pe Page 1116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Scott Van Pelt: "Fuck I Gotta..."
Two nights ago, after being pranked by Howard Stern's crony, Van Pelt said "Hi, YouTube." Well, hi again. This time, fleeting internet fame is his because he let an f-bomb fly as SportsCenter headed to commercial....

Here's An Email I Sent To Jason Whitlock That Apparently Makes Me Look Crazy
Next time, I'll type slower and send it from my iPhone. [TheSportsHernia]...

This Would Never Have Happened If We Still Had Beepers
Patrick Beckert was an alternate for the 1000m, so when one skater went down injured, it might as well have been glory calling. But he didn't answer, because his cell phone was turned off. [Bild]...

Exciting Development In The Abridgement Of Athletes' Rights: Blood Testing For HGH!
MLB plans to implement blood testing for HGH in the minors, and the NFL wants to start drawing blood, too, and somehow this is being framed as an exciting development instead of yet more tilting and yet another windmill....

A Delightful Video Of The Europa League Soccer Riot Where A Bilbao Fan Urinates On People
Number of places off the top of my head where I've seen rival fans get peed on: Vet Stadium and...hmm. Okay, that's it. [ESPN]...

Why Won't NBC Follow Its Own Advice On Live Broadcasts?
Don't read this post if you plan to watch the USA-Switzerland game at a time that is not when it's happening, which is now. Unless you want to stand around the Big Internet Twitter Cooler that all the kids love....

I Do Not Believe Hillary Duff Is Actually Giving Mike Comrie A Blowjob In This Photo
But it looks like she is. Comrie reportedly spent $1 million on Duff's ring. He did not go to Jared. [BarstoolSports, Jr. and Bauer Griffin]...

Howard Stern Prank Caller Fools ESPN
SportsCenter was so thrilled to get "Brian Westbrook" on the phone, they skipped a very important step: making sure it was actually Westbrook, and not a Stern disciple expressing his desire to worship Stern's prostate....

Kornheiser Gets Two-Week Suspension For On-Air Comments, And Other Things Of Note
ESPN's John Skipper responded to the suspension of Tony Kornheiser, but there's more to the story than the press release shipped out of Bristol. Observe....

ESPN's Tony Kornheiser Suspension — More About Chris Berman?
As The Big Lead reported, Tony Kornheiser received a short suspension for his comments made last week about Hannah Storm's wardrobe. But there were other remarks made that day that really irked his royal Norbyness....

DDate.com - The Leading Douchebag Singles Network
Now, remind me again, which aspect of this ad for a dating website was supposed to entice women? Was it the sideways pseudo-gang sign? The fact that he's at Cowboys Stadium, so clearly a fan? Or the t-shirt insinuating rape?...

The One With The Naked Danish Curling Lady
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Gary Coleman Would Not Like To Apologize For His Actions
In other scandal-ridden relationship news, Gary Coleman overcompensates for his short stature by telling "The Insider" round table to promptly go fuck themselves....

Tailpipe: "Let's Go For The Pole Today"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Tiger Woods Press Conference: Open Thread
Give your witticisms a workout as Tiger reads from a script pulled from the sex addiction handbook. In case you're not near a television, watch it here....

Tiger Woods Will Apologize, Explain Himself On Friday To Friends And "Pool Of Reporters"
11 a.m. at PGA Tour headquarters. That's when Woods will re-emerge in public for the first time, according to Bloomberg....

Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bronze
You know how athletes' repetitive actions eventually become muscle memory? It's like that for Daniela Anschütz-Thoms and that dejected, hunched-over pose. You see, Daniela has a nasty habit of coming in fourth....

Lindsey Jacobellis DQ'd, And Other Things You Already Know But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
People without access to the internet or cable television or the outside world in general don't know it yet, but snowboarder Lindsey Jacobellis drifted off course today and lost her chance at what Tom Brokaw couldn't wait to call "redemption."...

The Deadspin Mailbag: Now Twice A Week
A bit of news before we get to the letters today. First off, I'm rechristening the Deadspin mailbag the Deadspin Funbag. It makes sense for what we do here. Secondly, you don't want funbags unless they come in pairs. That goes without saying. So I'm expanding the mailbag to twice a week. Not splitti...

Your Olympics Tape-Delayapalooza Open Thread
Topics for discussion: figure skating, Rick Reilly's Canada jokes, Bruce Arthur's response, snowboarding, speedskating, Lindsey Vonn's shin (and the Jarlsberg she wraps it in), and the men's downhill finals, in which latter event I like Bode Miller's shot at bronze....