ow Page 936 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tour De France, Stage 18: The Day The Sport Lost Its Shit
There are moments when commentary on even the most marginal events rises to such shrieking hyperbole that we're compelled to see what the fuss is all about. Today, Stage 18 of the Tour de France, was one of those days. Total. Freakout. Perhaps this is not unexpected from veteran Versus cycling annou...

Losing To Bruce Bleeping Chen Makes Ozzie Guillen Curse Like A Sailor
This is actually a very reasonable response to getting four hits in eight innings against Chen. [CBS Chicago]...

ESPN's Cringing, Persnickety, Condom-Obsessed Standards And Practices Manual, Presented Unabridged
Below you'll find ESPN's editorial and advertising guidelines as of 2010, sent to us by a tipster. They are the sort of guidelines one finds beneath coffee mugs at any typical media company: binder with laminated cover; nice paper stock; a general air of scolding, constipated didacticism that's like...

Radio Broadcaster Who Looks Freakishly Like Tim Howard Bumps Into Tim Howard
According to Greg Matzek, Milwaukee-area radio personality on 620-WTMJ (an appropriate call sign, given most talk radio folks' penchant for gratuitous gab), he's been told hundreds of times that he looks like Tim Howard. He says he was confused for Tim Howard on the red carpet at the 2007 ESPYs—we b...

Former Phillies Reliever Ricky Bottalico Is Worried About Roy Oswalt's Bulging Dick
Crossing Broad brings us another highlight to add to the already lengthy reel of sports broadcasters talking about bulging dicks....

ESPN Is Going To Think About Considering Making Sure Nothing Like What Didn't Happen To Bruce Feldman Ever Happens Again
"The recent flap over Bruce Feldman's non—suspension..." wrote ESPN's Poynter-approved ombudsperson, Kelly McBride, and already with that one jargony semi-word, "flap," we were in the Klein bottle of journalism about journalism by journalists for nobody. "To date, this is the most complicated ESPN i...

Sports Media Celebrate Equality By Accusing Hope Solo And The USWNT Of Choking In World Cup Final
The U.S. women lost in the World Cup final to Japan on Sunday in Frankfurt after relinquishing leads in the waning moments of both regulation and overtime, then whiffing on its first three penalty kicks, the second of which went soaring off toward Lower Bavaria. In reductive, knee-jerk sportsworld...

Tony Romo Will Be A Leader, As Soon As He's Finished Golfing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: there is a time for football, and this is not it....

Is Baseball To Blame For The Pathetic State Of Pie Throwing?
So some dope interrupted the Murdoch family's stammering and mumbling today by "throwing a pie" at Rupert Murdoch, which actually meant waving a styrofoam plate in Murdoch's direction as some sort of foam slid off it, till Mrs. Rupert Murdoch jumped up and clobbered the "pie" guy....

You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...

Packers DB Sam Shields Gets Giant, Painful-Looking Super Bowl Ring Tattooed On His Neck
Super Bowl winners receive championship rings—expensive, garish things—but they're tangible. You can hang on to your triumph through karats....

This Is What The WWE Title Belt Looks Like In CM Punk's Fridge
There were some goings on at the WWE's "Money in the Bank" PPV last night (to catch up on the stakes, read the Masked Man's preview). Basically, CM Punk is "no longer a WWE employee," but left with the title after beating John Cena in the main event....

Chris Kluwe's 'Downfall' Parody Has Hitler Calling Lockout Negotiators "Lazy Shitfucks"
Downfall parodies seem like they're somehow older than the internet by now. But when one is made by an actual NFL player, we're willing to listen. And Vikings punter Chris Kluwe does a pretty good job of capturing what we're all feeling about the lockout these days....

Dwight Howard Tweeted About His Dump To Some Young Lady
I assume this is the kind of true romance—for which NBA players, Dwight especially—are known, the Harlequin stuff that necessitated Basketball Wives. Having never watched the program, I assume it's all about the refined courtship techniques of professional basketball players. Such as this....

Rejoice: ESPYs Ratings Hit Their Lowest Point In Sixteen Years
We wrote this morning about the brewing anti-ESPN revolution the "Free Bruce" campaign exposed. No longer was ESPN everyone's mostly benevolent overlord—now it was the Soviet Central Committee, purging ne'er-do-well reporters wherever they might pop up....

ESPN Inexplicably Whitewashes Rick Reilly Column To Remove Rupert Murdoch Reference
In the Reilly column we dissected earlier, there was a throwaway line, a very Rick Reilly sort of pop culture reference....

Mike Leach: "ESPN Isn’t Going To Let Little Inconvenient Details Like Facts Get In The Way Of Their Agenda"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Leach is the only one not under a gag order....

Today In Great Ledes
"Sports historians will look back on what happened at ESPN's ESPY awards the other night and pinpoint it as the broadcast that signaled the rise of soccer and the death of football." [Chicago Tribune]...

Soccer Analysts Find Many, Many Ways To Call The Japanese Short
On Sunday, the US Women take on Japan in the Women's World Cup Final. It will be a "tall order" for the Japanese, who have a "height disadvantage." Nay, a "major size disadvantage." The "small Japanese" will "lack height" against the Americans. But despite a match pitting "the smaller Japanese again...

Rick Reilly Goes Union-Busting
Rick Reilly popped another reheated turd out of the microwave. It's a variation on his standard deification of golf as the world's most perfect sport. But here's the twist: this time those blue collar heroes of the links are contrasted with the greedy millionaires of the NBA and NFL....