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Canadiens Goalie Carey Price Takes Hockey Puck To The Nuts
Sure you could characterize it as Carey Price enduring "a wrist shot right...in the...middle...of the net" but we all know better. The immediate doubling over is a tell-tale sign of a nut shot....

The Steven Soderbergh Experience: Brilliant, Modest, Fiercely Intelligent, Ultimately Disappointing
"I was watching one of those iconoclast shows on the Sundance Channel. Jamie Oliver said Paul Smith had told him something he hadn't understood until very recently: 'I'd rather be No. 2 forever than No. 1 for a while.' Just make stuff and don't agonize over it. Stop worrying about being No. 1. I s...

Ladies, Jay Cutler's Marriage Proposal Will Have You Sopping Wet
Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and his fiancée, Kristin Cavallari, have announced that they have selected a wedding date. How exciting! More important, however, are the newly revealed details of how Cutler proposed to his wife-to-be. Here's how Cavallari described the magical moment to E! Onl...

What Was The Best Super Bowl Ever? Ranking All 47 Games According To Watchability
Sunday's Super Bowl was undoubtedly awesome. Big comeback. Dramatic finish. Weird NFL rules. Beyoncé. The question on everyone's mind: Was it the best Super Bowl ever? ...

<em>Charles Swan</em> Will Make You Hate Charlie Sheen All Over Again
It always struck me as so strange that Oliver Stone, when he was making his name with Platoon and Wall Street, saw Charlie Sheen as his ideal everyman, the audience representative, the proxy, the innocent surrounded by the rot and corruption Stone sees around every corner. Even then, before the drug...

The Newest Bengal Just Got Out Of Prison, So That's A Plus
The Bengals added Brandon Joiner to their active roster yesterday, the first day he was eligible. Cincinnati signed the undrafted Arkansas State linebacker last spring, less than a month before he began a prison sentence for aggravated robbery and felony drug charges. He got out early, and instead o...

Retired NFL Players Are Depressed And Don't Even Know It: Study
The most striking aspects of the new head-trauma study of former NFL players published in JAMA Neurology are not the formal findings per se. In many ways, those merely quantify and validate suspicions that even casual fans likely hold. The rub is that 40 percent of the retired players that researche...

This Coco Crisp Bobblehead Does The Bernie, And You Want It
The A's adopted the Bernie Lean as their rally dance last year, and it seems to have been worked. After Coco Crisp introduced the clubhouse to the song (actually, two songs: "Moving Like Berney" by ISA and "Bernie Lean" by ATM & IMD), and adopted the latter as his walk-up music, Oakland went on a la...

Lindsey Vonn Was Airlifted From The Slope At The World Championships After This Brutal Crash (UPDATE)
Lindsey Vonn, the 28-year-old American skier and Olympic gold medalist, was airlifted from the slope at the World Championships in Austria this morning after a hideous, sudden crash in the Super-G. Her injuries are still unclear, though the AP reports that it appeared to be her right knee. If fe...

Here's A Really Sad Email From A Guy Who Lost A Prop Bet On Beyoncé's Lack Of Cleavage
This screencap of an email, sent by someone named Jacob to an offshore sports book, has been making its way around the internet today, and boy is it sad. The only thing more depressing than placing a prop bet on whether or not Beyoncé will be showing cleavage during the first song of her halftime p...

The Ravens Won The "Fuck" Bowl, Too: An Analysis Of Twitter Profanity During The Super Bowl
Twitter reports that the Super Bowl generated 24 million tweets last night. Most of them were terrible, so I just looked at the ones that said "fuck." ...

What Was John Harbaugh Ranting About During The Blackout? We Asked A Lip Reader
One of the highlights of last night's Super Bowl broadcast was watching John Harbaugh berate a poor old man during the 34-minute power outage. We don't know who the old guy was (Update: He is the NFL's vice president of game operations, Mike Kensil), but we assume he was some kind of stadium offic...

Here Are The Kids From The Sandy Hook Elementary School Choir Singing "America The Beautiful"
Tonight's pregame ended with Jennifer Hudson and the Sandy Hook Elementary School Choir singing "America the Beautiful" directly prior to Alicia Keys's "Star-Spangled Banner." The kids had quite a large stadium to fill and did the job admirably. Watch it again to get the taste of all the weird Sup...

Texas Assistant Coach Major Applewhite Was Disciplined For "Inappropriate, Consensual Behavior With An Adult Student" Four Years Ago
Former University of Texas quarterback and current UT co-offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach Major Applewhite (that's his first name, not his rank) was disciplined in 2009 by the University of Texas for an infraction now being described as, if we're accurately connecting the very clear dot...

The Guy Who Says He Gave Ray Lewis Deer Antler Spray Held A Crazy Press Conference Today
Mitch Ross (he's the one in the middle up there), owner of the supplement company S.W.A.T.S. and the guy who squealed to Sports Illustrated about giving Ray Lewis deer antler spray, showed up in New Orleans to have an impromptu press conference with a collection of football writers. Among other thi...

Confused Sports Columnist Doesn't Realize A-Rod And Ray Lewis Were In Two Separate PED Scandals
There were two big stories in the world of performance-enhancing drugs, both released on Tuesday. One involved Alex Rodriguez, Nelson Cruz, Melky Cabrera, and other baseball players being listed in the records of a shady clinic in Miami, Fla. The other involved Ray Lewis receiving a deer antler spra...

<em>Warm Bodies</em> Is the Zombie Romance You Didn't Know You Wanted
Of all the boogie monsters and creepy creatures in our public consciousness, the zombie is the most metaphorical by virtue of being the most inflexible. All the other monsters are too human: Vampires and werewolves and Frankenstein's monsters—they're all too motivated by reason, by desire, by upward...

Liquor Store Owner Shot In Eye During Robbery Says The Rock Beating CM Punk Ruined His Week
This has made the rounds a little, but it's new to us. The man in the video is Tom Dotterer, who's known around Syracuse, N.Y., as the 77-year-old baseball coach at Christian Brothers Academy and the longtime owner of Salina Liquors and Wine. He gained additional notoriety last week when he was sh...

Matthew Barnaby Is Suing The Former Miss Buffalo To Get Back A $50,000 Engagement Ring And An SUV
Matthew Barnaby's love life just can't stay out of the penalty box. Less than two years after he was arrested for harassing his ex-wife, the 39-year-old former NHL troublemaker and shitcanned ESPN hockey analyst filed suit this week in the New York State Supreme Court to get back both the $50,000 di...

This Wayne Rooney Scarf Looks An Awful Lot Like Hitler
Manchester United increased their standing atop the Premiership ladder thanks to a 2-1 win over Southampton yesterday driven by a Wayne Rooney brace that brought fans at Old Trafford to their feet, if they weren't already upon them....