san Page 437 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

San Francisco Bar Offers Warm Welcome To Josh Hamilton
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Sad Vlad Is Not A Meme" Rangers-Giants Open Thread
David Murphy will play the outfield tonight, instead of the automatic ball-return putting green the Rangers trotted out yesterday. If the Rangers can't pull out a win, this might be the last time Texans see people smoking pot. Comments. Use them....

Last Night's Winner: The Barry Bonds Redemption Tour
So Barry Bonds wants to be a hitting coach. To most of America it's a ludicrous notion, until he returns to AT&T Park for pregame festivities, and we see just how beloved he still is in San Francisco....

Please Don't Give This Tiny Ron Washington Cocaine For Halloween
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Uribe's Homer Helps Lead Giants To Game One Victory, California Smokers To Free Doobies
A medical marijuana dispensary in San Francisco is offering patients free joints every time a Giant hits a home run in the World Series. Commendably, Tim Lincecum was still in the dugout immediately following Juan Uribe's fifth-inning blast....

Cleveland Has A Better Record Than Miami, And Dan Gilbert Does Not Regret A Thing
Dan Gilbert said today that he doesn't regret the open letter he posted for Cavs fans in July. Wise of him. Any middle school girl will allow that it's ill-advised to back down from hate letters written in Comic Sans....

Your "Not Cowboys-Niners" Rangers-Giants Open Thread
Lee/Lincecum is yet another matchup of aces. Maybe this one will produce the 20 innings of scoreless ball that assorted Halladay/Sabathia/Price/Liriano matchups failed at. This Rangers fan who quit his job to watch the series is hoping so. Musings in comments, please....

The People Have Spoken, And They Have Said, "Hannah Storm Always Dresses Mad Slutty LOL"
Click to view Last night, Hannah Storm was on hand for Heat-Celtics game coverage and wore a dress and boots. Hannah Storm wears dresses and boots quite often, but it led to an assortment of heavy-breathing on Twitter....

What We Have Learned About Brian Wilson And The Machine (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we alerted you to our investigation into Brian Wilson's strange relationship with someone called The Machine. We have since received many leads about the identity of the Machine and just what it all means....

Is Brian Wilson Into Fetish Porn Or Something? A Video Investigation
In TV interview after TV interview, Giants closer Brian Wilson makes ominous reference to a masked friend called "The Machine." Who or what is The Machine? We investigate in the video below....

Kobe Bryant Is Going To Be The Next Brett Favre
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Kobe Bryant....

Philadelphia's Poop Revenge Thwarted
According to The Mighty Dan Gross, a table of women asked a server to put laxatives in the food of a handful of Giants who were dining out in Philly Friday night. Perhaps it was the home team who could have used a case of the runs....

The 49ers Vs. Universal Health Care
Alex Smith flew to London to get his shoulder checked out in advance of Sunday's game at Wembley Stadium. Expect him to still be in the waiting room come the weekend. [AP]...

The Brian-Wilson-o'-Lantern Never Caught On, As It Invariably Made Kids Wet Themselves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Wikipedia's World Series Schedule Turned Into A Homo And/Or Facial-Hair Joke
Looks like it'll be Lincecum vs. Lee in Game One when the Rangers face off against the Beards. Get it? (H/T Jason F.) ...

Ryan Howard Finally Not Worth $125 Million To The Philadelphia Phillies?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Well, This Video Only Took About An Hour To Arrive
This guy appears rather happy that an umpire called a ball a strike to end the Philadelphia Phillies moderately disappointing, confusingly up-and-down season....

Your Phillies/Giants NLCS Game 6 Open Thread
Well, it's back to Roy Oswalt vs. Jonathan Sanchez again. Giants advance or Phils force an NLCS Game 7, something that didn't come to pass in '08 or '09....

What Bloggers Are Saying About NLCS Game 6
Here are 9 links to what guys and gals with keyboards are saying before NLCS Game 6....

Rangers Fan Bounces In Victory Celebration
You know you saw it. Did any of you DVR it? If so, share it with the rest of the class. From my recollection, they cut back to her. Might've even sprinkled a little slo-mo in....