si Page 865 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is How Captain Awesome Signs His Name
Deadspin has acquired the official petition for change of name that Captain Awesome, the Oregon man formerly known as Douglas Allen Smith, Jr., submitted to the Circuit Court of Lane County in late September. This is his legal signature....

"What am I going to get, five rebounds? I'm still not going to be president with five rebounds."
Ron Artest is not concerned with rebounds or points. "What am I going to do with 10 points?" he asked the LA Times. "What am I going to do with 15 points? I'm going to be MVP of the NBA?"...

The NFL's Helmet-To-Helmet Rules Are Absolutely Pointless
Heath Miller sustained a concussion on a brutal helmet-to-helmet hit from Baltimore's Jameel McClain. This is what the NFL's trying to prevent. They're doing a damn shitty job....

Wisconsin Student Paper Names, Shames Students Re-Selling Rose Bowl Tickets
The Badger Herald is pissed off, and taking names. Well, listing names. The names of UW students who snapped up coveted Rose Bowl tickets, and are attempting to scalp them. As strong proponents of public shaming, we stand with you, Badger Herald....

The Florida Marlins Will Try To Take Soldiers' Minds Off All Those Bullets Flying At Them
[Ed note: Yeah, that pic might could actually be Val Kilmer, but I'm of the mind that Wes Helms and Kilmer share the same soul after looking at it for a good long while.]...

There Was A Damn Good Ending To A Football Game That Damn Near Nobody Watched
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Greatest Collection Of C-List Celebrities Doing Bad Karaoke On A Beach Ever Seen On Norwegian Television
We don't ask you to watch 6-minute long videos too often. We're asking you now....

Do NOT Put Aqua Velva On Your Genitals
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Last Night's Winner: FIFA's Made-For-TV Spectacle
The 2018 and 2022 World Cups will be played in temperatures of 35 below and 135 degrees, respectively (if our national stereotypes are still accurate). They will also go to countries with reputations for corruption. It didn't stop us from watching....

Select Your Own All-Time Greatest Jewish-American Basketball Team!
Hey, this is funnnn! It spits out customized scouting reports and everything. (My chosen ones, The Stars of David Stern, have "terrible" chemistry thanks to the "notoriously testy" Art Heyman.) Gregg Easterbrook should make one for the entertainment industry. [Tablet/FreeDarko]...

Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater: Barry Sanders
Welcome to Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater. Today's entry: Lions great Barry Sanders set to Clint Mansell & The Kronos Quartet's overture from the Requiem For A Dream soundtrack....

In Which We Veer Toward Animal Cruelty In Our Inaugural Lobster Roof Race
We received a LobsterGram, it's less delicious than a candygram, but it's more fun because it comes with live lobsters. We didn't know what to do with them (before cooking them) so we raced them on the Gawker HQ roof deck. Watch....

Sidney Crosby And NHL Special Treatment: Much A-Slew About Nothing?
Last night, Ryan Callahan and Sidney Crosby were jostling for position. Crosby appeared to kick Callahan's skate out from under him. That's called a slew foot, and it's illegal. Callahan was called for interference....

Your Barcelona-Real Madrid Scoring Bonanza Goal Roundup
The Clasico match between Barcelona and Real Madrid was absurdly lopsided. Barca netted five goals in an utter domination of Cristiano and the rest of Jose Mourinho's crew. Enjoy our compilation of the bloodletting....

And Now A Cavalcade Of Dick Puns Related To A Singapore Water Polo Team's Swimsuits
The story: A water polo team were given a dressing down on Thursday for wearing trunks with an ‘inappropriate' likeness of their state flag. Oh it's so lovely to see this ball propped so high on this tee......

Your Barcelona/Real Madrid Second Half Open Thread
It's 2-0 Barcelona at Camp Nou. I know I'm not the only person asking myself 1) Why did Ronaldo get away with shoving Barca coach Pep Guardiola without taking fist to face and 2) Messi really dove, didn't he?...

Before The Storm, After The Sunshine Band: The Prelude To Disco Demolition Night
Our attention was brought to this collection of 35 rare photos taken prior to a Tigers/White Sox game on July 12, 1979. Not hours later, Comiskey Park would play host to the figurative end of the 70s, and the closest thing to a riot at an American sporting event since....

At FSU-Florida Tailgates, Beer-Bonging May Be Interrupted By An Ass-Jiggling Gal Falling Off A Pick-up Truck
Hopefully, the poor girl in the huge sunglasses got to finally suck down that funnel she'd been diligently training for all day. She seemed rattled. [YouTube]...

Real Madrid And Barcelona Could Provide The Best Soccer Game On Earth Tomorrow
It's a waste of time to try and convince soccer haters of the excellence that tomorrow's el Clasico between Ronaldo's Real Madrid and Messi's Barcelona potentially offers. It's also unnecessary to remind fans of the 2:55-ish p.m. EST start....

Nevada Fans See Boise Drivin' 'Round Town With The BCS Bid They Love, And They're Like, F*ck You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....