poo Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
FIFA Hits Luis Suárez With Four-Month Ban
No need to speculate anymore. FIFA has ruled that Luis Suárez's most recent biting episode, wherein he chomped into Italian center back Giorgio Chiellini's shoulder, was, in fact, a bite. To punish him, they brought down the hammer....
Pint-Sized Weezer Cover Band Comes Undone In 30 Seconds
This four-piece band from Michigan's Grosse Pointe Music Academy already seems nervous to be playing at a recital in front of people, but they start their cover of Weezer's "Undone—The Sweater Song" with no problem. But soon, some faulty equipment stops everything....
Here's A Fresh Pool Dunk To Ring In The Summer
Summer may not officially start until June 21, but we all know that the Tuesday after Memorial Day, the one we all spend trying to hide our hangovers from our bosses, is the real start of the season. With that in mind, let's get this summer kicked off properly—with a pool dunk....
When Bill Shankly Ruled Liverpool
One of the best books of 2013 will come out in its first American edition next week when Melville House publishes Red or Dead, David Peace's long, strange, and transfixing novel about Bill Shankly's career at Liverpool FC. The single most convincing fictional depiction of the endless repetition that...
ESPN's Darren Rovell Is A Humorless Robot, Part 3,792
ESPN sports business reporter Darren Rovell is best known for being a sensitive penis who lacks a human brain and will believe literally anything. This morning, he once again did his part to solidify that reputation....
The 2013-14 Premier League Season Was Well And Truly Fucking Awesome
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There was pessimism, hope, and ultimately failure. There was schadenfreude; oh, was there schadenfreude. There were also huge games, mesmerizing goals, and more twists in the title race than a M. Night Shyamalan movie (but actually good). To cap o...
You'll Never Flop Alone: Sad Scenes From The Last Of Liverpool's Season
On Sunday, I watched the deflating end of Liverpool's season from various points along Anfield Road, not far from the team's stadium and headquarters. The result was the culmination of a slow-motion regression to an unhappy mean. Having entered the stretch run looking like a lock to win the Premiers...
Animated Soccer Highlights Are Awesome
Artist and filmmaker Richard Swarbrick created an animated highlight reel for Liverpool's season and it is so cool. We need more of these for every sport. ...
Euroleague Players Get Together For Amazing Pool Dunk
We like pool dunks. This one, orchestrated by the Euroleague, may not be the most complicated one we've ever seen, but it is certainly the most polished. It also incorporates a water jet pack, so it's got that going for it....
Heartbreaking Draw Almost Certainly Ends Liverpool's Title Challenge
There is no God. Money does buy happiness. Might overcomes beauty every time. These are the harsh realities soccer fans must begrudgingly accept after Crystal Palace's shocking 88th minute equalizer gave Liverpool a draw—a result that all but mathematically kills their miraculous championship dream....
José Mourinho Is The Antichrist: A Closet Liverpool Fan's Lament
Of course Chelsea won. Of course. ...
Liverpool Would Have The Biggest Turnaround For A Champion In 29 Years
The race for the Premier League title got a lot closer this Sunday, as Liverpool fell to Chelsea and Manchester City topped Crystal Palace. With one fewer game played, City holds the goal differential tiebreak over Liverpool, and is currently a 4/5 favorite to win it all....
Steven Gerrard Slips, Allows Demba Ba To Score Easy Goal
In stoppage time at the end of the first half of Chelsea-Liverpool, Steven Gerrard slipped on a nothing play and allowed Demba Ba to coast right in on goal, with only the keeper to beat. Ba scored and Chelsea have a 1-0 lead in a game that could decide the Premier League title. Naturally, we added ...
Michigan Playground Pooper Now Inspiring Highway Billboards
There's some weird shit going on in Ypsilanti, Mich., right now. Apparently, some terrible person has been taking dumps on playground equipment all over town, and one local marketing firm has had enough of it. ...
We Found The Poor Guy Whose Bracket Mistake Could Cost Him $100,000
Corey Johnson currently has the fourth-best bracket in America. The 20 best brackets will win $100,000 from Quicken Loans and Yahoo Sports, but Corey will not be among them. Corey's bracket didn't pick a champion. Where will Corey be watching tonight's championship game? "From a rope hanging from a ...
Spoonerized Baseball Cards Are A Delight
Over at The Classical, SYH has photoshopped some spoonerized baseball cards for your viewing pleasure. Check them all out here, and make sure to take a look at his first batch from September....
Your Last-Minute Bracket Cheat Sheet: What All The Smart People Say
The "first" "round" of the NCAA tournament is underway, and the deadline for bracket submissions is fast approaching. To help you out with your last-minute picks, we took a look a seven March Madness/college hoops models, and used them to build out seven different "expert brackets."...
Reply Allpocalypse Ruins Deadspin Bracket Pool
Goddamnit, you guys....
Insane Person Endeavors To Poop The Rainbow
[stands in silence, agape, for many long minutes, as the wind blows]...
The Life And Death Of A Comic Genius
Head on over to the Stacks' weekend spot over at the Daily Beast and dig Robert Sam Anson's 1981 Esquire cover story on the co-founder of National Lampoon, Doug Kenney:...