rb Page 376 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Video Of Two Women In Really Short Shorts Fighting In The Woods (NSFW)
It's not the violence of this video that's offensive, not even when a third fair maiden jumps in and takes her foot to someone's face a couple of times. It's the unladylike profanity that speaks to societal degradation....

The Sucker Karate-Kicking Goalkeeper Could Soon Be Charged With Attempted Murder
Remember that whole U-20 soccer tournament brawl in Brazil that came to an abrupt halt when evil Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind? Well, you can likely tack an attempted-murder charge onto the lifetime ban that Gustavo's facin...

Guess Who Arrived First For Broncos Practice Today?
At 8:01 this morning: "Tim Tebow. Of course." [@AdamSchefter]...

The Sucker Karate Kick Is Much More Evil Than The Sucker Punch
After a third-round game in a U-20 soccer tournament in Minas Gerais, Brasil on Monday, the players brawled. That brawl suddenly ended, however, when Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind and with no warning....

Breaking: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $171.45, But That's Because He Didn't Pay Last Month's Bill
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

Mike Vick Tweets That He'd Be Honored To Have Favre Back Him Up, Then Tweet Disappears
You'll recall this, Howard Eskin's report that the Eagles might have some interest in bringing the gunslinging kid aboard as a backup in 2011. This scared a lot of us....

How Soccer Fans Thank Their Team In The Middle Of A Match-Fixing Scandal
Turkish champions Fenerbahçe are embroiled in a huge match-fixing scandal that could see their team stripped of their title and relegated. Hours before yesterday's friendly with Ukranian side Shakhtar Donetsk, club chairman Aziz Yıldırım (who currently sits in jail) announced he would resign. So i...

Venezuela Lost, But Did Not Go Down Without A Brawl, In Last Night's Copa America Semifinals
When Paraguay outlasted Venezuela in the Copa America semifinals last night, it brought cell-phone holder Larissa Riquelme within 90 minutes of having to strip for the world. The PK victory after a 0-0 match also resulted in a brawl. Good times....

Watch A "One-Punch Fight" In The Stands At Today's Pirates Game
With Pittsburgh's 3-1 loss to the Reds today, a Milwaukee win over Arizona tonight would put the Brewers in first place. The fear of dreams being dashed was probably what started all this static near Bob and Eileen who just wanted to talk some Ozzy and cheer the Pirates onto a victory that would n...

Packers DB Sam Shields Gets Giant, Painful-Looking Super Bowl Ring Tattooed On His Neck
Super Bowl winners receive championship rings—expensive, garish things—but they're tangible. You can hang on to your triumph through karats....

Upcoming Reality Show Will Follow Sheriff's Deputy Butterbean Around
Step aside, Steven Seagal: Lawman. There's a new novelty cop in town, and, well, it's former heavyweight fighter Butterbean....

Kentucky Demolition Derby Winner Charged With DUI After Winning Demolition Derby
Bad hoodoo from the Jessamine County Fair. Dark times. A champion laid low. On Wednesday, David L. Warner Jr., of Nicholasville, Ky., drove a beaut of a derby in the ultra-competitive small car class. Warner demolished many things on his way to the title. But instead of getting to enjoy his victory,...

Aaron Rodgers Does Not Think You Should Drive Drunk Or Uninformed About Car Insurance
Super Bowl XLV MVP Aaron Rodgers has spent a portion of his locked-out off-season in the company of David Gruber, a personal-injury attorney whose office number includes the word "HURT." Together, they've filmed a pair of commercials, the first of which urges Wisconsinites to enjoy "fun, festivals...

Mets Reliever Taylor Buchholz, On DL For Depression, Says He Felt Bad Crying To Another Man
Taylor Buchholz—who was actually decent in 26 relief innings for the Mets this year—is on the DL with depression. This is not altogether unusual: note Khalil Greene and Dontrelle Willis. What's unusual is the way Buchholz described his condition and the way AOL Patch explained his condition further....

Ryan Howard's RBI Total Does Not Make Him The Greatest Baseball Player In The Universe, Bill Conlin
Bill Conlin wrote something dumb today. In other news, the sun rose in the east. But we're not going to go after Bill Conlin, because it's been done. Instead we're going to try and put in the simplest terms possible why he and anyone else rejecting advanced statistics out of hand are being willfully...

Now Photographers Working The Home Run Derby Are Planking Too
We've tried to stay on top of this planking thing for you guys, because it's confusing and new and stressful. Last we dropped in on sports-based planking, some wealthy—but now unemployed—NBA stars got prone on ostentatious objects (Beamers, Benzes, or Bentleys, we cannot remember which)....

A Half-Assed Statistical Analysis Of The Half-Assed Home Run Derby's Half-Assed Announcing
Chris Berman said the word "BACK" 78 times last night, 66 of which were in reference to home runs. That's about .62 "BACK"s per homer, a figure we assume is much lower than in previous years. Here's a breakdown of each player's traditional and Berman statistics (distance data from MLB.com):...

Weak Grounder To Second Starts Nutso Minor League Brawl
Your gladiators: the Spokane Indians and Vancouver Canadian, Class A affiliates of the Rangers and Blue Jays respectively. Your catalyst: I dunno, probably someone saying something about someone's momma....

The Derby Featured A Diving Catch Into A Pool, And Not A Single Drop Of Beer Was Wasted
Our esteemed announcers preferred an earlier catch to this gentleman's play, but they fail to notice that on his dive, he manages to save his entire pint. This great nation will go to great lengths to ensure that we never waste a drop of an overpriced lager....

Your Home Run Derby Open Thread/Chris Berman Liveblog
Here's your Home Run Derby open thread. I will be live-blogging Chris Berman. And give us your best Berman nickname for a prize....