scream Page 154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dozens Of Seagulls Straight Chillin' On The Pitch At Aussie Soccer Match
These are the highlights of Melbourne Victory's 2-0 win over Wellington Phoenix. More impressive than either goal scored is that the match continued on in the middle of a veritable bird storm, with dozens of gulls just walking on or flitting about the field and players like they owned the place....
Right Now, Alexis Sánchez Is The Most Destructive Force In Soccer
For the uninitiated, Arsenal striker Alexis Sánchez is a demon. He's an agent of chaos, and identifiable by a single, recognizable trait: when he approaches opposing players on the soccer field, they start fucking up....
The Brits Are Tearing Shit Up In Madrid
It's comforting to know Americans aren't the only ones known for loud and obnoxious behavior when abroad. Our cousins over in England are similarly famous for heading over to mainland Europe and bringing the ruckus. Hence these British fans in Madrid ahead of today's Liverpool-Real Madrid match, and...
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....
Israeli Soccer Brawl Cancels Match, Continues Next Day At Courthouse
Yesterday's Tel Aviv Derby between Hapoel and Maccabi was called off late in the first half as fans rushed the pitch. But that wasn't enough; supporters of the two sides met up again this morning at a court hearing for those arrested yesterday, and began brawling again. People are fucking nuts....
The Beast Of Brazil: A Savage Trip To The Dark Heart Of The World Cup
This feature appears in the new issue of Howler, an independent magazine about soccer produced in the United States. You can order a copy here....
Celta Takes 1-0 Lead At Camp Nou With Nifty Backheel
Nolito delivered a perfect backheel to Joaquin Larrivey that gave Celta an inexplicable 1-0 lead in the second half against Barça at Camp Nou. Neymar, Messi, and Suárez have thus far been unable to find the goal; can Celta pull off the upset?...
James Scores Highlight Reel Goal On The Volley, Puts Real Madrid Up 2-0
It's just another day in La Liga for Real Madrid, which is having an easy time against Granada. Here's a terrific goal from James Rodriguez, a volley over the keeper's head from about 15 yards out....
Wanyama Takes Advantage Of Awful Goalkeeping, Scores From 35 Yards
Still impressive, but that's some poor decision-making by the keeper....
Bradley Wright-Phillips Scores 90th-Minute Goal, Puts Red Bulls Past KC
Sporting KC's season is over after Bradley Wright-Phillips scored in the 90th minute to put his New York Red Bulls into the MLS Eastern Conference semifinals....
Fanboy Government Agents Illegally Spied On Costa Rican World Cup Hero
Keylor Navas was the best player on a Costa Rica team that exceeded all expectations in this summer's World Cup. Because of the goalkeeper's heroics, neutrals fell in love with him, Real Madrid fell in love with him, and Costa Ricans especially fell in love with him—a little too much, it turns out....
That Isn't Mario Balotelli, You Dimwitted Politician
Does that look like Mario Balotelli to you?...
Idiot On The Field Slaps Franck Ribéry With Scarf, Flips Him Double Bird
Just because your team was getting spanked 3-1 by Bayern in the DFB Pokal doesn't give you the right to accost Mr. Ribéry like that, Hamburg fan. Though the surprising part is how rarely soccer idiots on the field are malicious assholes like this guy....
Pornhub-Sponsored Soccer Team Threatened With Ban
It started off as a prank. Then Pornhub caught wind, and everything went to shit. ...
You Have To See These Indonesian Soccer Dudes Throw This Match
Words like "unbelievable" are thrown around too often in sports, but the highlight video above and especially the extended clips below of two Indonesian soccer teams throwing a match is exactly what the word unbelievable was meant to express. But then you realize that they're doing so to maybe save ...
Luis Suárez Is All The Way Back
Like, c'mon. This shouldn't be legal. Sure, it's only the Catalan Supercup, but Espanyol are a real team and Luis Suárez still had to juke the defender out of his shorts before chipping an outrageous pass onto the head of Gerard Piqué. Here's the vine:...
Ronaldo's Girlfriend Reacts To Flirty Jokes With Coldest Ice-Grill
Just look at that face. Yes, it's the face of Irina Shayk, super model and Cristiano Ronaldo's long-time girlfriend, but it's also the face of a woman that is FED. UP. with jokes about her man's underwear modeling and waxing regimen....
Even Carlo Ancelotti Wishes Sepp Blatter Would Shut The Fuck Up
FIFA has released its Ballon d'Or shortlist, which means Sepp Blatter can take time away from his day job of punching up FIFA propaganda and gets to enjoy some of that media facetime he loves so much. Like you, Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti would prefer Sepp spared us his hot takes....
The Assassination Of Iker Casillas By The Coward José Mourinho
Real Madrid handily beat Barcelona this weekend, with adulation bestowed upon many of the individual victors for their performance. Isco proved his grit and talent in fighting for a spot on a team lousy with great attacking midfielders and excelling when given the chance. James Rodríguez showed why ...