parissaintgermain - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nobody Enjoyed PSG's Beatdown Of Manchester United More Than Ángel Di María
Manchester United hosted Paris Saint-Germain in the Champions League today. PSG winger Ángel Di María once enjoyed a brief and ignominious tenure at United. These two facts made for a predictably tetchy atmosphere at Old Trafford, with the United fans wanting to express their still simmering anger a...
Tearful Neymar Asks An Indifferent God For Better Bones
After breaking the fifth metatarsal in his right foot for the second consecutive year, Neymar would be well within his rights to retreat into the rich person’s equivalent of a dark bedroom with the curtains drawn—so, I don’t know, Dubai?...
Once Again, Neymar Might Be Fucked
For Neymar, the events of the past week must feel like an especially haunting instance of déjà vu. Once again, the Paris Saint-Germain superstar came up lame in the middle of a match after a not especially horrific clash. Once again, further tests revealed the injury to be worse than it first seemed...
Some Peon Tries To Hurt Neymar, Gets Humiliated By Neymar
About an hour into Paris Saint-Germain’s Coupe de France match against Strasbourg yesterday, Neymar was clowning on his inferiors with his imperial dribbling skills, as is his wont. Strasbourg midfielder Moataz Zemzemi must’ve taken Neymar’s casual demonstration of superiority personally, because he...
Hopefully We've Seen The Last Of Neymar's God-Awful Fake Dreadlocks
Elaborate hairstyles of both the well- and ill-advised variety have been a constant throughout Neymar’s career. And while we’ve enjoyed seeing his shift away from the perms he once constantly rocked in favor of more natural, kinky looks in recent years, we hope to God that yesterday’s debut of his a...
French Police Investigate Whether PSG's Champions League Blowout Of Red Star Was Fixed
French newspaper L’Équipe has a report today that says the recent Champions League match between Paris Saint-Germain and Red Star Belgrade is currently being investigated by UEFA and the French authorities for possibly being fixed....
Liverpool Righteously Owned PSG In A Champions League Classic
The first classic match of the new Champions League season came on the first day of the competition. Liverpool-PSG had everything: superstar forwards on both sides of the ball, anarchic attacks flying up and down the pitch, several goals, a wounded dick, and, maybe most importantly, a heart-stopping...
Javier Pastore Escaped His Gilded Cage And Is Back Doing Crazy Shit On The Field
If you were to name a poster boy for the phenomenon of promising young talents who join the game’s richest clubs only to find themselves spending more time watching soccer than playing it, Javier Pastore would be a perfectly credible choice. Now, after finally deciding to step out from the bejeweled...
Edinson Cavani Misses Can't-Miss Goal, Proving That He's Still Edinson Cavani
If you missed the old Cavani, miss easy goals Cavani, “he always chokes” Cavani, “he should be sold” Cavani, then you’re in for a treat: In today’s Ligue 1 match between PSG and Saint-Étienne, Cavani reminded us all that somewhere deep down inside him, behind the steady stream of goals and renewed c...
Real Madrid Didn't Even Need Their Stars To Beat PSG
In the photo above, Cristiano Ronaldo can be seen sort of air-humping Casemiro in celebration of the Brazilian midfielder’s just-scored goal. Ronaldo’s exuberance was probably most aroused by the fact that his teammate’s goal gave Real Madrid a commanding position in what wound up being a comfortabl...
Neymar Might Be Fucked
Neymar went down in a heap in the latter stages of PSG’s big 3-0 rivalry victory over Marseille on Sunday. Neymar going down didn’t appear to be anything out of the ordinary, and the non-contact incident that brought him to the grass—a rolled right ankle—didn’t look all that bad on replay. Neymar’s ...
Clown-Ass PSG Embarrassed In Europe Yet Again Thanks To Cristiano Ronaldo
Just like last year, Paris Saint-Germain came into a big Champions League tie against one of the giants of Spain excited and confident. Also like last year, they dominated for long stretches of the match and probably should’ve won. Unfortunately, just like last year, they blew it in humiliating fash...