on Page 5915 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com]...

Study: College Basketball Refs Suck, Too
A couple of professors watched a bunch of college basketball games and came to the very reasonable conclusion, in a peer-reviewed academic journal, that they were all being reffed by Dick Bavetta....

Elizabeth Lambert Comes Full Circle
New Mexico roughhouser Elizabeth Lambert has done it all—she beat up a chick on television, became a national pariah, then a cautionary tale, and now has a soft-focus mea culpa in The New York Times. Next stop: Hollywood!...

"Out Of Bounds" Enters The Fray
Former Deadspin editor Rick Chandler captains a new sports blogatorium for NBC Sports. Stop by often and show your support. [Out Of Bounds]...

2012: Why See The Movie If You Already Know What's Coming
Yes, everyone's favorite lizard conversationalist, Darren Daulton, has a website to promote his metaphysics "starter kit" so everyone can be prepared for falling buildings, tidal waves, and John Cusack's erratic piloting. [Dutch2012.com]...

Manchester United Player Mows Your Lawn. Literally.
Man U. winger Gabriel Obertan makes £20,000 a week even though he's out with an injury—so the team has him pruning bushes and washing cars to earn his keep. [TheSun, via Unprofessional Foul]...

Mark Mangino Has A Bit Of A Temper
Does this look like the face of someone who would berate and threaten his players? Or worse, a parking enforcer who was only doing his job when he gave the Kansas football coach two dozen parking tickets? You'd be surprised....

Last Night's Winner: Josh Pastner
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Memphis coach Josh Pastner, who didn't even win! Don't think that won't stop him from becoming college basketball's new golden boy....

Hey Dude In The Back...What Number Is Kansas Ranked?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Charlie Weis Death Watch Flies Under The Radar
Notre Dame is so desperate to pretend they haven't decided to fire Weis, they've blocked their private plane (also known as the SchmoozeJet) from being tracked on the Internet. Though odds are 2:1 it's been to Palo Alto....

Beat That, Dr. James Andrews
Arsenal striker Robin van Persie plans to treat his injured ankle by smothering it in placental fluid. Funny, because that description fairly well sums up Cristiano Ronaldo's fling with Paris Hilton. [Guardian]...

Ex-Patriots Rough Up Some Children For Charity
Cameramen aren't the only people who need to be wary around the Patriots. A lesson learned too late for some students who thought they were going to meet their heroes in the name of a good cause. Instead: carnage....

Silverdome Sold For The Price Of Two Practice Squad Players
The unused stadium went for $583,000 at auction, and could be the future home of an MLS team. That might sound cheap, but it's still 583,000 times more expensive than some other Detroit properties. [CNNMoney]...

Dodgeball Lawsuit Makes Me Fear For The Manliness Of Our Youth
A kid got nailed in the face during a dodgeball game at his school, and now he might sue the city. Maybe he needs to sue evolution for not giving him the reflexes to survive in middle school gym class....

Miami Coach Not Impressed By Lexington Reporter's Question
A reporter asked Miami of Ohio coach Charlie Coles (a 17.5-point underdog last night) how he let the Kentucky game "get away from him." He was not amused....

Is This The End Of Mark (And Baby) Mangino?
Kansas has launched an internal investigation of football coach Mark Mangino, which combined with five straight losses and an upcoming shellacking against Texas, could spell doom for the rotund coach. But what will become of his infant doppleganger?...

Shocker: AL's Best Pitcher Wins AL Cy Young
It's Zack Greinke by a landslide, which means the Internet won't have the pleasure of yelling at wrongheaded baseball writers until Thursday, when they snub Tim Lincecum. [BBWAA]...

Who Had Dick Jauron In Their Pool?
Now that guy got canned! The Bills owner said he fired his head coach today, because "nothing ever seemed to go right." That is very perceptive, Ralph. [Buffalo News]...

Nicotine, Valium, Vicodin, Marijuana, Ectasy and Alcohol. C-c-c-c-cocaine…
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering cocaine, button down shirts, and dating....

Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....