Premier League Page 43 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Heartbreaking Draw Almost Certainly Ends Liverpool's Title Challenge
There is no God. Money does buy happiness. Might overcomes beauty every time. These are the harsh realities soccer fans must begrudgingly accept after Crystal Palace's shocking 88th minute equalizer gave Liverpool a draw—a result that all but mathematically kills their miraculous championship dream....
José Mourinho Is The Antichrist: A Closet Liverpool Fan's Lament
Of course Chelsea won. Of course. ...
Liverpool Would Have The Biggest Turnaround For A Champion In 29 Years
The race for the Premier League title got a lot closer this Sunday, as Liverpool fell to Chelsea and Manchester City topped Crystal Palace. With one fewer game played, City holds the goal differential tiebreak over Liverpool, and is currently a 4/5 favorite to win it all....
Steven Gerrard Slips, Allows Demba Ba To Score Easy Goal
In stoppage time at the end of the first half of Chelsea-Liverpool, Steven Gerrard slipped on a nothing play and allowed Demba Ba to coast right in on goal, with only the keeper to beat. Ba scored and Chelsea have a 1-0 lead in a game that could decide the Premier League title. Naturally, we added ...
Manchester United Sacks Sad Sack David Moyes After Disastrous Campaign
It's official! Sad David Moyes has been fired by sad Manchester United, just one year into a six-year contract. While Moyes had avoided the ax a couple times this season, the sacking isn't at all surprising given a nightmarish campaign that has resulted in United's worst ever Premier League season a...
Typical José: Chelsea's Champions League Win Was Right On Schedule
José Mourinho's teams are some goddamn cockroaches, man. Just when you think you've got them squashed, their viscous innards seeping from their corrugated underbelly—as PSG could've justifiably believed, leading Chelsea 3-1 after the first leg of their Champions League tie—they somehow keep right on...
Twitter Users Mistaken For Soccer Whipping Boys Share A Moment
It's tough having a Twitter username that gets mistaken for a celebrity's by stupid people. Today on Twitter, three of them—not-David-Moyes, not-Robin-van-Persie, and not-André Villas-Boas—had a commiseration....
The End Of Arsenal's Premier League Title Hopes, On An Infinite Loop
Sky's still blue....
Here's Everton's Ross Barkley Dribbling 75 Yards And Scoring A Goal
So, Everton are playing Newcastle today, and midway through the first half, the Magpies took a corner kick that was cleared to Everton's young midfielder Ross Barkley. Then Barkley dribbled all the way down the right by himself, cut left inside the box through Newcastle defenders, and roofed a shot ...
Ref Sends Off Wrong Man In Chelsea-Arsenal Match
Arsenal's Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain appeared to use his hand to deflect a shot that was, at the very least, near the goal today in Stamford Bridge. Eden Hazard one-timed a feed from Fernando Torres to the far side of the goal and Oxlade-Chamberlain must have just brain-farted because he dove and trie...
Tottenham Boss Bashes Players, Flexes Imaginary Muscles
Spurs, Spurs, Spurs. It's always something with you guys, isn't it?...
How The Transfer Window Makes Us Joyless <em>Football Manager</em> Drones
If you're still irrationally hoping, praying that one or two of those impossibly tantalizing rumors—David Luiz to Barça? Cavani to Chelsea?—comes true to legitimize the hours you spent throughout the month mashing the refresh button on The Daily Mail's transfer gossip page just as soon as you had fu...
Check Out Daniel Sturridge's Outrageous Rainbow Shot Golazo
It's not every day a center back pings a perfect long ball over the back four for an assist, but then again it's not every day that a striker's first-time, high-arching shot actually finds the back of the net. Did I mention that he wasn't even looking?...
Juan Mata Is Signed. What Will Manchester United Do With Him?
We knew something had to give at Manchester United, what with the team's huge mounds of money begging to fill the huge holes in the squad, but it's still a bit of a surprise that the deal in hand is for Chelsea's Juan Mata, bought for a reported £37M. A bona fide world-class number 10 is a nice addi...
"Diehard" Soccer Fans Pretend To Know Players Who Don't Exist
Well, well, maybe Americans aren't the only ones who don't know anything about soccer. ...
Sad Manchester United Allow Elderly Samuel Eto'o To Score Hat Trick
No one would have imagined this before the season started: Chelsea demolishes Manchester United 3-1, and the only remotely surprising thing is that Samuel Eto'o—a thousand years old, a chronic misfirer—was the man who knocked in the goals. And yet that's how it is....
Video Evidence That Americans Don't Know Anything About Soccer
We're at a strange junction in American soccer fandom. The sport is more popular and visible here than ever, but is still pretty niche. So when this guy decided to ask some college kids fairly basic soccer questions, the results were wildly inconsistent....
What's Wrong With Manchester United, And How To Fix It
Yesterday, defending Premier League champions Manchester United faced the league's last place team, Sunderland, in the first leg of the League Cup semifinal. After losing the first two matches of 2014 (at home to Tottenham and to Swansea), United were fighting to not lose three straight for the firs...
The Worst Owner In Sports: A Photo Gallery
Vincent Tan, Malaysian billionaire and owner of Cardiff City, is the worst owner in sports. He is also a pretty hilarious looking dude. With that in mind, we decided to take a journey with the man through his decidedly up-and-down 2013....