rant Page 74 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oscar Nominations Won’t Solve A Fucking Thing
Okay, so the Oscar nominations came out this morning, and all of the acting categories feature white nominees, and all the Best Picture nominees are stories about dudes. As you can imagine, the Problem Internet was not pleased with this development. We go right to the takes!...
Bill Simmons Had Lena Dunham Back On His Podcast, And They Said Things
For the third time now, thought leader Lena Dunham joined multiplatform presence Bill Simmons on his podcast yesterday. It was a typically awkward and at times baffling example of audience cross-pollination between two people with little in common besides their love of their own voices. Dunham has...
Okay, Which One Of You Tweeted Something Mean At Kevin Durant?
Someone better fess up. Kevin Durant was being grumpy about Twitter today. Which one of you said something mean to him, you jerks?...
Introducing: The Shabazz Assist
Two years ago, Grantland's Kirk Goldsberry introduced the Kobe Assist, a new statistic that "proves that missing shots is sometimes just as valuable as making them." Goldsberry's analysis was interesting, but it left out a key component: the dunkpass. You see, Goldsberry examined what percentage o...
It's About Ethics In Restaurant-List Journalism, Mewls Slighted Chef
Breaking: Entitled white dude slings around bogus journalism-ethics complaints in reactionary response to insecurity over his former spot atop a hierarchy! Call it DinerGate....
Jerian Grant Flies Through The Sky And Dunks Like A Goddamn Eagle
This is senior Notre Dame guard Jerian Grant doing one of the meanest things you're going to see in this world or the next against Georgia Tech victim Tadric Jackson. Poor Tadric....
They Have Teasers For Teasers For Goddamn Trailers Now
Here is a teaser for the upcoming Ant-Man teaser, which I don't want to watch on principle, because FOR FUCK'S SAKE. How desperate for a goddamn Ant-Man movie do you have to be to get a boner over an ad for an ad for an ad?...
Bed-And-Breakfasts Are Stupid
Many people get a certain twinkle in their eyes at the mere mention of bed-and-breakfasts. Ooh, let's take a road trip through New England and stay at bed-and-breakfasts! It'll be so cozy and romantic! This is a baffling and inexplicable notion. Bed-and-breakfasts are miserable and stupid....
Your Ugly Christmas Sweater Is Stupid; Stop Wearing It Now
Take off your ugly Christmas sweater and burn it. Don't throw it in the trash, because that's not good enough. That thing needs to be rendered useless, diced into tiny pieces, incinerated. Why? Let's start with the fact that it's not a functioning piece of clothing. It's itchy, ill-fitting, and le...
Kevin Durant Suffers Sprained Ankle
Kevin Durant left Thursday night's matchup against the Warriors with an ankle injury, and he will not return. Durant injured his right ankle late in the second quarter, when he stepped on Mo Speights's foot as Speights slid over to take a charge. X-rays on the ankle were negative, but he was diagnos...
NBA Shit List: The Philadelphia 76ers, Who Are Capitalism's Diarrhea
Something confounding is happening in Philadelphia. The meanest, vilest, prosthetic-leg-stealingest fanbase in American sports has gone soft for its garbage basketball team, apparently because management promised them a present if they'll all just behave and eat their garbage basketball each nig...
Orlando Scandrick Plays <i>Madden</i> To Win, Even At A Children's Hospital
Orlando Scandrick apparently visited a children's hospital yesterday, and according to linebacker Justin Durant, Scandrick whooped some punk in Madden. The Cowboys cornerback even went with a surprise onside kick on the kid. You have to be ready for anything, little Timmy....
Fuck The British Royal Family
His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Personal Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty The Queen, looks like ...
Fran Tarkenton Spent A Season On Now-Banned Horse Painkillers
Earlier this month, federal agents raided the medical staffs of five NFL teams. They were looking for prescription drugs, on the heels of a class-action suit alleging that the NFL has been doping up its players for years, pumping them full of painkillers because it was the only way they could possib...
Russell Westbrook And Kevin Durant Are Coming To Save The Day
Russell Westbrook could return to the Thunder lineup as soon as Friday, with Kevin Durant rejoining the team not long after that, and it's none too soon for 3-12 OKC....
Lil B Confirms Kevin Durant's Injury Caused By The Based God's Curse
Lil B was at MIT last night, giving what The FADER called "a groundbreaking lecture" at the school's Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory. The lecture sounds like it was quite the event, "presenting nuanced observations on workplace efficiency, human empathy, and GMOs," as well as...
Black Grantland's Old White Guy To Black People: Do What I Tell You
Yesterday, news dropped that Jason Whitlock was about to make Mike Wise, an oldish white Washington Post columnist and proud champion of liberal causes, his second official "black Grantland" hire. That's interesting not just because of what he is—this is supposed to be a site bursting with young, up...
This Family Is The Worst Thing On Facebook
Perhaps you have had occasion to view a YouTube song video created by a group of healthy-looking white people named "The Holderness Family." Perhaps it was the one in which they perform a version of Snoop Dogg's classic "Gin and Juice" song, fitted to Halloween, titled "Kin and Moose."...
"Black Grantland" Hires White Hot-Taker Who Whines About Rap Music
So, there's some news today regarding Jason Whitlock's ESPN website, which at least at one point was supposed to be a "black Grantland." First, it's still a thing that is happening. Second, Whitlock's close to signing his second official hire: Washington Post columnist Mike Wise....