ow Page 650 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Candy Corn Is Garbage
Many people like candy corn, such as hobos, serial murderers, and Satan. But actually, candy corn is terrible. If you give it out to trick-or-treating children this evening, you belong in fucking prison....
The Pumpkin Dance
The true spirit of Halloween. Here's the story behind it, but you're probably better off coming up with your own explanation....
And Now, Your Worst Halloween Costume Stories
We were living in Chicago when I was six, and I chose to be a ghost for Halloween. I made the costume myself, because cutting two holes in a sheet seems like an easy task. Of course, I had to cut a third eyehole, because my first two were off-alignment. I also failed to consider the fact that a...
Which Candies Have Have The Most Sugar?
Ostensibly, this chart from WaPo's Wonkblog is about ranking candy by its sugar content so you can consume the maximum amount of sugar, and it does a fine job of that. But looking at it, all I can think about is how everything north of Gummy Bears coming in at a full 70 percent sugar is so much more...
Jameis Winston Throws Terrible Interception, Then Forces Fumble
Jameis Winston's a star athlete in two sports, but it looks like the reigning Heisman winner could play both ways on the gridiron, too. Here's the Seminoles QB making a truly regrettable decision, then making up for it by forcing the fumble. He's still got a two-touchdown deficit from which to dig h...
Scientific Proof Gatorade Is Better Than Powerade
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
The Full Cleveland Cavaliers Intro & Starting Lineups, With Proper Audio
TNT (or, perhaps, Quicken Loans Arena) had a major audio fuckup tonight that left the Knicks' radio feed bleeding all over the Cavs' carefully-crafted fancy intro. So here's that fancy intro and starting lineups with proper audio....
Kobe To Dwight Howard: "Soft Motherfucker, Bitch-Ass Nigga"
It was plainly clear that Kobe Bryant called Dwight Howard "soft" while shit-talking his former teammate on opening night, but now, thanks to an intrepid Instagram user who was sitting courtside at the game, we know that Kobe also called Dwight a "bitch-ass nigga."...
Man Loses It, Destroys House After Cowboys Lose Regular-Season Game
Part of me thinks this Cowboys fan's rampage after Monday night's loss is played up, but then again, to what end? This dude destroys a LOT of shit just because his first-place team lost a regular-season game. Hell, he starts breaking stuff before the Cowboys even lose. What's wrong with this guy?...
Cowboys RB Joseph Randle Cracked Jokes In Jail, Asked For A Massage
Cowboys running back Joseph Randle was booked in Frisco County Jail after he allegedly stole cologne and underwear from a Dillard's earlier this month. Watching surveillance footage from the jail, Randle was oddly relaxed about the arrest, making jokes and offering an officer $100 for a massage....
High School Quarterback Blows Play-In Game In Worst Way Imaginable
Spanish Fork High School had the lead and the ball in the final seconds of a play-in game against Maple Mountain, and was well on its way to the Utah state tournament. With Maple Mountain out of timeouts, Spanish Fork decided to run a play on fourth down and run off the six seconds remaining on the ...
Jerry Jones: Tony Romo's Status Depends On His Pain Tolerance
The good: Tony Romo's new back injury isn't related to his surgery, and it won't end his season. The bad: That's only true if you believe Jerry Jones....
Kobe And Dwight Howard Talk Shit To Each Other, Get Double Technicals
Dwight Howard left the Lakers a season ago, but because of Kobe Bryant's achilles injury, the two haven't played against each other since their ill-fated partnership blew up in everybody's face. If you thought things between the two were all good, well, you don't know Kobe Bryant very well....
It's Opening Night, & Gregg Popovich Is Already Fed Up With Interviews
It's no secret that Gregg Popovich is no fan of the in-game interview, but we figured he'd make it through at least one of them this season without the whole thing breaking down into a postmodern farce. We were wrong....
Report: Gordie Howe Suffered "Serious" Stroke
Red Wings legend Gordie Howe suffered a stroke early Sunday morning in Texas, according to The Detroit News. Howe, 86, is now out of the hospital and recuperating in Lubbock at his daughter's house. His son told the paper that, while Howe is having significant physical issues, his mind is doing bett...
LSU's Defense Dominated In Critical Situations This Week
Although Ole Miss quarterback Bo Wallace was shut down through much of Saturday's game against LSU, he had two chances late in the game to lead his team to victory. However, LSU's defense stopped both of Ole Miss' late drives and accounted for two of the most impactful plays of the week, according...
Spanish Player Hits Referee, Himself In The Face With Basketball
Unlike that tennis lineswoman, this basketball referee definitely has an excuse for crumpling to the ground after Sergio Llull of Real Madrid Baloncesto's errant pass bounds directly into his face. Llull even gets a taste of his own medicine when the thing doinks off the ref's head and into his own....
Watch Paralympian Josh Sundquist Make His Fantastic Halloween Costume
Former Paralympian Josh Sundquist now spends his time as a motivational speaker, but when Halloween comes around, he becomes the best costume creator of the holiday. He's gone as a flamingo, gingerbread man with a leg bitten off, and the leg lamp from A Christmas Story in past years. This year, he...
Jerry Jones Is Fucking Crazy
It was only a matter of time before Jerry Jones fucked it all up. I covered the Cowboys for NBC's Dallas affiliate for a few years, and covering the Cowboys is an easy job because Jerry Jones never stops talking to the media, and is a completely fucking insane person. He is a man who abhors a vacu...