politics Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kane Is Back In The Mix In WWE...While Running For Mayor At Home
Tuesday’s edition of WWE SmackDown Live ended with something of a surprise. Daniel Bryan was being beaten down by The Bludgeon Brothers when Kane, his former tag team partner, returned to help him out. The day was saved, fans celebrated, and it all felt so familiar that it was easy to miss how weird...
Civility Is For Losers
It’s not that there aren’t sports happening. Sports are happening, for sure. The latest chapter in the epic Panama/Tunisia rivalry will be written later today in the World Cup, MLB’s regular season is wheezing grandly into the early part of its Boring And Insignificant portion, and NBA weirdos are g...
Mike Leach Is Extremely Normal
Mike Leach is not mad, but mostly he is not crazy. He’s your average Fox News viewer, mostly, but also famous and rich and the best-paid public employee in the state of Washington....
Report: EPA Head Scott Pruitt Used His Position To Get 50-Yard-Line Seats For The Rose Bowl
I find myself more impressed than anything by EPA head Scott Pruitt’s venality. Sure, the man is corrupt. But he’s corrupt in ways no one had ever even conceived of before! The man’s unflagging creativity in graft is inspiring, in its gross way, and his drive is something to behold. For the rest of ...
Bitchin' Politician Just Blasts Himself Right In The Eyeballs With Pepper Spray!
Levi Tillemann is a Democrat running for Congress in Colorado’s sixth congressional district, and he wants you to know he is a leader who will work to “break through the partisan gridlock” and honestly I missed most of the rest of it because holy shit the guy just unloads a fucking quart of pepper s...
Trump Thinking "Very Seriously" About Pardoning Muhammad Ali, Who Has No Criminal Record
Muhammad Ali’s career in the ring came to a standstill in 1967 upon the late boxer’s conviction for avoiding the Vietnam Draft by declaring himself a conscientious objector. Four years later, the U.S. Supreme Court reversed that conviction by a unanimous vote; 47 years later, Donald Trump is suggest...
There Is No Evidence Whatsoever That ESPN Is Losing Subscribers Due To Its "Politics"
The Wall Street Journal went deep on money problems in Bristol today in an article titled “How a Weakened ESPN Became Consumed by Politics.” The feature, like many others that have come before, presents as a fact that the Worldwide Leader is hemorrhaging subscribers due to a perceived shift to the ...
Report: Trump-Signed Alabama Football Caused White House Drama, And Now Nobody Knows Where It Is
In a performance that had many praising its avant-garde catchphrase stylings, President Trump welcomed the national champion Alabama Crimson Tide football team to the White House last month and proceeded to speak for approximately three hours about, I assume, how he’s actually glad he didn’t win the...
Trump Forms Sports Council Featuring Bill Belichick, Lou Ferrigno, And Dr. Oz, For Some Reason
Sports genius Donald Trump has done the inevitable, again. This time, the big lad has put his close personal friend Bill Belichick on an official Presidential council. Shockingly, Belichick will not be in charge of any nuclear weaponry or an actual department of significance, which honestly would ha...
Report: Donald Trump Spent Quality Time Last Week Talking Football With Bill Belichick
In 1993, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen found time between Full House episodes to record an album called I Am the Cute One. Songs include “I Am a Kid,” “I Love to Scream,” and “No One Tells the President What to Do.” The last of those is a celebration of the truth of its title—the president can do whate...
Canadian Senator Gives Official Speech About How Americans Are Ruining Hockey Broadcasts
Canadian Senator David Adams Richards, a relative newbie in the upper house, took the time on Tuesday to give an official, on-the-record speech to his colleagues featuring a pretty spicy sports take: American announcers are ruining hockey....
You Can't Bully These Motherfuckers
When I write that CNN politics writer Chris Cillizza is the rankest assbrain in the Western Hemisphere, I am not being nice to him. When I write that God clowned Chris Cillizza before he was born by making him Chris Cillizza instead of a shit-eating maggot, I am being unkind. When I say that Chris C...
Annoyingly Coy Report: Eagles Owner Jeffrey Lurie Called Donald Trump's Presidency "Disastrous"
Buried near the end of this New York Times article about the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles talking to the White House about planning a visit is a tidbit about team owner Jeffrey Lurie “using a vulgarity” to call Donald Trump’s presidency “disastrous.” That quote seems like it’d be more imp...
<i>The Atlantic </i>Fires Opinion Writer For Opinions He Held When They Hired Him To Write His Opinions For <i>The Atlantic</i>
Does it qualify as a Milkshake Duck if they knew the duck was racist to begin with? What the hell has even happened here?...
Windswept Honey Bun Boards Presidential Aircraft
President Donald Trump’s workday on Thursday included two actual things. That day officially began at 11 a.m., per his public schedule, when Trump received his daily intelligence briefing. There’s no telling how long this takes, as Trump famously likes his briefings short and colorful and chart-base...
The Cruel Bill Allowing MLB To Keep Screwing Over Minor-Leaguers Is Now Law
President Donald Trump signed the $1.3 trillion omnibus spending bill into law today, just hours after he threatened to veto it. That avoids a government shutdown and does a whole lot of other things, too, but the portion most directly relevant to professional sports is the Save America’s Pastime Ac...
Terry Funk Scouts The Budding Brawl Between “Two Assholes” Trump And Biden
So Donald Trump and Joe Biden are cutting promos again....
The New Tax Bill Could Unintentionally Force Sports Teams To Pay Taxes On Trades
A single word in the sweeping tax bill that House Republicans passed in December could lead to a host of unintended consequences for American pro sports teams when making trades, according to a report from Jim Tankersley in the New York Times. ...
Bucs And Manchester United Owner Ed Glazer Will Host A Big Trump Reelection Fundraiser
Ed Glazer, whose family owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United, will host an exclusive fundraiser for Donald Trump tonight at his house in Beverly Hills. The President’s schedule and plans in Southern California are shrouded in secrecy, but he’ll spend the evening at Glazer’s $22.7 mill...
It's Bad To Waterboard People
This seems like it should be pretty self-explanatory....