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Why Do We Deny The Awesomeness Of The Red Wings?
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

This Guy Hasn't Washed His Face Since 2004
They've announced the villain in the next Batman movie, and this one's the most insidious of all. His powers include super smugness, a photographic memory that does not include anything prior to 2001, and invisibility (should the conversation turn to the Bruins). Only posted comment to his photo so...

Chad Johnson Might Want To Play For The Redskins
The Bengals are adamant: They're not trading Chad Johnson. But it appears Chad Johnson has a differing view....

Smith Street (NSFW)
This is AJ Daulerio's final Cultural Oddsmaker for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while cashing a check for Bernie ... • NHL: Ramo: First Blood ... Lightning 5, Rangers 3. • NBA: Heat vs. Timberwolves ... a matchup you're really sorry you missed. • NFL: Nooooo! Nooooooo! You mean that the 49ers hired ... ?NOOOO!...

Joe Gibbs Decides That's Just About Enough
All told, and we mean no offense to the legend here, but we think we preferred the older, fatter Joe Gibbs to the one we see today....

Seattle vs. Washington: Second Half
image via Getty I hope you enjoyed that first half, because I sure as shit didn't. The Redskins punted the ball at a breakneck pace and once Seattle got on the board their offense began to slow down. Then at the very end of the half master timekeeper Mike Holmgren decided he didn't want to leave any...

Seattle vs. Washington: First Half
Image via army.mil It's just about that time and my fingers are shaking from the anticipation... and the delirium tremens. The Seahawks and their alleged 12th Man have opened up Qwest field to the visiting Redskins and the kickoff of the 2008 NFLplayoffs are just moments away. I won't actually "liv...

Welcome to Wild Card Weekend
Praise Jesus, Adonai, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Yaweh, Zeus, Odin, Bill Brasky, and their father, Tim Tebow. The NFL Playoffs arrive today and my preferred team will be kicking things off in about four hours. Seattle have the honor of hosting the early game and the weather is about what you'd expect. T...

Kevin Youkilis' Slump Buster
You encourage Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis to cash in on every endorsement opportunity he has; even in Boston, championships are a rare thing, and you gotta get yours while you can. Which is why we appreciate his new Slump Buster beverage....

NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Redskins
All right, kids, the playoffs are beginning Saturday, so it's time to start sorting some of these wild-card matchups. We find one game compelling, two somewhat intriguing and one rather dull. This is in that middle category....

The NFL Playoff Picture Explained
Country X is planning to attack country Y, and country Y is anticipating the attack. Country X can either attack by land or by sea. Country Y can either prepare for a land defense or a sea defense. If X launches an attack by sea and Y prepares a defense by sea the probability of a successf— BAH! I'm...

Michael Vick Does Not Approve
We haven't quite wrapped our minds around this alleged news that Jonathan Papelbon's dog at the clinching ball from the World Series last year. We're not sure we believe it....

Curt Schilling Used To Rock Much Harder Than He Does Now
You might see Curt Schilling as a blowhard, but trust us, he used to be cool. How do we know? Boston Magazine has a copy of a minor league program from 1986 reveals Schilling's rocking soul....

Yep, They've Changed Everything Around Again
If a couple months have passed, you know what that must mean: It's time for yet another Gawker Media redesign of Deadspin. It's like the weather around here; if you don't like a redesign, just wait a while, something different will come along. And it will have hail....

He's Baaaaaaaaaaack!
If it were up to me I would not be reposting this. I find 'Nightmare Ant' creepy, intimidating and more than a little demonic. But the truth is, I have very little control over this site anymore. Neither does Will. Yeah, it's 'Nightmare Ant' calling the shots now. And if 'Nightmare Ant' wants his ph...

Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness
Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar!...

Bronson Arroyo Brings The Rock
Last night, we saw the Majestic Rock that is The Sword. We left quite rocked. But we ain't seen nothin' yet; Bronson Arroyo is on tour....

He Seems To Have Thought Of Everything: How In The World Did This Not Work?
So this guy robs a bank, and during his getaway he stops at a salon about a block away for hair extensions and a manicure (by now you've guessed that this occurred in Florida). But that's not the best part. The loot he stole was booby trapped, and during his escape it exploded, covering him in red d...