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Lionel Messi Taken To Hospital With Knee Injury [UPDATE]
Barcelona subbed off Lionel Messi and the superstar went to a hospital after suffering a knee injury early in today’s match against Las Palmas. ...
The Idiotic <i>Stonewall </i>Is A Bigger Disaster Than Roland Emmerich's Actual Disaster Movies
1. Stonewall misses the point of the Stonewall riots in almost the exact same way that Pearl Harbor missed the point of Pearl Harbor. That’s not a comparison I make lightly. Pearl Harbor turned one of the most seminal moments in American history into the pretext for a lame story about two white schm...
Try Not To Laugh At Jerry Jones's Evaluation Of Brandon Weeden
The Cowboys are in as bad a shape as any 2-0 team can be. Tony Romo will miss most of the season with a broken clavicle, and Dez Bryant’s busted foot will keep him on the shelf for God knows how long. Backup quarterback Brandon Weeden will lead the team against Atlanta next week, a fact Jerry Jones ...
Police: TCU Football Players Arrested For Assault, Jacking A Case Of Keystone Light
According to numerous reports, TCU senior defensive end Mike Tuaua and redshirt freshman wide receiver Andre Petties-Wilson were arrested on felony robbery and bodily injury charges for allegedly beating up fellow students outside of a party, and then stealing their case of Keystone Light....
A Sketchy Drug Test Didn’t Stop Vitor Belfort From Fighting At UFC 152
Just more than 24 hours ahead of their Memorial Day fight this year, UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman stepped up to his opponent, Vitor Belfort, in public, ready to accuse him of cheating....
The Procrastinator’s Guide To iOS 9
iOS 9 came out this week, and you might want to put it on your phone, or figure out what the hell you get by installing this thing. This is a guide for those who care, but only barely....
<i>First Blood </i>Is A Darker, Sadder, And Better Rambo Flick Than You Remember
The climax of 1982’s First Blood isn’t a gun battle or a knife fight. It’s Sylvester Stallone, as John Rambo, breaking down into big, blubbery tears, trying to make sense of the world around him. He’s learned that he’s the last surviving member of his elite fighting force, that America has no furthe...
Ducks' Clayton Stoner Charged For Killing And Beheading Cheeky The Bear
NHL player Clayton Stoner, then with the Minnesota Wild, traveled to British Columbia in May of 2013, killed a grizzly bear, cut off his head, and posed for a photo. That September, we declared him an enemy of Deadspin. Today, Stoner’s facing five charges related to the death of Cheeky the bear....
How To Answer The Phone
Your phone rings. It isn’t one of the two people you talk to regularly, but also doesn’t appear to be a bill collector. And you, you’ve been answering the phone the same way since you were 12. Get yourself together. ...
Pacman Jones Won't Be Suspended For Slamming Amari Cooper's Head Into His Own Helmet
Kind of surprisingly, multiple reports state that Bengals corner Adam “Pacman” Jones will be fined but not suspended for ripping off Raiders WR Amari Cooper’s helmet and bashing the back of his head against it....
Pacman Jones Rips Amari Cooper's Helmet Off, Slams His Head Into It
Welcome to the NFL rook! Jones is going to have to find something to do next weekend. Here are some ideas, man....
Moses Malone Is Dead At 60
Moses Malone died in his sleep early this morning in Norfolk, VA. He was 60. ...
David Ortiz Clobbers 500th Home Run Of His Career
David Ortiz became the 27th member of the 500 home run club Saturday night, belting a solo shot off of Matt Moore in the 5th inning to right field. ...
Jack Johnson Is Fighting For His Contract In Bankruptcy Court
Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Jack Johnson filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last October, after being scammed out of millions by his parents. Now, he’s attempting to convert his filing into a Chapter 7 case—which, in very broad terms, would allow Johnson to resolve his debts by liquidating his ass...
A Layman's Guide To The New iPhones, And Apple's Other New Crap
Earlier today, Apple Inc., a failing novelty-watch interest based in California, announced a new range of products. You can claw through technical explanations of the tick-tock of every little thing, but this is a guide for everything normal people actually need to know....
Fearless Jackrabbit Dances In End Zone After Invading CFL Game
The Edmonton Eskimos and Calgary Stampeders played a football game Monday, but who cares about that. Check out the jackrabbit that jumped on the field while Edmonton’s Kendial Lawrence returned a kick....
Cardale Jones Didn't Know He Was Starting Until The First Series
The only meaningful bit of pregame intrigue surrounding Ohio State’s season opener against Virginia Tech was the question of who would be the Buckeyes’ starting quarterback. With Braxton Miller moving to receiver, the choice was down to J.T. Barrett and Cardale Jones, and both were kept in the dark ...
The NFL Must Hire A Commissioner
Today, in striking down the four-game suspension of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady over the Ballghazi football-inflation scandal, federal district-court judge Richard M. Berman issued a stark repudiation of the National Football League’s entire enforcement regime. It’s but the latest in ...