Premier League Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Premier League Needs More Bastards Like Diego Costa
It takes a certain type of person to start an argument with a person who can't even understand what they're saying. But with Chelsea leading 3-1 at Everton with a little over 20 minutes to play, a goal already to his name, that's what Diego Costa did....

Manchester United's Luke Shaw Is The Next Gareth Bale, Even If He's Not
This summer, Manchester United bought left back Luke Shaw from Southampton for £30 million. Luke Shaw is 19 years old. If you're not familiar with soccer's transfer fees, that is a staggering amount of money for a teenager. It's more than the fee paid for Wayne Rooney, another English talent of grea...

Soccer's Faulty New Money Rule Hurts The Clubs It Was Meant To Protect
Queens Park Rangers are the latest victim of Financial Fair Play, the laudably-aimed yet poorly calibrated rules which are in theory meant to keep teams solvent but in practice keep them from sensibly spending to improve their position, or even from spending money they actually have. Yesterday, Engl...

Mario Balotelli's Supposed New House Is Cool And Good
This may not be news to you, but Italian soccer star Mario Balotelli, who is the funnest, is back in England after being bought by Premier League side Liverpool from AC Milan. Since he'll ostensibly be sticking around for a little while, at least, he needs somewhere to live. This is the house he's r...

Wayne Routledge Scores With A Beautiful Chest-High Volley
Mmmmm, this contorted, leaping volley from outside the box by Swansea City's Wayne Routledge is just delicious. How did he get his foot so high?...

Did Mesut Özil Actually Suck Last Year? Whose Fault Was That?
It was easy to blame Mesut Özil, because it's easy to blame any athlete for anything. But last year, it was particularly easy to blame Mesut Özil. He arrived under the halo of his record £42.5 million fee at Arsenal, implicitly anointing him Savior, a title that almost always preempts failure....

Premier League Text Message Scandal Is Making Everybody Stupid
May you never have to be defended by Harry Redknapp. ...

British Skip Bayless Has A Strong Take On Mario Balotelli
We'll have more on this as an actual soccer move when (if?) it becomes official, but it's looking pretty near certain that AC Milan striker/international style icon Mario Balotelli will be returning to the Premier League, slotting in at Liverpool to replace Luis Suárez. Chris Bascombe over at the Te...

How Chelsea's Missing Piece Fell Into Their Lap
Yesterday, Chelsea kicked off their season against Premier League minnows Burnley. When the match started, their new, star midfielder Cesc Fàbregas looked strange, out of place donned in blue. He didn't seem like he fit. ...

Chelsea, <em>Hot Damn</em>
It's too early to declare something a goal of the year contender...right?...

This Isn't Your Club's Year: Our 2014-2015 Premier League Preview
Woohoo, soccer people. We're back....

Watch Arsenal Players Try And Fail To Talk Like New Yorkers
We've all had one too many drinks and suddenly decided it was a great time to impress people with our spot-on English accent. Right? Right?!? ...

Which Leagues Are Having The Most Success At The World Cup?
For people who really know their shit about soccer, one of the fun bits of the World Cup is recognizing which club-level teammates and rivals are facing off for their various national squads. Which of these club leagues are best represented at this year's Cup? The New York Times built an elaborate w...

Yaya Touré Wants To Go Home Because Nobody Made Him A Birthday Cake
Apparently, Manchester City superstar and greatest midfielder currently doing it Yaya Touré is unhappy with his club. Why, you might wonder, when they just won the Premier League in exciting fashion, featuring him as their best player? Because the team didn't celebrate his birthday....

Man United Hire New Manager, Already Expect To Win Premier League
It's not even next season yet and we've already got the first lolunited post of the '14-'15 campaign. New Manchester United ship captain Louis van Gaal has officially been christened, and in lieu of smacking him across the head with a champagne bottle, they've promised him £150M, with an expectation...

Elderly Samuel Eto'o Bashes Mourinho, Plans To Play As <em>Actual</em> Old Man
Samuel Eto'o is in the Ivory Coast today in support of the Copa Coca Cola, an international youth tournament. In an interview before the event, he had some choice words for the "fool" José Mourinho and anyone else who wants to fuck with Hollywood Court....

Samir Nasri's Girlfriend Is Not Happy With France's World Cup Team
It's been a bit of an up and down week for French star Samir Nasri. On Sunday, his Manchester City team won the Premier League. Way up! But today, Nasri found out he was left off France's World Cup squad. Way down!...

The 2013-14 Premier League Season Was Well And Truly Fucking Awesome
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There was pessimism, hope, and ultimately failure. There was schadenfreude; oh, was there schadenfreude. There were also huge games, mesmerizing goals, and more twists in the title race than a M. Night Shyamalan movie (but actually good). To cap o...

You'll Never Flop Alone: Sad Scenes From The Last Of Liverpool's Season
On Sunday, I watched the deflating end of Liverpool's season from various points along Anfield Road, not far from the team's stadium and headquarters. The result was the culmination of a slow-motion regression to an unhappy mean. Having entered the stretch run looking like a lock to win the Premiers...

This Great Yaya Touré Goal Is The Perfect Cap To The 2014 PL Season
Well, it's over. Manchester City played Aston Villa today in the Premier League, and whammed on them. Unless Manchester City lose to midtable West Ham next weekend, they'll be crowned Premier League champions. ...