ryan Page 60 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ass Team Of The Week: The Buccaneers Were Killed By Their Own Hot, Compressed Farts
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost 16-3 to Washington on Sunday, but just about every number save for the final score says the Bucs were the better team. They out-gained Washington in yards nearly two-to-one—it was 501 to 286 when the final whistle blew—and yards per play (7.5 to 5.2), and had nearly dou...
FitzMagic Isn't Strong Enough To Make This Pass Legal
Tampa Bay Bucs QB Ryan Fitzpatrick almost made a magical play on a long third down in the first quarter of today’s game against Washington. With the ball at midfield, Fitzpatrick dropped back, did a supernatural job of escaping the pass rush, then took off running before he, uh, threw a forward pass...
New Saints Receiver Dez Bryant Might Have Torn His Achilles At Practice
This really sucks. Two days after Dez Bryant signed a one-year contract with the New Orleans Saints, specifically so he could join a good team and prove he was worth a multi-year deal next offseason, he left practice with an injury that might be an Achilles tear, according to multiple reports....
Dez Bryant Teaches Us A Very Valuable Lesson About Never Settling For The Browns
Dez Bryant has finally found a team that’ll give him what he wants, and it’s a pretty good team, too. The New Orleans Saints have agreed to sign the former Cowboys receiver to a one-year deal for the rest of the season....
Jayson Tatum Appears To Have Contracted Kobe Brain
This summer, Jayson Tatum worked out a bunch with Kobe Bryant, who has made his admiration for the Celtics’ young star well known. Getting some pointers from one of the most accomplished players in NBA history seems like a self-evidently good decision, but I’m starting to fear that Tatum took more t...
Yes, WWE Wrote John Cena And Daniel Bryan Off Friday's Saudi Arabia Card
After a week of unconfirmed reports that both John Cena and Daniel Bryan were refusing to work this Friday’s WWE Crown Jewel event in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, we have our answer. It wasn’t a straight one from the promotion itself, unsurprisingly—WWE had repeatedly refused to address whether Cena and Br...
Interception Machine Jameis Winston Gets Benched For Ryan Fitzpatrick<em></em>
It’s time to erase the whiteboard reading “Days Since Last Jameis Winston Turnover Party” and draw a big fat 0. The Buccaneers might have beaten the Bengals Sunday if they’d benched Winston quicker, but instead, he was allowed stick around long enough to throw four interceptions, get sacked five tim...
The Red Sox Are Rolling And It Blows
The Red Sox took a 2–0 lead in the World Series Wednesday night. It is befitting of this hell universe that another Boston sports team is on the cusp of winning a championship....
Animation Festival Drops Kobe Bryant After Protest Over 2003 Rape Allegation
Oscar-winning cartoon maker Kobe Bryant was set to be a jury member on this weekend’s second annual Animation Is Film, a Los Angeles-based film festival, but organizers rescinded his invitation after the animation community protested the inclusion of “accused rapist and sexual predator Kobe Bryant.”...
No One's Really Sure What The Dolphins Did With Ryan Tannehill
Brocktober rolls on, as the Dolphins have announced that Brock Osweiler will be under center Sunday’s game against Detroit, his second straight start after replacing Ryan Tannehill, who was a game-day scratch with a shoulder injury in Week 6. What exactly Tannehill’s injury is, and how it got so bad...
Brock Osweiler To Start Over Ryan Tannehill Against Chicago And Likely Die
A season that began with momentary optimism for the Miami Dolphins has slowly regressed to become the staple of comical mediocrity we all expected it to be. The team’s prospects against the Chicago Bears and their man-eating defensive unit for Sunday got even worse when the Dolphins announced that s...
Astros Reliever Ryan Pressly Confronts Cleveland Fan Taunting Roberto Osuna About Domestic Violence
Houston reliever Roberto Osuna didn’t see the mound in the Astros’ lone road game against the Indians in the ALDS—the 11-3 win that clinched the series—but he drew attention from at least one Cleveland fan all the same. From above the Astros bullpen, an Indians fan trash-talked Osuna about allegatio...
Fire The Suns Into The Sun
The Suns fired GM Ryan McDonough on Monday. Firing McDonough makes sense, as he has proven himself to be very bad at building a coherent NBA roster, let alone one capable of winning more games than it loses. Firing him nine days before the start of the regular season is just more flailing absurdity ...
The Dolphins Politely Waited Until The Second Half To Doo-Doo Their Pants
The Miami Dolphins started the season 3-0 before they were thoroughly exposed by the Patriots in Week 4. But they’ve always played poorly in Foxboro, so there was a chance to bounce back, albeit on the road against the 3-1 Bengals. On Sunday, the Fins actually held a 17-0 lead in the third quarter—b...
Why The Fuck Isn't Kobe Bryant A Pariah Yet?
Did you hear? Kobe Bryant is a body-care guru now. Partnering with a pair of business-bro whipdicks and a smattering of pro athletes, including NBA MVP James Harden, he’s launching a line of beauty products for athletes and men who want to pretend they are athletes. Here’s a link to an article about...
Maybe Kobe Bryant Didn't Flinch Because He Had No Reason To
On March 7, 2010, the Church of Kobestan found its holy sacrament in a Lakers-Magic regular-season game. Sports goblin Matt Barnes was inbounding the ball on the right sideline. He faked a pass directly into Kobe Bryant’s face and Kobe Bryant—he of the hyper-competitive, killer-instinct mentality, t...
Predators' Ryan Johansen Skates Off Ice After Walk-Off Goal
After seven seasons in the NHL, Predators center Ryan Johansen surely knows that the importance of the preseason pales in comparison to that of the regular season. It might be useful for the rookies, and other young guys, to develop their skills and mentally adjust to top-level game speeds, but it w...
Clemson Quarterback Trevor Lawrence Leaves Game After Hit To The Head
In the second quarter of his first start of the season, freshman quarterback Trevor Lawrence left Saturday’s game against Syracuse after taking a shoulder to the head while scrambling for some yardage....
Kelly Bryant Decides To Transfer From Clemson, Calls Benching "A Slap In The Face"
Clemson senior quarterback Kelly Bryant announced Wednesday morning that he plans to transfer after recently being benched. He will depart the program after one full season of being the starter, though not without a bevy of weird comments to take with him from head coach Dabo Swinney. ...
Ryan Fitzpatrick's Gotta Start Next Week, Right?
The second quarter was FitzTragic, as the Buccaneers QB—as of yesterday, and that’s all that’s certain—threw three interceptions on three consecutive passes. But that was an aberration, one quarter in three games. On the other hand, Ryan Fitzpatrick’s near-comeback in a 30-27 loss to the Steelers ge...