pe Page 1114 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Go Read This Story About The Torment Of Sportswriter Mike Penner As Soon As Possible
Christopher Goffard of the LA Times appears to have pulled together the most honest account of the final years of former sportswriter Mike Penner's haunted life were like when he struggled to find his identity as Christine Daniels....
Steve Nash And Robin Lopez Star In <em>Balls Talk</em>
File this one under "Time, Too Much." The secret behind Steve Nash's control over the Suns is revealed to be your everyday psycho-sexual intimidation. H/T reader DH....
Toni Kukoc And Derek Fisher Have Giant Penises, John Salley Says
Courtesy of John Salley, we're told that the NBA's most famous Croatian export is super-hung for a white boy and that Fisher is "six feet tall with a seven foot dick." Gentlemen, welcome to the geoduck club. [SpiderandtheHenchman]...
Philadelphia's MLS Team Plays Dirty, Like A Philly Team Should
Well, the Philadelphia Union exist now. And if one game is a large enough sample size, they're going to be every bit as physical as the city has come to expect from its teams....
I Guess They'll Let Anyone Go There Now: Your 9:30ish Open Thread
It's the rich kids vs. the (shhh) rich kids, i.e. Cornell-Kentucky. The Pride of Cincinnati vs. The Other Manhattan, i.e. Xavier-Kansas State. Will Ashley Judd be seen again, or can Cornell win one for a fictional character?...
Appalachia! F-Yeah! Your 7ish Open Thread
Butler takes on Syracuse (in Salt Lake City), and Washington takes on West Virginia (in Syracuse). Will the Big East's reputation be saved tonight, or will it be taunted and booed until throats are sore?...
A Cheerleader-Eaten-By-A-Mascot Blast From The Past
Last time we checked in, we thought we were dealing with a new phenomenon. Footage unearthed today by reader Art, however, explicitly shows an '80s-era cheerleader being devoured by a mascot on something called Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters....
Autistic Kid's Perfect NCAA Bracket Can Easily Be Faked
No one is calling 17-year-old Alex Hermann a liar, but CBS Sports' "Bracket Manager" does make it impossible to verify that he correctly called all 48 NCAA tournament winners—and also makes it easy to forge a perfect score....
Swiperboy And Bruce Pearl's Son Make Tennessee Most Entertaining (Or Infuriating) Sweet 16 Team
Looking for a bandwagon NCAA team now that yours has been eliminated? How about Tennessee? At the very least, their smooth rhymes and maddening nepotism will give you something talk about at the water cooler....
Vinnie Jones And Becksie To Remake Classic Football Movie!
For those who haven't seen the 1981 football masterpiece, Escape To Victory, you're really missing out on something quite special....
"It Wasn't Death. It Was The Ghost Of Dale Earnhardt, And He Was Smoking A Marlboro Red."
SBNation's Spencer Hall, America's Tackling Dummy, raced six terrifying laps at Talladega and realized the competitors who do this for a living are "Completely. Barking. Mad." Carve out some time to read it all. You won't be disappointed. [SBNation]...
Book Excerpt: "Confessions Of A Washed-Up Sportswriter," From <em>Rules Of The Game</em>
Today's excerpt comes from a 1968 essay by Gary Cartwright, anthologized in Harper's Magazine's new sportswriting anthology, Rules of the Game, which we highly recommend....
Big 12, Big East, A-10 Vie For Most Disappointing Tourney Conference: Your 5:00ish Games Open Thread
Xavier-Pitt, Texas A&M-Purdue, and Cal-Duke close out the weekend. By the end of the late afternoon slate, our Sweet 16 will be set. Well, not "ours." Mine included Kansas and 'Nova. Keep up in the comments....
Badger Badger Badger: Your 2:30ish Games Open Thread (VIDEO UPDATE)
GaTech-OSU, MSU-Maryland, Mizzou-West Virginia, and Cornell-Wisconsin tangle in the early afternoon slate. On pep rally photos alone, the smart money is with Wisconsin. (H/T to BoRyansBaldSpot for the photo)...
Canine Vs. Citrus: Your Gonzaga-Syracuse Open Thread
A sole early game again, as 'Cuse tries to avoid getting Jayhawked, and Gonzaga tests our patience with its "Cinderella" label for the 20th consecutive year. Follow along in the comments, won't you?...
Let's Listen In As The Crazy People Talk About Obama's NCAA Bracket
"'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.' If that is your mantra, why would you watch college basketball. ... Obama should only watch sports where they do not keep score. Socialists are hipocrits." [Free Republic]...
Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape
Here's the video of Seton Hall's Herb Pope doing to Texas Tech's Darko Cohadarevic what a thousand youth baseball bats have done to two thousand youth-coach testicles. [YouTube, via TBL]...
Even NCAA Sanctions Are Harsher Than Final Four Scalping Laws
Scalpers won't be able to re-sell Final Four tickets outside Lucas Oil Stadium...unless they pay $20 for a license. Hey, Indianapolis has to do something to lure business back to town. [Indy Star]...
DePaul Coach Search Reaches New Low
DePaul, basketball head coachless since January 11, has posted the opening on the university's careers website. Can you say, "Quentin Richardson is not walking through that door?" You're qualified. [Tremendous Upside Potential]...
Maria Sharapova Or Nicole Vaidisova Would Like To Help You With Your Small Penis
Copyranter found another "penis embiggening" web ad that (without her permission, most likely) uses the other blondtennis star RussianCzech tennis player to sell its magic girth pills. [Update: Fixed.][Copyranter]...