owns Page 131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tavon Austin Scores Cool Touchdown, Moose Calls Him "Tavon Martin"
Cool pitch and half-reverse play here to spring Tavon Austin for a score. Daryl Johnston got his young black males mixed up, though, and called Austin "Tavon Martin"—because, well, you know—before quickly correcting himself. As unfortunate slips go, this isn't the worst, but I'm sure Moose would ra...
Skip Bayless Is Making Up Shit About The NFL And JFK's Assassination
We all remember where we were and what we were doing when John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Skip Bayless, as is his habit, even remembers things that seemingly didn't actually happen. The First Take embrace debate train rolled through Dealey Plaza on Friday and argued over whether the NFL should ha...
Marc Gasol Keeps The Grizzlies Regular
Here's a fun blurb from Memphis's daily, the Commercial Appeal, attributing a humorous malapoopism to Tony Allen. Marc Gasol has a Grade 2 sprain of his MCL in his left knee and is out indefinitely. This is problematic for the Grizzlies and worse for the Appeal....
Coach Ejected And Suspended For Title Game After Late Hit On His Player
Ensworth (TN) was up 21-12 with two seconds to go in its state semifinal matchup against Brentwood Academy when Brentwood's Derek Barnett—committed to play at Tennessee next year—hit an Ensworth player well out of bounds. It was a clearly cheap and late hit and tempers flared. The referees ended th...
Jeff Van Gundy Sits Down During Live Shot; Mark Jackson Mocks Him
Jeff Van Gundy got off to a rough start last night and didn't even make it to the tip of Warriors-Lakers before stepping in it. Mike Breen and Van Gundy were standing for a pre-game shot and hadn't even introduced the starting lineups when Van Gundy just casually starts to sit down. He slowly leav...
Rachel Nichols Breaks News Of Lenny Cooke's Death. (He Is Not Dead.)
Poor Lenny Cooke. The high-school-basketball-legend-turned-tragic-washout got a shout out on TNT's NBA broadcast last night when Rachel Nichols mentioned that Joakim Noah recently helped produce a documentary about Cooke's too-much-too-soon cautionary tale. Unfortunately for Cooke, Nichols teased t...
ESPN Writer Takes All-Expenses Paid Trip To Qatar, Loves Qatar
All those problems you thought Qatar's World Cup faced—indentured servitude, bribery allegations, unplayable heat, nonexistent infrastructure—it turns out they can all be made to go away with a stay in a nice hotel and a photo op with Alan Shearer. ...
This Wire Story Gives Not A Single Shit About North Koreans
The Associated Press just published a story about Dennis Rodman's latest endorsement venture and his untethered blather about what good buds he is with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Read the whole thing here, if you have two minutes for an extra-large helping of starry-eyed banality. Here are ...
Who Is John Allen, The Baseball Reporter Revealed As A Twitter Hoax?
Winter is baseball's silly season, filled with silly trade and free agent rumors even from reputable sources. But sometimes those sources are not-so-reputable. Sometimes they don't even exist. Like KCNBC's own John Allen....
Browns Prank T.J. Ward With Fake Rat In His Locker
And Phil Taylor caught the whole thing on camera and put the video on Instagram. Afterward, with his teammates laughing all around him, Ward did all there was left to do: He sheepishly rubbed his balls a lot....
Minneapolis Reporter, Live From Scene Of Ice Rink Opening, Faceplants
It's apparently getting cold in some places, or in the case of Minneapolis, it was already cold. Either way, the John Rose Minnesota skating oval is open over in Roseville, and KMSP reporter M.A. Rosko was on the scene this morning to test it out with her face. ...
How The <em>New York Post</em> Manufactured A Stupid Jets Controversy
Earlier today, we told you about the New York Post's stupid attempt to turn a completely non-controversial event—a Jets team trip to Dave & Buster's the day before their game against the Bills—into a controversy. That story, by columnist Mark Cannizzaro, was based in part on a quote from Buffalo def...
"Oh My God, He's Attacked Somebody!" Rob Ford Goes On Rampage
Toronto's City Council is meeting today to attempt a continued removal of mayor Rob Ford's powers, and it seems the plump crack pipe smoker isn't having any of it. We're not sure what led him to confront councillor Pam McConnell this way, but can you really say you never expected a CBC News anchor ...
Today In Unfortunate Newspaper Column Placement
Catherine Cleary is a restaurant columnist for the Irish Times. This is neither a classified ad nor an invitation....
Sign Of Man Having Sex With Cow Features In CBS Chicago Storm Coverage
Chicago CBS affiliate WBBM's coverage of the storms in Chicago that led to a delay of the Ravens-Bears game and Soldier Field being emptied included solicited viewer pictures of the storm, one of which has a sign warning drivers of impending man-cow copulation....
Eric Ward's One-Handed TD Catch Sparked Your Most Recent Gusgasm
We don't cover Gusgasms much these days, and we've sort of come around to editor emeritus's viewpoint about Fox's top college announcer. But when Gus Johnson goes overboard, we have an obligation to highlight it....
"Peanut Oil" Anchor Is Same Guy Who Apologized For "Chink In The Armor"
"ESPN apologizes for the incident and is taking steps to avoid it in the future." That was SportsCenter anchor Jorge Andrés last February, apologizing on behalf of ESPN for Max Bretos's use of "Chink in the armor" when discussing possible weaknesses in Jeremy Lin's game. Perhaps you recognize André...
ESPN Anchor Apologizes After "Lin Is Cooking With Peanut Oil" Joke
Remember when ESPN suspended Max Bretos for a month because he used a common colloquialism that, in the context of Jeremy Lin, seemed racist? Remember when media people saying racially obtuse things about Jeremy Lin was a thing? Lin's having a good game tonight against the Knicks, which means we'r...
If You Insult Al Trautwig On Twitter, He'll Call Your Mom
"Another new tv career is born. Spelled boron." With one hilarious-sounding typo of "Biron," as in the recently-retired Marty Biron, MSG host Al Trautwig welcomed a new analyst to the cable channel's Rangers broadcast. He also welcomed the Twitter trolls....
Joey Crawford Tried To Intimidate A Mop Boy
Someday, perhaps when he's retired and no longer patrolling NBA courts, Joey Crawford will probably calm the hell down and stop being such a dick. Today is not that day....