scream Page 123 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mario Balotelli Has Pretty Bad Hair, Scores A Pretty Good Goal
Mario Balotelli made his first Serie A start for AC Milan yesterday, and despite a questionable haircut—did he go to former Milan teammate Stephan El Shaarawy’s hairdresser and ask for the Vegeta?—he opened his team’s scoring with this absolutely perfect free kick:...
DeAndre Yedlin Did Something Good Today! USA! USA! USA!
You see that up there? That’s one of those rarest of sights, an American donning the shirt of a (ostensibly at least) top-tier European club. Yes, DeAndre Yedlin made his first ever start for Sunderland today, and he actually did something good, too!...
Robert Lewandowski Loses His Motherfucking Mind, Scores 5 Times In 9 Minutes
Robert Lewandowski came on for Bayern Munich at halftime in a match they were losing 1-0 to Wolfsburg. Five minutes and 40 seconds into his appearance, his first goal hit the back of the net. Almost exactly nine minutes later, his fifth goal did the same. This man is on fire....
Jesus Christ, Manuel Neuer, What Are You Doing?
Manuel Neuer had to be so tight standing there at midfield watching that shot, praying it wouldn’t sail into the empty net he had just ran a good 50 yards away from in a crazed and failed attempt to clear the ball. That it didn’t go in goes to show how astounding Florenzi’s wondergoal last week was....
Marseille Fans Kind Of Upset With Former Player, Hang Him In Effigy
Mathieu Valbuena starred for French club Marseille for eight long, prosperous seasons before moving on to richer pastures last summer. He was their best player and the crowd favorite for many a year, and when he left for Dynamo Moscow the club retired his number. After one season in Russia, he’s bac...
Diego Costa And José Mourinho Are The Shitheads We Need
The more you think about it the more inevitable it seems that José Mourinho—the ne plus ultra of managerial shit-talking, barb-throwing, and incessant needling of rivals—and Diego Costa—his dispositional equivalent on the field, only with elbows substituted for verbal barbs as his projectile of choi...
Carlos Tévez Snaps Poor Man's Shin Bone With Horrible Tackle [GRAPHIC]
The commentators say all that needs to be said about the increasingly gross camera angles showing Carlos Tévez giving Ezequiel Ham a new joint in the middle of his shin: “Ai ai ai ai ai ai ai. ... Ooooo, no no no no no no no! ... AHHHHH!”...
Sebastian Giovinco Continues To Tear Up MLS
Sebastian Giovinco scored a pair of goals and assisted another today as Toronto FC beat the Colorado Rapids 3-1. Both scores were fairly simple for Giovinco, on account of the massive gaps defenders left him, but he got himself to the right spot with ease each time. He continues to be at the center ...
Manchester City Drop First Points Of The Season
Thanks to a few moments of lax defending, a David Silva pre-game injury, and some timely Adrián saves, West Ham beat Manchester City 2-1 today to sour the league debuts of Nicolás Otamendi and Kevin De Bruyne. ...
Zlatan Books Entire Town Square So Fans Can Watch Him Beat Down On His Old Team
Soccer has taken Zlatan Ibrahimović (or is it the other way around?) all around the world. From Paris to Barcelona to Turin to Milan and beyond, Zlatan came, saw, and conquered many of Europe’s greatest cities. Now he’s back where it all started, and he’s making sure the whole city gets a view of T...
FIFA Secretary Jérôme Valcke Suspended For Alleged Ticket Selling Racket
Jérôme Valcke, outgoing FIFA president Sepp Blatter’s second-in-command, is currently under investigation by soccer’s governing body concerning allegations that he was involved in a scheme to resell World Cup tickets for grossly inflated prices....
Barcelona Face A Challenge They Can’t Buy Their Way Out Of
Barcelona’s dominant victory over Atlético Madrid this weekend felt like a statement. It’d be crazy to claim that the reigning Spanish and European champions, armed with nearly the exact same squad that mowed down all comers in last season’s historically great campaign, were underestimated or overlo...
Hulk Kick Ball Hard
You’d think by this point soccer balls would know better than to make Hulk mad but apparently not. Oh well, their loss is our gain....
Liverpool Shooting Themselves In The Foot By Not Taking Europa League Seriously
Last weekend, Liverpool lost in sorry fashion to Manchester United, their hated foe and rival for one of the Premier League’s all-important top four spots. That result, plus the draw with Arsenal a couple weeks prior, likely shut the door on what in the best of cases would’ve been an unlikely run to...
Alessandro Florenzi Shoots From Goddamn Mars, Draws Roma Level With Barcelona
Barcelona keeper Marc-André ter Stegen has already used his aggressive positioning to break up Roma attacks, but this is always a threat when your keeper stands so far off his line. But holy smokes, this is some hit....
God Smites The Manchesters Because England Sucks
England, man. Their clubs spend all that money on some of the best players in the world, get all that media hype about being the best league in the world, and right as you start to buy into it all they meet a couple underdogs from Europe and prove yet again that England isn’t as good as it’s made ou...
Man City's Vincent Kompany Uses Juventus Defender's Head To Score Goal
Hehehe! This is basically the soccering equivalent of the old “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!” trick....
![Man Utd's Luke Shaw Suffers Gruesome, Leg-Breaking Tackle [WARNING: GRAPHIC]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1431963662981963334.jpg)
Man Utd's Luke Shaw Suffers Gruesome, Leg-Breaking Tackle [WARNING: GRAPHIC]
Manchester United full back Luke Shaw had to be carted off the pitch in the first half of their Champions League match against PSV, on a count of a busted leg thanks to the tackle you can see below. Here’s a GIF of Shaw’s flopping leg, which, you’ve been warned, is pretty gnarly:...
Manchester City Are Soaring In England; Now They Must Fly As High In Europe
Manchester City appear to be on the precipice of something great. Years of unstinting investment by their rich owners has already paid off domestically in the form of two Premier League titles in four seasons, plus what in all likelihood will be a third come the end of the current campaign. But any ...
U.S. Attorney General Expects More FIFA Arrests, Maybe Even Sepp Blatter's
U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch said Monday that she anticipated “pursuing additional charges against individuals and entities” in the government’s ongoing probe into corruption within FIFA and soccer more generally. ...