ryan Page 122 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

All Of Roger Clemens' Physical Gifts Can Be Purchased In This Mystery Discount Box
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Young Boozer Carries On Boozer Family Tradition In Alabama
Meet Young Boozer III, future state treasurer of Alabama. His dad, Young Boozer Jr., played football for the Crimson Tide and was Bear Bryant's roommate. Alabama continues to be awesome....

Kobe's A Pilgrim, Kobe's A Stranger
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stylist For Kobe's Awful Photo Shoot Says He Didn't Want Anything "Too Gay Or Twinkie-boy"
Italian "freelance stylist" Jame Veleri to the LA Times: "I went for high fashion, not something too easy or too predictable. I thought it was cool and not too mainstream, but not too gay or Twinkie-boy." Mission accomplished?...

Gallery: A Roundup Of Kobe Bryant Photoshop Humor (UPDATES)
Many, many, many of you submitted your artwork to the Kobe Bryant photoshop post's comments and in emails. Keep 'em coming, and I'll update here accordingly....

Jets Fans Are Rational People And The Team In No Way Has Unrealistic Expectations
Jets fans predict 15-1 season. Rex Ryan asks, "who'd we lose to?" I think Hard Knocks should move from HBO to late-night Cinemax, because I'm getting hard just thinking about it. [ESPN]...

A Black Mamba Photoshop-Off? A Black Mamba Photoshop-Off
Yesterday, we drew your attention to a photo spread of Kobe Bryant that appeared in LA Times Magazine. It's a ridiculous set of pictures, and it was only a matter of time before the Photoshop shenanigans began. Do your own handiwork below....

Last Night's Winner: The Dogged Efforts To Prove Dez Bryant's Mom Is A Sinner
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Karacter Kops determined to prove that the mother of a newly minted professional football player is, while not a hooker, still a very bad person....

Dez Bryant's Non-Streetwalking Mother Upset That Jeff Ireland Has Not Apologized To Her
"No, he has not called. I think he should have. Why wouldn't you do that?," she complained to Fanhouse. Maybe Ireland still thinks he would risk a solicitation charge if he called her directly....

Kobe Bryant: Whitest Man On The Planet
Poor Black Mamba lets the LA Times Magazine dress him in an inexplicable pimp-doily-meets-Jor-El wardrobe meant to showcase the fun side of his personality. Plus, the interview portion has him discussing dog shit again. [LATmag]...

The NFL's Worst Human Being Works For The Dolphins
It comes out that the exec who asked Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute was Miami GM Jeff Ireland. Hey, Parcells wasn't hung up on character as a coach, why should he change in the front office? [Yahoo!]...

Your NFL Draft Open Thread
The annual convention of Jets replica jerseys known as the NFL Draft will be gaveled to order soon. Please use this space to discuss....

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Part 782
"If I'm going to be the biggest bust, I have to own up to it. I used to go to bed at night hoping somebody else like Heath Shuler might magically leapfrog me on those all-time bust lists."[LAT]...

To Sit Or Not To Sit: Do Players Owe Fans Anything?
It's that time of year again: The time when NBA teams, secure in their playoff destiny, start phoning in their remaining regular season games. But are these millionaires really just robbing you, John Q. Slob, of your hard-earned minimum wages?...

She's Just Not That Into You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

They May Be Smug Unlikeable Bastards, But Damned If They Don't Have Good Foot Doctors
WVU's Darryl Bryant was treated by an orthopedic surgeon from Duke, in hopes of being ready to face the Blue Devils on Saturday. Would you be shocked if he implanted a time bomb in that foot? [News & Observer]...

Last Night's Winner: Steve Lavin's Wife
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Steve Lavin, who is not only young, well-groomed and gainfully employed, but also married to an attractive human female that (presumably) has sex with him....

Allegedly Smart NASCAR Driver Is "Pretty Sure" The Moon Landing Was Faked
Quoth Ryan Newman, one-time mechanical engineering student at Purdue: "I watched the documentary on it, and it's pretty easy to believe. The flag was standing straight out when there's no wind up there." Your thoughts, Buzz Aldrin? [GN&R, via]...

Ryan Mallett's Scooter Gives SEC Fans A Head Start On Next Season's Taunts
Arkansas quarterback Ryan Mallett is getting around campus on a special scooter designed to keep his left foot off the ground. (Because a Rascal wasn't dorky enough?) I'm sure it won't come up during road games next fall. [Mr.Sec/Arkansas News]...

Stevie Franchise Attempts To Scratch His Frontal Lobe
This is just dag nasty. But at least the Orlando Magic guard has found an activity to keep him occupied while bench-riding. I love the reaction these guys had while watching the horrifying booger excavation take place....