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![PSG Players David Luiz And Edinson Cavani Are Worried About Going Back To Paris After Terrorist Attacks [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1521675991009884741.jpg)
PSG Players David Luiz And Edinson Cavani Are Worried About Going Back To Paris After Terrorist Attacks [Updated]
For many players on the French capitol’s flagship soccer team, Paris Saint-Germain, last week’s terrorist attacks were viewed from afar, as they were off on international duty elsewhere. Now that it’s nearing time to return, at least two players have publicly expressed their wariness....
Chinese Commentator Fired For Snoring In Middle Of Champions League Game
The deep and hearty snores you hear are from Chinese commentator Dong Lu during this week’s Real Madrid-PSG Champions League match, and he’s not taking a sly jab at the quality of play. Apparently, Dong really did fall asleep during the game, and his network fired him for it....
French Media Calls In Body Language Expert To Divine Ronaldo's Secret Intentions
Every couple years, the European media works itself into a bubbly froth about Cristiano Ronaldo’s future. We’re now in the thick of yet another foamy period, and perhaps because his departure might actually be imminent this time, the papers are going to absurd lengths to search for clues....
Fallen Striker Edinson Cavani Spasms His Way Out Of A Goal
Edinson Cavani was once one of Europe’s most fearsome strikers, coveted the world over thanks to his domination of Serie A for Napoli. He had it all: a long, lanky frame to nod in goals with his forehead, a loping stride that sped him around the pitch and onto through balls much quicker than you’d e...
Zlatan Books Entire Town Square So Fans Can Watch Him Beat Down On His Old Team
Soccer has taken Zlatan Ibrahimović (or is it the other way around?) all around the world. From Paris to Barcelona to Turin to Milan and beyond, Zlatan came, saw, and conquered many of Europe’s greatest cities. Now he’s back where it all started, and he’s making sure the whole city gets a view of T...
Man, Soccer Dudes (Zlatan Excluded) Really Suck At Basketball
I’d understand the sheer ineptitude on display here and the failure to even appear to know what that silly American sport is supposed to look like if we were talking football, but PSG’s players can’t even mimic basketball right? These dudes are out here celebrating lay ups as if they were windmill d...
PSG Overcome Controversial Red Card, Boot Chelsea From Champions League
Schalke's nearly-heroic comeback yesterday put everyone on upset alert, and on cue, Paris Saint-Germain went and made good on its own upset bid with today's 2-2 draw against Chelsea, knocking the English club out of the Champions league. Despite a questionable red card on Zlatan Ibrahimović early ...
Three Defenders Combine For Game's Nicest Move To Put Chelsea Up On PSG
After a cagey start to today's Champions League headliner—Paris Saint-Germain vs. Chelsea—the Londoners dusted off some of the silky skills they've shown all season. One Blues player collected the ball out wide, sent a peach of a cross into the box, where a teammate deftly flipped it over the defens...
Zlatan Does Not Like Question, So Zlatan Melts Journalist With His Eyes
As we've seen, for even the smallest of perceived slights, Zlatan Ibrahimović has the power to liquefy his enemies with a mere look or gesture. This journalist is his latest victim, and he managed only one even-spoken question before Zlatan's response turned him into a stammering schoolboy....
This Paris Saint-Germain Goal Will Make You Want To Have Sex With It
Paris Saint-Germain are playing Stade Rennais right now. They're up 1-0 because they scored a goal that is pornographic in nature and should be only watched at home, in bed, with lotion close at hand, and Poliça playing softly through your computer's speakers. Here is that goal:...
Zlatan Ibrahimović Doesn't Even Know Who You Are, Bro
And that look on his face says "c'mon, you know who I am, buddy."...
Neymar Belter From Distance Puts Barcelona Up 2-1 On PSG
Barcelona decided to break out a completely new formation for today's crucial Champions League match against Paris Saint-Germain. It was a sensible but risky choice, since the club has the parts to play three at the back but hadn't yet proved it could come together. Well, when Neymar struts through ...
Paris Saint-Germain Are Bullshit
We can't keep letting PSG do this. Yesterday, the French giants took on Cyprian giants/world ants APOEL in Champions League play. This was a match even schizophrenic PSG couldn't muck up, right? No. Instead of a dominating performance on a day full of them, we saw another typically lackadaisical dis...
PSG Is Threatening To Buy Lionel Messi. Wait. That Can't Happen, Right?
Soccer's the best. One of the reasons it's the best is that there are lots of leagues all over the world with lots of teams within them, and they all come together twice a year during the transfer windows to form one huge clusterfuck. Some of the richest clubs are owned by actual princes and/or oil ...
What Edinson Cavani's Move To PSG Means For European Soccer
Earlier this week, French champions Paris Saint-Germain bought Uruguayan forward Edinson Cavani from Italian side Napoli for a reported €64 million ($84 million). It's the fifth-highest transfer fee ever. What's also worth noting is that Cavani went for more than both Radamel Falcao's transfer to AS...
Watch David Beckham Leave The Field For The Last Time In His Career
David Beckham played in the last game of his career today after announcing his retirement from soccer last week. He started and was given the captain's armband for his club, Paris Saint-Germain, in their last home match of the season against last-place Brest....
PSG's Championship Parade Ended In Riots
Paris Saint-Germain celebrated their first Ligue 1 title in nearly two decades with a parade through the city. It concluded with the customary tear gas....
A Mad Genius Zlatan Ibrahimovic Fan Bought His Favorite Player's Domain Name, Will Give It Back If He Completes One Of Twelve Challenges
Paris Saint-Germain acquired the services of Zlatan Ibrahimovic from AC Milan over the summer, and since his old team confirmed that he'd be heading to the Paris club, "Ibrahimovic," reports UK's Metro, has been "rumoured to be looking to strengthen his marketing ties in France." That could conceiva...