysts....
Michael Jordan's Tears Do Not Prove He's Human
I was out last night so I didn't catch Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech until this morning, but it was pretty damn classic and incredibly moving, and no one seemed more moved by it than MJ himself....
Let's Roll Some Sports Talk About Sports!
Oh hello. I am Choire Sicha, your 9/11 guest blogger, coming to you from lower Manhattan. Make of that what you will....
If You Have A Heart Left, This Story Will Touch It
This one's for you cynical bastards, inured to a summer of miserable stories. With the death of a high school football player's grandmother, the only parent he ever knew, he gained two new foster fathers: his coaches....
Chauvinist Tennis Player Not Too Young To Admire Bobby Riggs
Fourth-round U.S. Open loser John Isner says the No. 1 female tennis player in the world couldn't beat the 700 or 800th best man. You've come a long way, baby....
John Madden Agrees To Work For NFL, Save Frank Caliendo's Career
The former broadcaster/coach, apparently bored with retirement already, has been hired as a "Special Advisor to the Commissioner." "See this right here? That's a four-game suspension for drug use. BAM!" [ProFootballWeekly]...
Ron Artest and John Green, Reunited At Last
Sports history was made today when professional crazy man Ron Artest and amateur famewhore John Green called into Detroit's "Drew and Mike" show at the same time, so they could talk about their friendship and simultaneously plug non-existent charity events....
Ron Artest And Palace Beer Thrower Become BFFs
Ron Artest says he tracked down John Green—the Detroit thug who threw a beer at him, sparking the worstfunnest night in NBA history—not so he could throttle him silly, but so they could team up for exciting adventures!...
Terrelle Pryor May Not Be The Best Spokesman For Michael Vick
So some stuff happened this weekend, huh? We might have missed some of it. Like that thing Terrelle Pryor said about murderers? What was that all about?...
Final Update: Red Rover, Red Rover, Hugh Johnson Is Over
For today at least. And somehow we made it through with only 70% of you realizing I know nothing about college football. Your final HJP of the day is below....
Update 2: Not All Technological Advancements Benefit Mankind
Now we're cookin'! Paulus choked (which should please you), Kenny Chesney sucks, and Lee Corso is frighteningly detailed....
Update 1: All Systems Go
In the words of jeremycham, "it has begun". Some good stuff to start, but we could have used a few more Greg Paulus references....
Guess Hugh's Back?
The Hugh Johnson Project, that is the one who is back!...
Two Of Kentucky's Greatest Minds Finally Meet
Yes, that's living giant and "You Tube Sports" reporter Kige Ramsey perched behind new Kentucky head coach John Calipari. If an audio clip of this conversation existed it'd be translated into 30 different languages and pored over for centuries. [FriendsOfTheProgram]...
The Michigan Fans' Jihad Against Michael Rosenberg
Michigan fanboys still clutching their pearls over this weekend's Detroit Free Press exposé have rallied mindlessly around Jonathan Chait, who has now written two guest columns accusing Free Press columnist Michael Rosenberg, the story's co-author, of waging an "anti-Rodriguez jihad."...
Reach For The Heavens! Or At Least Use A Ladder
You think embarrassing team photos are a new phenomenon? Check these three light-in-the-loafers Jayhawks from a few years back. I implore you, keep sending these in. After the jump, an unidentified high school team utilizes hardware, for some reason....