pe Page 1087 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Despite Snub, Cam Newton Still Loves His Dad
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

CBS Football Experts Were 3-61 In Pick'em Last Week
Marino. Esiason. Sharpe. Cowher. Football legends all. They managed to compile a mathematically improbable record picking games last week. I think Paul the Octopus could do better, and he's dead. [CBS Sports, h/t Nathan] UPDATE:...

Fuck You, Charlie Brown
I showed my kid the Charlie Brown Christmas special the other day and she was depressed for the rest of the week. Why are we still subjecting kids to this awful shit?...

Gingerbread Peyton Manning Has Reese's Cup Football, Frosting Dong
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Antoine Walker Airballs Free Throw, Nails Metaphor In D-League Debut
Flat broke, Walker signed a low-5-figure deal with the Idaho Stampede. He scored 13 in his debut last night, but we think this shot is a more appropriate highlight. [h/t Dan]...

Pete Rose: Joe DiMaggio Was "A Penis With A Man Hanging From It."
Pete Rose went on sports talk radio this morning to chat about showering with Joe D. He says it was quite an eye-opening experience. Not according to what we've seen. (NSFW version here) [Sports Radio Interviews]...

Searching For...Peerless Price
An attorney by the name of W. Anthony Collins has called on the I-Team to help locate the former Vols/Bills/Falcons/Seahawks/Cowboys wide receiver. He's vanished, you see....

Joe Posnanski Is The Salt Of The Earth, Peter King Is A Leech
Last Wednesday, a storm hit the Northeast. Two esteemed sports writers were stranded in different cities, but absolutely had to get to their destinations. These are their stories....

Albert Haynesworth: Barhopping Thursday, Late For Practice Friday, Suspended For Season Today
The photo here and email below is from a reader in the D.C. area who ran into the Redskins' headache-inducing defensive lineman Thursday at the American Tap Room. Remember, Haynesworth was benched for arriving one minute late to practice Friday morning....

Peter King Moves The Goalposts On The NFL's Favre Investigation
"[W]hat seems logical to me," Peter King thinks he thinks, "is the league was not able to connect the sordid cell-phone photos from Favre to Sterger beyond the shadow of a doubt." The NFL leads the league in evidentiary burden!...

The Dougie Is Dead, And Drew Stanton Killed It
After a long illness, The Dougie passed away at 1:40 yesterday afternoon. Drew Stanton was by its side. In lieu of flowers, please send ideas for a new novelty dance....

Wisconsin Student Paper Names, Shames Students Re-Selling Rose Bowl Tickets
The Badger Herald is pissed off, and taking names. Well, listing names. The names of UW students who snapped up coveted Rose Bowl tickets, and are attempting to scalp them. As strong proponents of public shaming, we stand with you, Badger Herald....

The Florida Gators Make Themselves Easier To Hate With Each Passing Day
The only thing that warrants a chomp is the throat of whichever "creative team" member thought, "For that Shands at University of Florida contest, let's do something like 'Scrubs,' but with total mascot spirit! People will love it!"...

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
In anticipation of the Steelers visiting the Ravens this evening, someone in Baltimore gallantly took the extra step of emblazoning an Inner Harbor roadwork sign with an anti-rape mantra. Good stuff. This'll be ugly tonight....

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Yet again, a weak slate of games. So, here are four somewhat-relevant questions for amusement purposes only......

Your College Football Late Games Open Thread
That excitement you feel in the air wherever it is you are is the ACC Championship game between No. 21 Florida State and No. 15 Virginia Tech and the Big 12 Championship between No. 9 Oklahoma and No. 13 Nebraska....

Your Duke/Butler And Other College Basketball Games Open Thread
Butler gets a rematch with Duke. Any person with a shred of dignity wants Duke to lose. On the court (which they most certainly won't today) and in every facet of life. Fact....

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
With only 16 Division 1-A games on the slate, only two open threads are needed today. This one's for contests like BCS-deciding Oregon at Oregon State, SEC title game between Auburn vs. South Carolina and Rutgers at West Virginia....

There Was A Damn Good Ending To A Football Game That Damn Near Nobody Watched
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dan Gilbert Is Going To Boil Someone's Bunny
Per Adrian Wojnarowski, recording secretary of the LeBron Jersey-Burning and Chowder Society: The Cavs "have poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into a high-powered Midwestern law firm" to investigate whether the Heat broke tampering rules while pursuing LeBron James. [Yahoo!]...