rist Page 89 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Carl Lewis Claims Gov. Chris Christie Tried To Bully Him
Former track star Carl Lewis, of all people, has a gripe with New Jersey governor Chris Christie. Lewis said Monday that back in 2011, when Lewis considered running for a state senator position, Christie attempted to persuade him otherwise....

Old Video: Christian Laettner Gets His Head Slammed Into The Floor
Here's a nice little throwback for all the Dook haters out there. That's Rod Sellers doing the head-slamming, by the way....

Real Madrid Coach Carlo Ancelotti Glimpsed The Edge Of Existence
While this photo was snapped during Real Madrid's 2-0 win over Osasuna to reach the Copa del Rey quarters, the stare of head coach Carlo Ancelotti is that of a man who is elsewhere, possibly someplace Kubrickianly dark and distant. ...

Cristiano Ronaldo Scores Goal Off Goalie's Taint
Cristiano Ronaldo, fresh off of his 2013 Ballon d'Or, scored a goal after the ball bounced between the legs of Osasuna keeper Andres Fernandez and in for a 1-0 lead....

Sadly, This Great Picture Of Ronaldo Stealing Messi's Girl Is Fake
Cristiano Ronaldo won his second Ballon d'Or yesterday, awarded to the year's best soccer player. He beat out Lionel Messi, who had won it four years in a row. Ronaldo's win was expected (though neither he nor Messi had each other in their top three), so the highlight of the gala was the above photo...

Cristiano Ronaldo Cries After Winning Ballon D'Or
[Turns out there's a soul inside that chiseled case of muscle and arrogance after all. That or the cyborgs are getting good at feigning human emotion. Photo by Michael Probst/AP]...

The NFL Shop Ruined A Lot Of Christmases
We received an email from a reader looking to vent. They purchased a jersey from NFLShop.com on Dec. 6 as an intended present, since the site promised—in large, bolded text—that it would arrive before Christmas. It still hasn't shown up. If that was an anomaly, it'd be understandable, even excusable...

Dad Gets Bears-Fan Daughter A Packers Jersey For Christmas
Man, parents can be real assholes sometimes. ...

This Little Soccer Fan Is Not Happy With Her Parents' Prank Gift
Oh man. These Portuguese parents, who trolled their Benfica-supporting daughter by giving her a shirt from rival team Porto, will think twice before crossing their kid again. That ice grill she hits them with is something fierce....

"Dad Gets College Football Tickets For Christmas" Video Has A Twist
So, videos of college football fans getting tickets for Christmas are popping up all over, as they do every holiday season, but this one stands out for the elaborate scheme. It's on par with the final minutes of a soap opera....

A Christmas Tradition
Terry Lyons gives us a little Shelby Strother:...

How Do I Clean Up All These Pine Needles?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....

Dogs And Cats Love Wrapping Paper So Damn Much
As Christmas presents are opened, pets receive the unintentional gift of mounds of wrapping paper left on the floor. Many dogs and cats fucking adore wrapping paper. They'll tear it apart, run through it, or just sit on it, for some weird reason. This is definitely not sports-related....

NBA's Christmas Uniforms Are Ugly As Sin
Last month, we saw the leaked NBA uniforms for Christmas Day—with sleeves? Sleeves?—and thought, hey, maybe they just seem bad because no one's actually wearing them. Perhaps they'll look better in action, on actual players. Nah. They look like generic unis for a movie set in the future designed to ...

D.C. Santa Claus Shot With Pellet Gun In Front Of TV Crew
Here's some horrible footage from Washington, D.C. station WJLA. The ABC affiliate was covering a toy giveaway in the southeast side of the city when somebody shot Santa Claus in the back. ...

The Texans Have The Saddest Christmas Tree In The NFL (Naturally)
The Wall Street Journal assigned eight members of its sports staff to judge photos of 29 of 32 NFL teams' Christmas trees. Because the universe bends toward order, the Texans have the very worst. ...

Here's <em>The Guardian</em>'s Ranked List Of The 100 Best Soccer Players
Today, The Guardian has completed its top 100 soccer players list by unveiling the top 10. While probably a little too deferential to certain teams and young players, the list is still fascinating for what it says about the soccer world....

The Best Version Of Every Important Christmas Song
NOTE: There are no country music versions on this list, because country music is terrible....

A Christmas Carol For White Sox Fans
Christmas Carols always bring to mind an old family friend who passed away a few years ago. Sam was a long-suffering Cubs fan—is there any other kind?—who used to sing a variation of "Adeste Fideles" that paid tribute to the Go-Go White Sox. ...