poo Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Liverpool Still Rely On A Player They No Longer Have
On Saturday, Liverpool dominated midtable side Hull City, but couldn't find the back of the net. Though they came close to stealing all three points with a late flurry, the match finished a scoreless draw. It was Liverpool's best performance of a nightmare week....

Everton Saves Point At Liverpool with Phil Jagielka Half-Volley Stunner
A stoppage-time equalizer from Phil Jagielka silenced the crowd at Anfield and seized a point from Liverpool at today's rendition of the Merseyside Derby. ...

Mario Balotelli Does Helium Voice Trick, Still Has Spirit Of A Child
Is it too soon to delete that other post? Because Mario Balotelli's Instagram is all you need to know about soccer....

I Can't Stop Looking At Mario Balotelli's New Haircut
Yoooooooooooooo....

Liverpool Defeat Middlesbrough 14-13 On Penalties
Yes, the headline is accurate. Liverpool defeated Championship side Middlesbrough 14-13 on penalties Tuesday to advance to the fourth round of the League Cup. Liverpool took leads of 1-0 and 2-1 but were pegged back twice, the second time in the 123rd minute of play after Kolo Touré's ill-advised ta...

Mario Balotelli Gives Important Words Of Advice To School Children
The start of a soccer season, like the start of a school year, holds the promise of new adventures and fresh starts. Caught up in this spirit of growth and renewal, Mario Balotelli went to Instagram to drop some touching bits of wisdom on today's school children....

Mario Balotelli's Supposed New House Is Cool And Good
This may not be news to you, but Italian soccer star Mario Balotelli, who is the funnest, is back in England after being bought by Premier League side Liverpool from AC Milan. Since he'll ostensibly be sticking around for a little while, at least, he needs somewhere to live. This is the house he's r...

Don't Call Anyone On The Phone, Except For The Following Reasons
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering leaked nudes, urinals, asshole kids, and more....

Hustler's Handbook
Here's Pat Jordan's 1971 Sports Illustrated pool room story, "A Clutch of Odd Birds." It's the kind of piece you don't see much these days and worth a read. ...

British Skip Bayless Has A Strong Take On Mario Balotelli
We'll have more on this as an actual soccer move when (if?) it becomes official, but it's looking pretty near certain that AC Milan striker/international style icon Mario Balotelli will be returning to the Premier League, slotting in at Liverpool to replace Luis Suárez. Chris Bascombe over at the Te...

This Isn't Your Club's Year: Our 2014-2015 Premier League Preview
Woohoo, soccer people. We're back....

How Do I Clean Up All This Mouse Poop?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here once a month to answer your filthiest questions. ...

Kentucky DT Cory Johnson On How Much He Poops: "I Poop So Much"
This is from yesterday, but what kind of operation would we be running if we did not share with you the most urgent news coming out of SEC football? This is Cory Johnson, a recent junior-college transfer, speaking with LEX 18's Alan Cutler about his fluctuating weight. Johnson says he could weigh 29...

What If Baseball's Unwritten Rules Applied To Real Life?
No time for charming intros, so let's get right to it. ...

Disabled Dachshund Named Anderson Pooper Runs In Weiner Dog Race
This is the sweetest goddamned thing. A Washington radio station holds an annual Wiener Dog rally and this year's race took place last Sunday. We don't know who won the race, but Anderson Pooper, chugging along in his little doggie wheelchair, has won our hearts. ...

Yasiel Puig Nearly Dies Of Fright In Thunder Storm
There's a lot going on in this video from Yasiel Puig's Instagram account, but its real value lies in the last one or two seconds....

Would LeBron Still Be In Miami If The Heat Had Won Their Third Title?
I started drinking coffee a year ago so I could wean myself off of Coke Zero, and the main thing I've learned in that time is that coffee makes you a complete asshole. I get all pissy now when I haven't had coffee. I get all pissy when I've had too much coffee. I get pissy if I'm having coffee,...

Guy Doesn't Pay World Cup Pool Entry Fee, Tries To Claim Prize Anyway
There are rules we must all adhere to in order to maintain a functional society. Foremost among them is this: If you enter a fantasy league/pick 'em group/tournament pool, you must pay up before it starts, or at the very least promise to pay at the next available opportunity, or you do not get to cl...

Kosovo Club Offers Luis Suárez Chance To Play During FIFA Ban
Had you heard of K.F. Hajvalia out of Kosovo? Nah? Well, now you have. The Kosovan Superleague club offered Luis Suárez a contract to play for peanuts during the four-month, worldwide ban imposed by FIFA for biting Italy's Giorgio Chiellini. Kosovo, while part of the world, obviously, isn't fully re...