ric Page 464 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
“From the time I was playing Junior hockey for the Sarnia Sting to my first year in the NHL with the Los Angeles Kings, I would start drinking the second I woke up on my days off. I smoked marijuana every single day. By the time I was 19 years old, I was using cocaine weekly,” Rich Clune writes in T...
Please Don't Kick The King
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DeAndre Jordan Signs With Mavs, Is A Better GM Than Doc Rivers
Center DeAndre Jordan will sign a four-year, $80 million-plus max contract with the Dallas Mavericks, reports ESPN’s Marc Stein. Jordan was reportedly deciding between accepting Dallas’ offer and one from his now-former team, the Los Angeles Clippers....
Chilean Satire Mag Makes A Funny About Messi Getting Finger Up His Butt
“Get ready, Messi,” Chilean magazine The Clinical writes, riffing on Chile defender Gonzalo Jara’s recent finger-in-the-butthole move, as well as Lionel Messi’s oft-mentioned otherworldly abilities ahead of Saturday’s Chile-Argentina Copa América final. Pretty clever, you guys!...
Lionel Messi Turns Two Defenders Into Larry And Moe
Look at the image above. It appears to show two well-positioned Paraguayan defenders on the cusp of shepherding the ball away from Lionel Messi. Now, watch the video below, where Messi skips past one, nutmegs the other, and generally jukes them so hard that they crash into each other, left helpless ...
Report: Mike Richards Stopped At Canadian Border With Oxycodone
According to TMZ, former Kings center Mike Richards was stopped at the Canadian border two weeks ago and “questioned about oxycodone pills,” but has not been charged with any crime. (Update: According to the Winnipeg Sun, Richards was arrested at the border.) Rumors and allegations of substance abus...
God Bless Patrick Kane, Beautiful Karaoke Moron
You should never make fun of people for singing karaoke poorly, because the whole point of karaoke is to get drunk and yell and cause ruckus. But I think it’s okay to poke fun at Chicago Blackhawks party boy Patrick Kane, who does something delightfully stupid at about the two-minute mark of this cl...
"An Absolute Glitterbomb": Chile Takes Lead On Long-Distance <i>Golazo</i>
Chile launched Estadio Nacional into ecstasy when Edu Vargas landed an unreal screamer to put the host side up 2-1 on Peru just minutes after Gary Medel had equalized for the Peruvians in the Copa America semifinal. As you might expect, it sent beIN announcer Ray Hudson into orgasmic screams....
Kings Terminate Mike Richards's Contract Under Mysterious Circumstances
The offseason hits are piling up for the Los Angeles Kings. Four days after center Jarret Stoll pleaded out his case after being arrested in Vegas for possession of ecstasy and coke, the Kings have terminated center Mike Richards’s contract for a “material breach.” Here’s the full, terse, statement:...
Cyclist Fight!
This happened just beyond the finish line at this weekend’s Longsjo Classic. Based on the bib numbers, the guy throwing the punches is named Jerome Townsend, and the dude getting popped is named Dave Warner....
Paraguayan Soccer Player Wins Game On PK, Uncle Dies Of Heart Attack
Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack. ...
Evil Soccer Man Sticks His Fingers Up Opponent's Butthole
What part of “you can’t use your hands” don’t you get, Gonzalo Jara? And Cavani was the one who got sent off? There’s no justice in this world....
Carey Price Wins Hart, Vezina Trophies, Ted Lindsay Award
Montreal Canadiens goalie Carey Price cleaned up at the NHL Awards show Wednesday night, winning the Hart Trophy as the league’s MVP, the Vezina Trophy as the league’s best goalie, and the Ted Linsday Award for the league’s most outstanding player as voted by the NHLPA. ...
Some Guy Says He Won't Play For The Sixers Next Season
Croatian forward Dario Šarić has informed the Philadelphia 76ers that he will not play for them in the 2015-16 season. Neither will Karl-Anthony Towns, Tom Brady, or Barack Obama. After much deliberation, I too have decided not to join the Sixers in 2015-16....
Neymar Suspended For The Rest Of Copa América
Yesterday, we lamented the preliminary two-match suspension handed down to Neymar because of his actions at the end of the Brazil-Colombia game. We now know for (almost) certain that we have seen the last of Brazil’s stud for the Copa América, as his suspension has been increased to four games....
Clarence Thomas Cites Warrick Dunn's Life Story In Death-Penalty Case
On Jan. 7, 1993, Kevan Brumfield was one of two men who gunned down Baton Rouge police Cpl. Betty Smothers. The mother of six, including then 18-year-old Warrick Dunn, was working an off-duty security job, escorting a grocery store manager to make a bank deposit. Brumfield was sentenced to death two...
Neymar Given Two-Match Suspension For Shenanigans After Colombia Loss
Colombia beat Brazil 1-0 last night in the Copa América, Los Cafeteros’ first win over the South American giants since 1991. But instead of the impressiveness of the feat (and Brazil’s continued struggles) taking center stage, the kerfuffle that broke out after the final whistle has overshadowed the...
Gator Mercifully Chews Idiot's Arm Instead Of Totally Eating Him [Update]
Update (3:25 p.m.): This guy is a scientist, not a golfer. The original post is below....
Director Of Terrible FIFA Movie Rues His New Rep As A Propaganda Man
Frédéric Auburtin had the misfortune of directing the colossal flop that was United Passions, the movie about and paid for by FIFA. And while directing an awful movie itself can usually be brushed off pretty easily, the recent scandal has inflicted lasting scars on Auburtin’s reputation, as he expla...