oh Page 366 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist
Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally ba...
Tank Johnson Is Not Drunk, But Drunk Enough
So, with word coming out that beleaguered Chicago Bear Tank Johnson actually being under the legal limit in his DUI arrest a couple of weeks ago — the one that ultimately forced his release from the Bears — the guy should be out of the woods and all set and good again, right?...
Someone Please Help Lift Up Kruk's Hair
The heroic folks at The Sports Hernia have been documenting the various incarnations of John Kruk's hair this year, from the Barry Melrose to the "perm jailbreak."...
Viva Le Patterson!
After visiting four doctors in four states to cure a problem that could be affecting his livelihood, a man, desperate, decides to head to Canada to receive treatment that the arcane American health care system can't provide for him....
Come "Party" With Daequan Cook
According to the most recent — and, we presume, the final — NBADraft.net projection — Ohio State guard Daequan Cook is slated to be drafted tonight with the 22nd pick by the Charlotte Bobcats. We hope it works out for him, because he's hosting a party tonight, and it's totally gonna be embarrassing ...
The Mets Show Some Midnight Funk
Anyway, after Shawn Green's walk-off homer last night, the Mets celebrated like crazy people at home plate. Specifically, Jose Reyes did his little boxer's dance at home plate and, most amusingly, Jose Valentin going all caveman on the ground with his bat. "Shawn homer! Shawn homer! Bash! Bash!" Tha...
Calvin Johnson Must Be Really, Really Good
...because he has Jon Kitna believing that the Detroit Lions are going to dominate the NFL this year. The same Lions that went 3-13 last year, because of a rookie wide receiver, are going to win 10+ games this year. Mmhmm....
John Smoltz And Chipper Jones Have Beef
Continuing with the Atlanta-Braves-With-Anger-Issues theme, Chipper Jones and John Smoltz appear to be having a little bit of a tiff. Smoltz thinks Jones is milking an injury, and Jones thinks Smoltz is a big meaniehead, and neither one of them will speak directly to the other....
Kenny Anderson Will Make You Sweat
In non-Reggie Theus coaching news, yesterday, former NBA point guard Kenny Anderson was hired yesterday for a new coaching gig. And it's in that favorite place for us to drop by from time to time: The CBA! Since we saw you last, CBA, you've pared down a lot of your teams, though the Butte Daredevils...
Robots Ride Camels Better Than Children
Like you, we are aware of the upcoming robot apocalypse. Our human emotion is our primary weakness and will lead to our ultimate downfall....
John Amaechi Is Keeping Busy
Anybody wondering what John Amaechi has been up to since his coming out — first as a former NBA player, secondly as a gay man — in his book Man In The Middle for ESPN Books? Anybody? Somebody was, right?...
If Detroit Pitchers Played All Nine Positions ...
We have to agree with Bugs and Cranks: Seeing a truly awful defensive play in baseball is darned near as good as seeing a truly great one. The site's Lead Glove Awards are out, and once again we see Manny Ramirez in a place of honor. A couple of our favorite lines:...
John Daly Wants To Make It Clear His Wife Beats Him
Someone asked us the other day: "Why do people care so much about John Daly? He never even wins tournaments. He's not that good." The answer to our question was simple: John Daly is the world's only interesting golfer....
John Daly's Wife: 'No Stabby My Hubby'
We knew that there had to be more to this story ... come on, it's John Daly. And he didn't let us down. apparently....
Chad Johnson and Rags to Riches: A Love Story
Let me propose something: The love-child (fine, if you insist: "love-foal") of Chad Johnson and Rags to Riches could be the greatest racing machine in the history of the world....
Chad Johnson: The New Barbaro?
How far has horse racing sunk? Far enough that sport's biggest event of the day isn't at Belmont, but at River Downs in Cincinnati....
Your Daily Michael Vick Update(s)
You know it has reached a bad place when there is so much going on you have to put all the new updates in bullet form......
About John Daly's Stabby Wife...
We are 24 hours in to the story of John Daly getting stabbed by his wife with a steak knife (seen to the left, without knife). Details are sketchy and not necessarily either accurate or in this order:...
Tank Johnson Would Like To Be The Face Of The NFL
In case you were wondering, being involved in a shooting incident in Vegas — though you didn't fire the weapon and all you really did was hang out with shady people and try to get your money back after a rather ill-advised "making it rain" incident — will earn you a one-year suspension from the NFL....
Ladies And Gentlemen, Football Great Johnnie Morton
Johnnie Morton spent most of his NFL career with the Detroit Lions. His MMA debut puts him on roughly the same career arc....