pe Page 704 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Make The Hottest Salsa And Send Our Pampered Asses Straight To Hell
When I was a kid, I once visited a small retail shop in South Carolina that was stocked with nothing but hot sauces. This was the most fascinating place on earth. All the labels on all the hot sauces offered various brags about their spiciness, as if what they had to sell was not the joy of eating o...
<i>Columbus Dispatch</i> Scraps Plan To Distribute Crying Sidney Crosby Masks
The Columbus Dispatch has announced that they’ll no longer be distributing crying Sidney Crosby masks in this Sunday’s edition of the paper....
Report: Cristiano Ronaldo Paid $375K To Woman Who Claimed He Raped Her
German news magazine Der Spiegel released a report yesterday saying that Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo reached a $375,000 settlement in 2010 with a woman who alleged he raped her in a Las Vegas hotel. Gestifute, the sports agency that represents Ronaldo, later released a statement calling the r...
Berlusconi's Long Reign As AC Milan Owner Ends As China Expands Its Global Soccer Reach<em></em><em></em>
Nearly a year after the sale of storied soccer club AC Milan was first announced, and eight months after the purchase agreement was signed, a holding company controlled by former Italian Prime Minister and gross, criminal, proto-Trump Silvio Berlusconi finalized a deal with Chinese investors, repres...
HB2 Is Over, But The North Carolina Legislature Continues To March Backwards<em></em>
Since the start of the year, members of the North Carolina House have caused several small public-relations crises by way of historically inaccurate and bigoted Facebook posts, which pair nicely with a swath of proposed bills that would grant the state the right to secede, outlaw gay marriage, block...
Suddenly, Fleury
Unexpected goalies have a history in Pittsburgh. They probably don’t get that first Cup back in ‘91 if Frank Pietrangelo hadn’t stepped in for an injured Tom Barasso and robbed Peter Stastny. Johan Hedberg was a career minor leaguer before leading the Penguins to the conference finals in 2001 and be...
Didier Drogba Does Retired Person Thing, Moves To Arizona
Former Chelsea legend Didier Drogba has been making the seemingly requisite rounds on the European star retirement circuit for a few years now. In 2012, he signed with Chinese Super League club Shanghai Shenhua; in 2013, still an able contributor, he joined Galatasaray for a spell; he returned to Ch...
Is Your Pee Clear Enough For Tom Herman?
If you take nothing else from your media consumption today, let it be this: You are probably not drinking enough water. Proper hydration is key to a whole host of benefits, including better digestion, more energy, better skin and hair, better circulation, and sharper faculties. Are you drinking wate...
The Tanking Lakers Made Metta World Peace Shoot A Ton Of Threes But They Still Won Anyway
Despite their best efforts, the Los Angeles Lakers can’t stop winning games. They entered tonight’s game against the Pelicans on a four-game winning streak, and they extended it to five with a 108-96 victory. They absolutely did not want to beat the Pelicans, as the win put them out of reach of the ...
Yoenis Cespedes Laid A Historic Whooping On The Phillies
Golf enthusiast Yoenis Cespedes has the great fortune of playing against Phillies pitching this week and he made the most of it tonight. Clay Buchholz started for Philly this evening and his troubles began immediately, as Cespedes crushed a bambinazo to bring in three runs before the Phillies had ev...
Barcelona Are In Trouble Yet Again After Getting Destroyed By Paulo Dybala And Juventus<em></em>
Led by Paulo Dybala’s brilliant first-half brace, Juventus crushed Barcelona 3-0 in the first leg of the Champions League quarterfinal in Turin. Fresh off a wild comeback against Paris Saint Germain, the Catalan side will now have to clamber out of yet another steep goal deficit if they want to move...
<i>SI</i> Uncovers The Brady Jersey Thief’s Ebay Feedback Page
Robert Klemko and Jenny Vrentas have a deep dive today on the Tom Brady Super Bowl jersey theft—it’s even part of Sports Illustrated’s “True Crime” series —and it’s an interesting look at the complicated steps law enforcement had to take in order to retrieve the Super Bowl LI jersey. Cops recovered ...
Show Us The Pets
Hello. The internet says that today is National Pet Day, the day for pets. Bring forth the pets!...
Here Is A Baseball Video I Love And I Think You Will Love It Too
Youtube served this up to me today as a “recommended” video, and Youtube’s algorithm knows me better than I know myself. ...
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Giuseppe Rossi, America's Lost Star, Touches The Sky And Falls Back To Earth, Again
There are two times American fans of European soccer are reminded of Giuseppe Rossi, boundlessly talented yet heartbreakingly star-crossed striker and The One That Got Away. One reason is good and the other one is bad, and both prompts were recently triggered in the span of a single, exultant-turned...
Carlos Fierro Takes Advantage Of Puebla Keeper's Huge Boner To Score Injury-Time Winner<em></em>
In stoppage time today, Puebla goalkeeper Cristian Campestrini failed to realize that Guadalajara striker Carlos Fierro was right behind him, and the result was a manic scramble and ultimately a goal-allowing boner:...
Let's Make A Whole Pile Of Warm, Buttery Apple Fritters
This is a true apple fritter story—the tale of one man’s tortured relationship with apple fritters and how they saved his life, ruined his diet, and in the end probably shortened his life. ...
Louisville Player Says Bobby Petrino's Trying To Control Where He Transfers
Louisville cornerback Shaq Wiggins is seeking a graduate transfer elsewhere for the 2017-18 season. Wiggins will be eligible to play for his new team immediately, since NCAA rules don’t force graduate transfers to sit out a year. However, head coach Bobby Petrino seems to be trying to restrict the o...
Proud Hockey Grandpa Cries, Shovels Popcorn
Last week, the Colorado Avalanche signed their 2016 10th-overall pick Tyson Jost, a forward who spent the season at the University of North Dakota. Last night, in his fourth game, Jost scored his first career NHL goal against Minnesota....