oh Page 354 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chad Johnson Is An Interviewer's Dream
At this point approaching Chad Johnson with a microphone is slightly less dangerous than taunting tigers at the San Francisco Zoo....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Please Don't Make Legends Wear Their Old Uniforms
Most frighteningly, as The Serious Tip points out, their collective voices sounds like ... well, an old friend....
Singing The Praises Of The Lakers-Celtics Rivalry
Believe it or not, there was a time when the biggest problem that Isiah Thomas had was random Boston Celtics attempting to place shoes on his head. The year was 1987, and that's not just any Celtic, actually; it's the great Kevin McHale. The last year that Boston has been in the NBA Finals also happ...
Call The Kids, It's Another Profanity-Laced Tirade!
Ah, to return to the halcyon days of March 31, when the Mariners were 1-0 and all was right with the world. But today they're 18 games below .500, having lost four straight and 12 of their past 15. The latest, a 4-3 5-4 loss to the Angels, prompted manager John McLaren to spew some choice profanitie...
Obama, McCain Finally Ready To Duke It Out Over Sports Metaphors
For perspective of just how long this Democratic primary process has gone one, the day Sen. Barack Obama announced his candidacy for President in Springfield, Illinois (just 80 miles from Mattoon!), the Indianapolis Colts had just won the Super Bowl and all the buzz was whether or not Barry Bonds wo...
Your Monday Update On The Player Who Was Traded For Bats
No matter what John Odom does from here on out — make it to the majors; get multiple World Series rings; become Pope — he will always be remembered as the player who was traded for bats. It happened last week, as Odom was sent from the Calgary Vipers of the Golden League to the Laredo Broncos of the...
Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...
Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...
Wait, They Traded Blue Moon Odom?
It's not very gratifying to be traded for an inanimate object. Unless my ex-girlfriend breaking up with me so she could spend more time with her vibrator counts, I have no idea what it must feel like to be traded for 10 baseball bats....
Johnny Lawrence Can Still Sweep The Leg
It's time for Minor Enterprise, which celebrates Minor League baseball and all else that is good and great about America. And now, please rise as William Hung sings his rendition of our National Anthem ......
John Tomase Spared Any More Online Ridicule For Now
After last Friday's awkwardly (if not sincere) apologizing to readers of the Boston Herald, Patriot fans, Patriot front office, Bill Belichick, Pat Patriot and anyone else who's ever been remotely affiliated with the team, Rams walkthrough bumbler John Tomase did receive a little bit of grace from t...
Pats' Beat Writer Attempts To Keep Fans From Yelling At Him For The Rest Of His Life
Boston Herald Patriots beat writer John Tomase promised an apology — and an explanation — after it was revealed that his February 2 story about the Pats taping the Rams' walkthrough before Super Bowl XXXVI wasn't true. (The tape failed to materialize and never existed.) Boy, did he ever come through...
Media Approval Ratings: John Clayton
In our book, we said this about John Clayton: "Often resembles the guy in RoboCop after he falls in the toxic waste just before he's squished by the oncoming car." Someone classified this as "mean." We prefer, as always, "cheeky."...
Challis' Message Continues To Inspire
Those who have been following the story of John Challis in the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette shouldn't be surprised that he's taking the country by storm. The Freedom High School (Pa.) senior, who has terminal cancer, was invited to attend Game 2 of the NHL playoff series between Philadelphia and Pittsbu...
OSU Lacrosse Goalie Makes Sport Watchable, If Briefly
I grew up in Maryland, where lacrosse is the official team sport (The official individual sport? Jousting. Yes, Maryland is retarded. I'm sure they'll change the team sport to Quidditch before the decade is out). There, lacrosse is all the rage with white guys and the rare black dude who listens to...
Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies fo...
Excavating Joe Montana For Fun And Profit
The professional snoopers at The Smoking Gun have uncovered their latest oddball lawsuit between Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana and his ex-wife, Kim Moses, pertaining to the auction sale of some personal items from his college days including a photo I.D. and sappy love letters (one on a Ziggy ...