pe Page 1174 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ronaldo Plays The Crying Game
In soccer there is only one thing more humiliating than an own goal; it's when you pick up three prostitutes and later discover that they're all transvestites. (I can see you nodding in agreement). Poor Ronaldo. Not only did he receive "the Brazilian Surprise," but then when he tried to bribe the fa...

Support Competitive Eating As An Olympic Sport!
We know, we know: None of you care about competitive eating as much as we do. That still doesn't make this plea to make competitive eating an Olympic sport any less inspired....

About Last Night...
What you missed while buying Pierre the penguin a new sports car......

March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...

About Last Night...
What you missed while mixing your sports metaphors......

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins
Deadspin's NHL Conference Semifinal Previews come courtesy of Melt Your Face-Off. Over at MYFO, Sunday service starts tonight, and holding back when the collection plate comes around earns you a two-minute seat in the penalty pew. In the meantime, Hextall454 brings you the righteous preview of the N...

Finally, A Pro Baseball Team With Glow-In-The-Dark Caps
How many times have you asked yourself, 'Why can't I see my favorite baseball cap logo when the lights are out?' (If you're like me, plenty). Well, if your favorite team is the Casper Ghosts of the Pioneer Rookie League, then you don't have that problem. This season the Ghosts (formerly the Casper R...

Look Deep Into The Gullet Of Joey Chestnut
Actually, he shares the blog with fellow competitive eater Pat Bertoletti, and in the above video, he shows off his training regimen. Yes: He fires himself for eating asparagus by listening to Rob Zombie. Who wouldn't?...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

ESPN Upgrades Its Spelling Bee Coverage
Hate to ruin your day, but Mike & Mike are out as hosts of the Scripps National Spelling Bee coverage on ESPN and ABC in May. Taking their place will be the perky Tom Bergeron — whose work on America's Funniest Home Videos was once again overlooked by the Nobel Committee — and a very special sideli...

Terry Pettis And The Infinite Madness
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...

Media Approval Ratings: Mel Kiper
It's the one time of the year when we all pay attention to Mel Kiper Jr. — we never know if we're supposed to include the "Junior" or not — so we might as well feature him today before everyone forgets about him again....

Yankee Stadium:Ground Zero For All Things Pope-Y
As many of you know, Pope Benedict the Magnificent XI was in New York on Sunday to celebrate mass at Yankee Stadium with 57,000 Bronx old ladies carrying plastic rosary beads. It went well, as all who attended were happy and blessed and there were no assasination attempts or extremely violent protes...

Deadspin Vs. Cat Lady. Let's Watch The Fun
It seems that Deadspin readers have been naughty once again. On Friday many of you infiltrated The Animal Advocate blog comments section, and hilarity, as they say, ensued. But like most parties around here, things may have gone a little too far. Iracane has been notified and a full investigation is...

About Last Night...
What you missed while questioning Abe Lincoln's patriotism... • MLB: Tuckered out from 22 innings the night before, Rockies beat Astros 11-5 in their sleep. Or Houston's sleep. Either way. • NHL: Franzen comes alive in overtime with winning goal; Wings beat Predators 2-1. • NBA: Oklahoma 28, Seattle...

Pope Benedict XVI Needs To Borrow Your Cup
Close observers of the Catholic religion know that the Pope will always come up throwing after a diving catch; unless it's the final out of an inning, of course. In that case, His Most Holy Father will make sure that the umpire sees the ball in his mitt. Another Papal web gem! I can't count the numb...

Spend An Expensive Evening With Joe Buck And His Lame Friends
Super-popular sports talking head Joe Buck is known for his baseball announcing, his self-effacing beer commercials, his disgust of pantomimed mooning, and for his affable Midwestern charm....

KSK Blogger Disgraces Washington Post's Pristine Image
The young man in this picture, enjoying himself with the Pittsburgh Parrot, is Michael Tunison. He has two lives. In one, he is Michael Tunison, reporter for The Washington Post. In the other, he is Christmas Ape, one of the crew at Kissing Suzy Kolber and a weekend editor at this here site. Earlier...

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...

The Pope Should Wipe His Feet Before Entering Yankee Stadium
The Pope turns 81 years old today — 10 years older than John McCain, and just three years older than Julio Franco — and he's celebrating it in Washington, D.C. with President Bush. (What better way?) He will be celebrating mass at the new Nationals Stadium, which means we're going to assume Elijah D...