owns Page 201 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Peyton Hillis: Not A Great Tipper
We were sent the business half of this receipt, purporting to show Cleveland wunderwhite Peyton Hillis's sub-10% tip. The sender-inner will only say that this went down at a "nice" restaurant, but a $105 bill is pretty paltry compared to others we've seen. Maybe it's "Ohio nice."...

Serena Williams Cannot Really Recall That Line Judge Incident From "Like, Two Years Ago"
Remember that time at the 2009 U.S. Open, when Serena Williams told a line judge she was going to shove a tennis ball down her throat? Of course you do. Everyone remembers. Except for Serena....

Arian Foster Really Does Not Care About Your Fantasy Team
Foster, last season's rushing champion, tweaked his left hamstring in last night's 49ers-Texans preseason game. He hurt the same hamstring earlier in camp. He appreciates your concern about his semitendinosus, unless you are concerned simply because of your fantasy team....

Pete Rose Twitter Impostor Dupes Aaron Boone
If you don't believe that Twitter account @hit14king is actually Pete Rose, @hit14king defies you to "Call Aaron Boone and say what's up 513-226-7250 #reds #hatsoffcin #4192 its me people." ...

Youth Football Coach Gets Tased Three Times After Choking A Kid, Police Find A Lot Of Ammo In His Car
Here's how Corriher-Lipe Middle School head football coach Douglas Pruitt explains what happened between assistant coach Jared Gallagher and a 12-year-old player this week in Rowan County, N.C.:...

Bobby Valentine Has Left The People Of Stamford To Protect Themselves From Hurricane Irene
Bobby Valentine is public-safety director in the fine city of Stamford, Conn. Bobby Valentine is also an ESPN booth guy for MLB games. All of which is to say that Bobby Valentine will be commentating on the Angels/Rangers game in Arlington, Texas on Sunday night when Hurricane Irene stomps all over...

Pray For Darren Rovell And His Hair To Survive Hurricane Irene
Rovell, CNBC's business reporter, tweets like the battle-weary Marine that he isn't:...

Player Reacts To Getting Red Carded In Uruguay By Pimp-Slapping The Linesman
In a recent Uruguayan Primera Division match between the mighty Montevideo Wanderers and Danubio, Brazilian striker Diogo was issued a red card for kicking a foe, etc. Fair enough. However, Diogo apparently didn't take to kindly to somethingorother the "humble" linesman did, so Diogo give 'im a sm...

Here's Video Of MLB.com's Fantasy 411 Guys Coming To Grips With The Earthquake
Thanks to the chaps over at BroBible for sending this footage of MLB Network's Jeremy Brisiel, Cory Schwartz, and Mike Siano at the moment their studio started shaking Tuesday afternoon. Say they, "The look of doom and gloom on Cory Schwartz's face is a thing of beauty." And they're right. It is....

Things Are Going To Be A Little Different In Winnipeg When The Jets Resume NHL Play
The key to understanding what Rob Milette's true role with the Winnipeg Jets will be isn't in knowing the difference between rapists and athletic rapists....

It's Probably Not As "Record Breaking" To Hit Three Grand Slams In A Game If Strikes Are Called Balls
ESPN.com chose to lead its website with the Yankees 22-9 win over the A's this afternoon. Specifically, they highlighted the Yankees "record three slams in romp." This is noteworthy since it's the first such trifecta in MLB history. One for the ages....

<em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Decides That Michael Vick Is White Again (UPDATE)
OK. We give up. ESPN has murdered our mole and made Vick white again. Evidently, they are entitled to their own truths....

<em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Replaces White Michael Vick With Black Michael Vick
Yes, Michael Vick is black again. The weird white photo illustration has been replaced with the above shot. Commend yourselves, people of the blogs and Twitter. You've vanquished ESPN stupidity in record time....

Who Does <em>ESPN The Magazine</em>'s White Michael Vick Look Like, And Why Is He Here?
The weird photo illustration (AJ says he looks like Brian Austin Green; do you have other ideas?) accompanied a weird story from ESPN: The Mag's Vick issue. We are dumbfounded. ...

Rival Soccer Players Know To Expect That Newcastle United's Joey Barton "Will Come In Your Face"
If your tongue absolutely, positively must slip during a sports interview, why not sound as if you're talking sexually when, in fact, you're talking about a rival's tenacity on the English Premier League pitch? This is what happened to Fulham's Philippe Senderos when asked about Newcastle United's...

This Is The Bloodied Marine That LSU's Jordan Jefferson Allegedly Kicked In The Face
We were sent this image purporting to be of the good samaritan, returning from Marine Corps training, who rushed to break up a Baton Rouge bar fight and ended up getting pummeled by at least four LSU players. We've been unable to confirm—the cops have instituted a media blackout, to the extent that ...

Canadian Television Says Blue Jays (Now Diamondbacks) Utility Infielder John McDonald Hit 96 HR This Year
Ed note: he has not. Two, the number of homers McDonald has hit, is 94 fewer than 96. Thanks to Coreywise for the photo....

Bobby Valentine Has It In For Starlin Castro
Starlin Castro, the young, hopeful face of the Cubs franchise this season, pissed off Bobby Valentine in a game against the Cardinals last night, and nothing good came out of it—unless you have a general appreciation for seven-minute rants on five-second occurrences in the middle of your baseball ...

ESPN's Ian O'Connor Confuses His Job Duties With Eli Manning's
Did you hear what Plaxico Burress did at the Meadowlands last night? He did nothing. The ESPN.com caption this morning was "Plaxico Burress shines in his first game back in the NFL, scoring a touchdown against the Bengals on Sunday." This is a stupid lie, born of boredom and fraud: Burress's first g...

ESPN Is Airing This TV Commercial For Grantland
Huh. It's like Jim Jarmusch meets The Sting meets a Klondike bar....