si Page 997 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your NL West "Preview"
Whew, last one. We'd like to point out a couple of the pictures above. First, we enjoyed choosing a picture of Tony Clark for the D-Backs one, considering he's the opposite of a Diamondback this year. Second: Steve Finley is on the Rockies? Wow!...

Your NL Central "Preview"
Look, guys: We didn't pick the Cardinals! (We still think they'll win the wild card.) Yes, our flirtation with the Brewers continues; we actually picked them to win the wild card at midseason last year. So there's that....

Your NL East "Preview"
We should probably warn you: The Phillies are one of those teams we pick to win the National League East a lot. If you haven't noticed, they haven't won the NL East in a long, long time. But we're gonna try again anyway....

Your AL West "Preview"
All right, last one of the day until tomorrow ... we think this is actually the easiest division to pick, which is why, obviously, we're going to have it entirely wrong....

Your AL Central "Preview"
Everyone says it's the toughest division in baseball, but we think it's just the mostly hotly contested: You could pretty much interchange any of those top four teams and not sounds like a fool. But those Royals ......

Your AL East "Preview"
All right, whether you're ready for it or not, baseball is starting Sunday night. (The Mets will watch the Cardinals raise their World Series title flag. The Cardinals won the World Series last year.) The full slate of games kick off Monday, so we figured it was time to start previewing some divisio...

And Then The Woodpeckers Arrived, And Suddenly It Was All Over
It's the story you've heard so many times before: Your local university wants to expand its athletic facilities, but construction is thwarted because there are naked people living in the trees. Cal's plan to cut down a grove of oak trees on campus to build a $125 million athletic training center has...

NCAA Pants Party: Wisconsin Vs. Texas A&M Corpus Christi
Wisconsin Badgers (28-5) vs. Texas A&M Corpus Christi Islanders (26-6) When: Friday, 2:35 p.m. Where: Chicago...

NCAA Pants Party: Indiana Vs. Gonzaga
Indiana Hoosiers (20-10) vs. Gonzaga Bulldogs (23-10) When: Thursday, 9:40 p.m. Where: Sacramento...

Stuck On You: Isiah Thomas Edition
It's time once again for Stuck On You, where players, coaches and owners decide that after everything, all they've ever wanted was right there in their own backyard the whole time. This week we lead off with Madison Square Garden Chairman James Dolan, who looks across the room at embattled Knicks co...

The Caveman Guy Is Getting His Own Show ... With Phil Simms?
So here's a show we would watch: It turns out that the GEICO Caveman commercials are getting their own television show. We have no problem with this idea; we find the Caveman skits hilarious, particularly the one where he's on the cable news show....

NHL To Simon: Pack Your Crap And Get Out
Because we've never really shown it, here's the tomahawk chop by the Islanders' Chris Simon on the Rangers' Ryan Hollweg from Thursday. After mulling the attack over the weekend, the NHL doled out a 25-game suspension for Hollweg for thrusting his neck at Simon in a vicious manner. Or, no, the other...

Wisconsin Badgers
1. Old School Quickies. Bucky Badger's full name is Buckingham U. Badger. Is Minnesota's Golden Gopher that sophisticated? I doubt it. The Badger mascot actually stems from when the territory was dubbed "The Badger State," not because of animals in the region, but rather an association with miners i...

Indiana Hoosiers
1. Larry Bird and What Might Have Been. The 1976 Indiana Hoosiers—the last undefeated team in men's college basketball history—are generally considered to be the second-best team of all time behind 1968 UCLA. But remember that West Baden/French Lick native Larry Bird was successfully recruited by Bo...

You Have No Idea How Hard It Is Not To Make A "Pokey" Joke
This, friends, is Pokey Chatman, who, until about 16 hours ago, was one of the most successful young coaches in women's college basketball, leading her LSU Tigers into the NCAA tournament and earning the respect of her peers. Now, though, she's decidedly less than that: Now she's a disgraced former ...

Sports Illustrated Apologizes For All The Diarrhea
If the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition didn't have enough problems already — sorry, guys, it's not 1985 anymore; you have no idea how much more access we have to naked people now — it appears now they've got another issue: When you think of the SI swimsuit edition, you just have to think of Hepa...

A Sad, Base, Disgusting Poll, And We, Frankly, Are Ashamed Of You
We continue to feel bad for attractive female sideline reporters. They work hard, they travel like crazy, they put in the hours ... and no matter what they do, all they ever receive for their efforts is "ooh, boobies!" It has to be frustrating, and we do our best to rise above it around here....

Ohio State Helps Billy Packer Celebrate His Birthday
The Buckeyes just downed the Badgers 49-48 after Ron Lewis rejected a last second 12-foot attempt by Wisconsin. This was immediately followed by the fans of the #1 team in the country rushing the court....

Why Do They Mic Up Golfers, Anyway?
For all the talk of Tim Hardaway over the last week, we mustn't forget this grand moment from last year's Masters, when Vijay Singh, upset with a slicing drive, croaked "Fucking Faggot Motherfucker!" in his special Vijah Singh accent....

ESPN: We Pan The Crowd, You Decide
Look, according to union rules, technicians in the ESPN video truck get one 15-minute coffee break every two hours. So if you're the director, sometimes you need to delegate. "Go ahead and choose which section of the crowd to pan, Buzz. I'm finishing my danish." Or, you know, perhaps every fifth per...