science Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLB On Colossal Beer Pyramid: "Wow"
What separates man from beast? Humans are weak-skinned bipeds, but our great advantage in this life is our bigass brains. We build. To engineer is human. That’s how we survived in the jungles and took over this planet. Read one way, the story of human history is a long, inexorable march towards the ...
Is It Normal If I Always Blank On The Same Word?
I always blank on the word “reconcile.” Ok, not right now. In fact, ever since I started working on this post, the word has popped into my head with little friction, likely because I have forced myself to remember what exactly it was that I was writing about. However, this sort of recall doesn’t det...
There’s A Lot To Love About This Guy’s Intense Masturbation Diary
So I was reading this Guardian piece on beatin’ it. (Or, depending on the genitals you possess, um...“opening your ham wallet?” Jesus, that’s a terrible euphemism.) It features statistics on the types of people who beat and don’t beat it, how and when they beat it (if they indeed beat it), how often...
Your Brain Hates When You Sleep In A New Bed
Have you ever wondered how dolphins—mammals who need oxygen to survive but reside in the uniquely oxygen-deficient ocean—sleep without drowning? Don’t worry, this is going somewhere....
Report: The NFL Is Still Influencing The Direction Of Concussion Research
Outside the Lines just released a big ole report on how the NFL funds significant amounts of scientific research on the effects of concussions, as well as how they tend to steer that research towards conclusions favorable to themselves. It’s a big, complicated issue, and the report gets into all the...
Why Athletes Don't Need An Empty Bed Before Competition
The following is excerpted from This is Your Brain on Sports....
Mark Schlereth Has Some Thoughts On The Solar System
Today, son of Alaska, ESPN football analyst, and chili plug Mark Schlereth piqued our interest when he tweeted this smuggish tweet......
Worrying Is Good For You, Which Is A Little Concerning
No matter how you slice it up, waiting sucks, especially when you’re waiting on important news. So how do you cope? Do you try to push bad feelings down via yoga breathing or canned champagne or whatever, or do you embrace the fact that the news might be bad? A new study says it’s better if you’re i...
A new study attempts to identify the “greatest” sports record of all time, taking into account things like longevity, distance ahead of closest challenger, the era in which it was set, and how truly individual the achievement is. The winner? Barry Bonds’s 688 career intentional walks. [Pacific Stand...
It Turns Out Sugar Is Bad For You
Yesterday, we lost red meat to cancer, and today, we’re mourning another casualty: sugar, which has been deemed toxic by a new study....
Science Says A Hot Dog Can Give You Cancer
A World Health Organization group has found that red meat and processed meats probably cause cancer. That basically implicates all the good stuff: ham, bacon, hot dogs, and delicious, delicious hamburgers. Your cookouts are about to get really sad. ...
The Rays Hope To Save Their Pitchers With New High-Tech Cameras
Yahoo’s Jeff Passan is reporting that the Tampa Bay Rays, a team that has always been at the forefront of baseball’s analytical revolution, have installed a new high-tech camera system at their home ballpark that they hope will help them save their pitchers from injury....
Don't Coat Your Innards With Space Oil To Conserve Ketchup
You know how there's always a little bit of ketchup that you never quite get out of the bottle? It coats the inside; even if you do the thing where you stand the bottle on its head for 24 hours to let it all ooze down close to the nozzle, some of it never comes out, and goes in the trash....
Read The Bullshit Charts A "Scientist" Is Hawking To Sports Teams
Every team wants the perfect draft pick. It's a deceptively simple-sounding goal that haunts every executive in sports, because they are being asked to do the nearly impossible—predict what human beings will do. Sure, every few years a player like Andrew Luck or Bryce Harper comes along who simply...
Jimmy Kimmel Got Some Doctors To Take An Educated Crap On Anti-Vaxxers
When Jimmy Kimmel isn't being a quasi-comedian whose life mission is to think up ways of lying to as many people as possible simultaneously in his quest for easily YouTubeable viral sensations that he can then sell ads against so as to turn a larger personal profit, the dude makes sense. The above c...
Curt Schilling Has Disproved Evolution
I'm going to cut straight to the chase: Curt Schilling has no fucking clue what he's talking about. For the past 14 hours he has been sending out links to Geocities-looking websites and arguing with people about evolution on Twitter. Despite hundreds of people letting him know that he's wrong, Sch...
Mike Leach's Understanding Of Anatomy Is Confusing
Washington State quarterback Connor Halliday left Saturday's contest against USC with a brutal leg injury. The initial reports were that Halliday broke both his tibia and his fibula, and we still think that's what happened. We think....
World Boxing Council Shortens Female Matches Because Of Periods
The World Boxing Council recently issued a statement to the effect that it would no longer sanction any fight between female boxers that is scheduled to go longer than 10 rounds or any bout with rounds lasting longer than two minutes. Part of the reason they have made this decision is because ladies...
Yes, It’s OK To Hate Russell Wilson
Before we get to the Funbag, I think the time has come for a treasury of GREAT MOMENTS IN BEING CAUGHT MASTURBATING. So if you have a tale of getting apprehended with your pants down, send it my way. On to your letters…...
Genius Bear Is Too Smart And Strong For Bullshit-Ass Electric-Deer Gag
Some scientist or whatever decided he wanted to hang an electrified deer carcass in the woods in order to see what would happen when a bear tried to eat the deer. Why did he do this? I don't know, man. Because he's a dickhead. But the good news is that this experiment was quickly and thoroughly torn...