san Page 444 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
In Which We Try To Class Up That Burger King Parking Lot Fight Video
Yesterday's fight video was so operatic in scale and intensity of emotion that we figured we'd give it the soundtrack it deserves....
Landon Donvan Staying In Los Angeles Is Good For Whom, Exactly?
The MLS Commissioner said Donovan won't be transferred for the 3-plus years remaining on his Galaxy contract. Some people aren't happy, but to that MLS says, who cares what you want?...
Burger King Parking Lot In Oakland Is The Venue For One Of The Most Disturbing Things You'll Ever See (UPDATE)
To sum up: Pantsless, mouthy pregnant ladies fighting. One mouthy pregnant lady getting jumped by two people, then getting knocked out by dude smoking a joint. Old lady then attacks mouthy pregnant lady. Police are...somewhat present? Fin. (NSFW?) [BarStoolSportsJr.]...
World's Largest-Breasted Woman's Breasts Trying To Kill Her
After more than 30 surgeries, Texan Sheyla Hershey's M-cup bosom finally had enough. Her latest procedure gave her a staph infection, and doctors have removed her implants to try and save her life. Godspeed, Sheyla.[MyFoxHouston]...
LeBron Watch, Day 55: Dan Gilbert's Top Secret Second Letter To Cleveland
The Cavs owner has already racked up a $100,000 penalty for ripping LeBron James, and now, in the wake of Zydrunas Ilgauskas's departure for Miami, he appears to be gunning for a second fine. Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio, Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight, and res...
Pablo Sandoval, Noted Fatass, To Speak To Children About Heart Health
Thanks, PR person from the American Heart Association, for letting us know about the 250-plus lb. Sandoval telling children how to eat right and keep their hearts healthy. What, was George Steinbrenner not available?...
Dan Gilbert Rebuts Jesse Jackson With Silly Font
Here's another Comic Sans missive from the Cavs' owner. C'mon, Dan, take the plunge — Zapf Dingbats. [NBA.com]...
"The Voice of God" 10/20/1910-7/11/2010
Just in from the AP: Yankees say longtime public address announcer Bob Sheppard has died....
Great Moments In Comic Sans History
In light of Dan Gilbert's laudable, laughable open letter to LeBron James, we proudly present an alternate history, in which Comic Sans is the font of choice (complete with needless scare quotes)....
Cavs Owner Channels Crazy Person: "Some People Think They Should Go To Heaven But NOT Have To Die To Get There"
Owner Dan Gilbert has written an open letter to Cavs fans in the sort of prose you normally find wrapped around a brick. Note the font: The guy makes Comic Sans seem sinister....
Italian Soccer Fan Expresses Disappointment With Indecent Exposure (NSFW)
Following the Azzurri's early exit from the World Cup, an interview with an Italian fan and his son became an instance of public nudity when an unidentified woman stepped into the frame and flashed the camera. [Dailymotion]...
Indians Minor Leaguers Arrested For Beating Up Bouncer
Three players, including the son of Astros manager Brad Mills, are accused of puncturing a man's lung in a fight outside an Akron bar called....wait for it....Whiskey Dick's. Gee, you wouldn't expect trouble at a place like that....
Johan Santana Was Accused Of Sexual Assault
A woman claimed Santana raped her on a golf course last October, but charges were never brought. [TMZ]...
Reader Submits Alleged Post-Coital Photo Of Patrick Kane
Email accompanying this photo circulating around Chicago area: "My co-worker's friend hooked up with Patrick Kane last week... and took a picture to prove it. Apparently, he was only so-so in bed."...
Two Ladies Kissing At A Baseball Game Is Technically A Sports-Related Post
Reader Sean sends along this video of some action in the seats at last night's Dodgers/Angels tilt. Let's all say thank you to Sean....
Potentially Slutty Star Of Lakers Parade Revealed
The woman offering her boning services to Lakers guard Sasha Vujacic during yesterday's parade has been revealed. The woman holding the "Spoon the crap out of me, Adam Morrison" sign is still at large. [SBB]...
Last Night's Winner: Susan Finkelstein's Erotic Phillies Fiction
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Susan Finkelstein, who offered sex for baseball tickets, and just went live with a new blog featuring her sexual fantasies of the 1980 Phillies. Especially Larry Christenson. Yuck....
Tiny Motors Are The New Growth Hormones
Tour De France officials will be inspecting all riders' frames for concealed motors this year, thanks to this Swiss Saxo Bank rider. (Thought about adding something like, "leave it to a Swiss bank employee" but Saxo Bank is technically Danish.)...
More Underaged Kids Drinking Overwatered Beer: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
Last Night's Winner: The Voices In Ron Artest's Head
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Ron Artest, who is either a crazy person or an ongoing piece of performance art or both....