poo Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Video Of Both Goals From This Morning's Man U/Liverpool Match
Thirteen minutes after Ryan Giggs opened up a hole in the wall wide enough for Stephen Gerrard to put Liverpool ahead 1-0, Chicharito scored a header off a corner to level the match at one. It was his first touch coming off the bench. Great second half. (Ignore 0:57 on in the top video; today's Ch...

Are Things Going Any Better For John Henry Over At Liverpool?
It's been almost exactly one year since Henry's Fenway Sports Group purchased Liverpool, so to mark the occasion, Henry agreed to a rare lengthy interview with the Guardian. Both parts are well worth your time, but let's draw out the interesting stuff....

Texas A&M Doesn't Know What Feces Look Like
What's worse than vandalizing a rival school's team buses, flinging shit all over? Saying your rivals did just that, when the truth is much more prosaic and less poopy....

I-Team: Was Bruce Bochy Giving Interviews On The Shitter Last Night At Dodger Stadium?
Tipster Andrew sent us the above photo of the San Francisco Giants manager and added this: "Check out this screen shot of Bruce Bochy's postgame interview. Notice anything odd in the background? Is it possible the man is giving an interview while dropping a deuce?"...

Unemployed WR Terrell Owens Is The Selfish Driver Of A 2003 VW Beetle
"NFL star Terrell Owens was pulled over and cited in L.A. this week for allegedly driving SOLO in the carpool lane ... [A]ccording to law enforcement, once Owens was pulled over ... cops also cited him for an expired registration ... and having overly-tinted windows." [TMZ]...

Pig Poops On Own Balls (Photo NSFW Because Pig Is Pooping On Its Own Giant Balls)
Adjectives offered by Deadspin staff to describe the pig's balls: Large, weighty, absurd, massive, ponderous, colossal, tumescent, tumorous, pendulous, prodigious, balls heavy with hot pig bloatum. A.J.'s mostly concerned with the eggplant-sized poop. We all wonder if the pig might be sick, and we ...

Tiger's Former Mistress, Rachel Uchitel, Is "Almost Happy" Her Fiance Died On 9/11
"I'm almost happy it ended the way it did because I've learned so many lessons from him. It would have been tragic if we got into fights and then divorced." [New York Post, via Gawker]...

Matt Cooke Is Gonna Try Really, Really Hard Not To Be A Cheap-Shot Artist Anymore
As Matt Cooke kept busy last winter by performing his usual song-and-dance of blindside hits and head shots on Penguins opponents, his wife, Michelle, was in the hospital battling a kidney infection. The ordeal, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, was known by his teammates and coaches—and ...

Angel Pagan Was Busy Taking A Shit When He Was Due Up To Bat
"Apparently Pagan 'felt a rumble at the end of the fourth' and ended up spending a significant portion of the fifth shitting, while his coach screamed his name from the dugout in vain." [NYDN, via Gawker]...

It Sure Looks As If One Mexican Soccer Player Had Some Bowel Issues Tonight
Tonight's big winner in the US/Mexico friendly in Philadelphia? Well, nobody. The match ended in a draw. Tonight's big loser? No. 9 on the Mexican side, who is probably wishing that they'd gone with the white shirt/green shorts kit....

Someone Took The Time To Write About How The Credit Downgrade Could Affect The NHL
Some of you math-y sporty types out there have probably wondered what Standard & Poor's downgraded rating on U.S. government debt means for the world of athletics....

What's The Best Way To Clean Up Spooge After Bareback Sex?
Hey, I'm some lady. I'm filling in for that guy you like, who is on vacation, which means that he is most likely drinking rum out of a hollow fruit and riding a horse on a beach somewhere right now (romantic!). Speaking of segueing into talking about horses, my main beef with horses is how fragile t...

Novak Djokovic Just Can't Bear To Be Apart From His "Impeccably Groomed, Snow White Toy Poodle" Pierre
The Brits won't let Novak Djokovic's dog Pierre into the country to watch master play tennis at Wimbledon. This sucks for Novak, whose pooch has a Twitter account and managed to get onto the cover of the July edition of men's Vogue, or L'Uomo Vogue....

Hungover Rock Climber Poops Hisself
Here, watch this. It's old. But it's good! It also has poop. Whatever, it's a summer Friday....

Tubby Messi Impersonator Dribbles Past Old Women, Sheep To Reenact Goal Against Real Madrid
That's how easy it is to get to Wembley, according to this silly video which looks to have been made by Opel and recreates Messi's second goal against Madrid in the first leg of the Champion's League semifinal. There's also a version with crones:...

LeBron, Wade, Bosh "Human Centipede" Sign Too Gross For Display Inside United Center
But according to CB Probasco, artist and season ticketholder, the sign was a big hit outside the arena. Suggested headline from Brett, another participant, was "FEED HER! Taj Gibson Certainly Did," but I didn't want to ruin this poster with that haunting imagery. Too late, I guess....

The Bulging, Feces-Filled Sacs In Brock Lesnar's Colon As Metaphor For Brock Lesnar's MMA Career
Dana White and the UFC convened an emergency conference call yesterday to announce that human orca Brock Lesnar has come down with diverticulitis for a second time and will pull out of his fight against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 131. What, you may ask, is diverticulitis? The National Center for Biote...

Is This The Ultimate Insult To A Rival Team?
Your hated geographic rivals are suffering one of the worst humiliations in their 130-year history. What's a devoted fan who takes pleasure from the misery of others to do? Fly a goddamn airplane banner over their stadium....

Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....

The Poopiness Of The Long Distance Runner
At yesterday's Boston Marathon, this runner finished at the top of her division with a personal best time, even after she experienced a messy gastrointestinal revolt before she crossed the finish line. Unfortunately photographer John Kropewnicki was there when Stinky the Splat Monster paid this poor...