oh Page 336 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....

Oklahoma State Fans Incensed Over New Lame-Ass Fight Song
The Oklahoma State Cowboys are unveiling a new pre-game song this year which has some alumni and current students upset due to the tune's overall nonsensical wussiness. Cowboys Forever, y'all....

NFL Preemptively Stops First Twitter Touchdown Celebration
As expected, the NFL has laid down a formal law banning the use of Twitter during games, providing fans with at least one safe haven in the ongoing war to see who can be the league's most obnoxious player....

What The Buckeyes Learned In Canada
There must be a reasonable explanation for this photo, besides the obvious scenario of a Michigan SID spying on Thad Matta's squad and hacking into Ohio State's official athletics Web site. On second thought......

New Jersey Golf Course Is A Dump. Literally.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ohio State Asks Fans To Stop Being Obnoxious Pricks For Five Seconds
Ohio State is graciously allowing a service academy to play football on its field this season and also politely requests that their fans not mercilessly rain boos, slurs and D batteries down upon the Midshipmen as they take the field....

New Bad Thing Happens To Comically Star-Crossed Organization
Johan Santana's done for the year: "The Mets said Tuesday that Santana will have arthroscopic surgery to clean up bone chips in his left elbow. The team said he's expected to be ready for spring training next year." [AP]...

Cardinals Bullpen Fixes John Smoltz In Five Minutes
Two weeks ago, John Smoltz left Boston a washed up failure. Then one bullpen session with the Cardinals and suddenly he's a future Hall of Famer again. All because his teammates figured out what Boston coaches couldn't....

Ochocinco Wants to Fight Berto, WBC Champ Guarantees A Beating
Chad Ochocinco has spent a few months of his off-season time training in boxing gyms, and now he's talking about launching a pro career. He's gone so far as to call out WBC Welterweight champion Andre Berto....

Paper Tigers: Memphis Didn't Win Those Things They Won
Your new NCAA record-holder for most wins in a season: the four teams that used to hold it before Memphis won 38 in 2007-08. That's because Memphis has to vacate all of them, plus their Final Four appearance....

Brendan Haywood Apologizes For Gay-Panicky Dig At Marbury
"I don't support or condemn homosexuality," Haywood explains agnostically, before diving into the comments and discoursing with the rabble on such matters as race, sexuality, the First Amendment and showering with men. [Yardbarker]...

Don Ohlmeyer Addresses Roethlisberger Story, Learns What "Ombudsman" Means
Former NBC executive Don Ohlmeyer actually opened his first ESPN ombudsman column by reciting the definition of "ombudsman" from the dictionary. And also like a bad graduation speech, he takes way too long to get to the point....

They Lost The 'Devil,' But The Rays Are Still Goth
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Brendan Haywood Thinks Stephon Marbury May Have A Touch Of Scary Gayness
Or, as he put it, "swinging from both sides of the fence", which is what the Wiz center concluded after he watched some of Marbury's ridiculous live-streaming marathons from a couple weeks ago....

Gaming Wars Rage On, With Dueling NCAA Theft Convictions
Some athletes like the multiplayer options and upgrades that come with PC gaming. Others prefer the simplicity and cost of console gaming. But they can all agree: stealing gaming platforms from fellow students is the way to go....

Bizarre Sucker Punch Costs Ohio State Footballer His Season
Buckeye linebacker Tyler Moeller will miss the entire year because a complete stranger punched him in the head at a restaurant in Florida. (It wasn't a Gator fan.) The moral, as always, is that Florida is awful. [Columbus Dispatch]...

Calipari: Be Nice to Pitino!
Sporting News Today reports (without any direct quotations) that John Calipari wants Kentucky basketball fans to refrain from picking on Rick Pitino when Louisville visits Rupp Arena....

And Now A Musical Interlude From John Daly
The big guy dropped out of the PGA Championship after one round (citing a bad back) and then dropped this smash hit single (citing the chords from "Every Rose Has Its Thorn.") Spoiler!: It's about being sad. [Devil Ball Golf]...

What To Expect From "Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals"
The Cincinnati Bengals are not quite the trainwreck they once were, but everyone is still hoping for some kind of entertainment value out of this year's edition of HBO's "Hard Knocks" docudrama. Don't get your hopes up....

Johnny Narron: His Tongue Deviseth Mischiefs
On Friday, I spoke with Johnny Narron, the Rangers' special assignment coach and Josh Hamilton's devoutly religious "accountability partner." He was gracious, forthright and apparently full of crap....