ow Page 772 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Listen To Joey Votto Scream "Fuck!" Over And Over Again
Joey Votto was struck out by Ubaldo Jimenez in the first inning of yesterday's Indians-Reds game. He was not happy about that, as evidenced by this torrent of fucks. Enjoy all the fucks....
Danica Patrick's Boyfriend Causes Her To Crash At Coca-Cola 600
With 82 laps to go in Sunday's Coca-Cola 600, Ricky Stenhouse Jr. bumped Danica Patrick, causing her to crash, along with Brad Keselowski. Worth noting: Stenhouse Jr. and Patrick are dating. Drama!...
MLB Network Is Just Inventing New Statistics Now
If only my dog could shit with at least a .275 average....
The Pacers' Paul George Has Gradually Exploded All At Once
After two games in Miami, it's no longer assured that the Heat — reigning champs, winners of 27 straight in the regular season, top seed in the Eastern Conference, proud owners of fans like these — are going to dispatch the Indiana Pacers quickly, or for that matter, at all. The series is tied at a ...
Trope-Recycling Bill Simmons Has Bill Simmons Syndrome
Bill Simmons this week mused on the fate of Dwight Howard, who appears to be the NBA's equivalent of plutonium: a potential world-beater but perilously radioactive. To characterize the gap between Perceived Dwight Howard and Actual Dwight Howard, the founder of Grantland and ESPN spittling-head did ...
Hawk Completely Melts Down About This Blown Double Play Call
Chicago White Sox announcer Ken "Hawk" Harrelson was obviously a little high-strung yesterday when Chicago had bases loaded in the bottom of the 10th with one out against the lowly Marlins. When umpire Angel Hernandez called White Sox batter Alex Rios out at first base to complete the double play an...
How To Grill Cheeseburgers And Win Your Memorial Day Cookout
So you've got your grand Memorial Day weekend feast all planned, your spread of exotic, expensive victuals purchased and prepped and ready to be grilled and smoked and barbecued and so on. Brined chicken breasts and home-ground-spice-rubbed pork ribs and organic farm-raised fair-trade cockles; a ra...
This Might Be The Worst Double Play Call You'll See
This is not a double play. It would've been, probably, if Texas Rangers first baseman Mitch Moreland caught the ball to end the play. But he didn't catch the ball. Someone else caught the ball....
Yep, The L.A. Media Is <em>Still</em> Confused By The City's Hockey Team
Man, that was close. Just when we were starting to think we'd get through an entire NHL season without a Kings-related screw-up from the Los Angeles media, Fox 11's Liz Habib rides to the rescue....
The Rams Signed A 403-Pound Lineman
Ole Miss had tackle Terrell Brown officially listed at 385. That was either a lie, or he's had a sedentary spring, because after the Rams signed him as an undrafted free agent earlier in the week, they put him on the scale and got a big surprise....
NESN Reports <em>SportsPickle</em> Satire About Brian Urlacher As News
Yesterday satirical sports website SportsPickle published an amusing story on Brian Urlacher's retirement, claiming the Bears linebacker was retiring but signing a one-day contract with the Packers so he could "go out a winner." Today, while broadcasting coverage of the ACC baseball tournament, NES...
A Brief Oral History Of The Best Jump Ball Of All Time
On Tuesday night, Matt Bonner and Zach Randolph combined to create the above piece of comedic gold. I caught up with Bonner, who claimed he still hasn't seen the replay of the play, although he plans to now. "I have a sense of humor," he said. "Someone told me that Jeff Van Gundy was joking about it...
Toronto Fan Hurls Full Can Of Beer At Nate McLouth, Nearly Hits Him
In what was a good night for bad fans, a spectacular play by Nate McLouth resulted in retribution from a Blue Jays fan who chucked what appears to be a full can of beer from the Rogers Centre upper deck at the Orioles outfielder....
Soccer Player Scores, Takes Off Shorts To Celebrate, Gets Red Card
This is Mario Gjurovski, a Macedonian soccer player who plays for Muangthong United FC in the Thai Premier League. He's sometimes a scorer of good goals, we assume, and when he scored his most recent on Saturday against TOT, he celebrated by taking his shorts off....
An Astros Vendor Pooped Next To His Snow Cones
Astros fans: do not eat the yellow snow cones. They are not lemon. (The browns aren't chocolate either.)...
ESPN Guy Praises Johnny Manziel's "V-I-P-ness" (Say It Out Loud)
College Football Live's Joe Tessitore aroused attention today by stroking Johnny Manziel's total package....
The Wall Is In Bryce Harper's Head
After Bryce Harper clumsily ran face-first into the right-field wall at Dodger Stadium, we were assured—by Harper himself and others—that the incident would not prevent Harper from “playing hard” in the future. Those assurances may have been given a bit hastily....
Matt Bonner And Zach Randolph Give Us The Best Jump Ball Of All Time
This was absolutely the highlight of last night's Grizzlies-Spurs game. There's just something refreshing about watching two NBA players flail around like a couple of hapless rec leaguers. I hope every remaining game in this series features multiple jump balls between Randolph and Bonner, each endin...