si Page 998 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No More "Conversation" On Page 2
As many of you noticed yesterday, our friends at ESPN.com have discontinued ESPN Conversation on its Page 2 columns. They're calling it the end of the "Beta" testing, though we're not sure how much sense that makes: Why would you test something on the most easily-commented upon stories just to push ...
Trying To Understand The Illini Car Crash
Now that Illini center Brian Carlwell's condition after Monday's accident in a car driven by teammate Jamar Smith has been upgraded to "fair," we think it's probably OK to look at some of the more bizarre aspects to the crash....
The Eye Of The Tiger Will Save A Serbian Village
Zitiste is a small Serbian town with a population just over 3,000. I guess the village is only mentioned in the news when they're hit with floods, and they're getting tired of it. To counteract this, they're spending money on not some sort of drainage or irrigation system, but... a big Rocky statue....
The Bear Had No Use For Sideline Reporters
The more I watch this, the more I laugh. That's legendary Alabama coach Paul "Bear" Bryant, just barely stopping short of saying something like, "Look, you stupid bitch." Today's coaches (for the most part) are too publicly polite to embarrass a sideline reporter by pointing out the absurdity of the...
Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....
Hey, Why Is Kenny Chesney Suddenly Calling Me?
In our original neck of the woods in Mattoon, Ill., NFL loyalties are rather split. Some people root for the Chicago Bears (four hours away), some root for the Indianapolis Colts (90 minutes away) and some odd souls hopped on the Rams bandwagon (two hours away). (Some insane people stuck with the fo...
Come On, Ask Him About Chad Pennington
When one of the editors of Kissing Suzy Kolber has his picture taken next to a clearly thrilled Joe Namath ... well, that gets itself its own posts. Sometimes worlds collide a bit too much around these parts....
Ah, To Be Able To Scream, Dance And Touch Athletes' Heads Again ...
This video, shot after Indiana's upset victory over Wisconsin last evening, is mostly grueling to watch, and definitely has that Blair Witch shaky-nausea feel to it. But, even though it is hated Indiana, we couldn't help but be charmed by the great college tradition of rushing the court after a big ...
Not A Sign That Will Help You Get On TV
Just to get your wind down your Tuesday afternoon with a little crass, lowest-common-denominator business, here's a sign from a Pittsburgh Penguins game the other evening....
Sportswriters Are So Goddamned Cool
Our friends at Gelf Magazine point out the newest trend in newspaper sports columnists column photos: The full body shot!...
ESPN Continues To Axe Things You Probably Don't Watch
First, Quite Frankly, and now this. ESPN Classic is ceasing to create and air original programming. Norby Williamson, ESPN's executive vice president, let the ESPN Classic people know on Friday that they were being reassigned. ESPN Classic will continue on as a network for the time being, sans origi...
Look Who's Talking On ESPNU
Well, well, look who's branching out. Ladies and gentlefolk, meet the newest college basketball analyst for ESPNU....
The Pac-Man Jones/George Jones Collaboration
Some kind of incident involving an all-terrain vehicle, Pac-Man Jones, and his neighbor, country music legend George Jones, has forged a friendship between Pac-Man and George (no relation). I expect them to release an album together very soon....
Cultural Oddsmaker: What Will Tiger Woods Name His Baby?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Tubby Smith's Ineptitude Captured Through Majesty of Song
The delirious, one-track mind of University of Kentucky basketball fan "Katman", author of Tubby Smith bashing blog Dynasty Defenders, has reached a new level of absurdity thanks to this recently released "music" video which aims to spread the word of his deranged gospel via this YouTube masterpiec...
Nick Saban Brings Promise, Destruction to Alabama
Nick Saban and his presidential motorcade rolled into Tuscaloosa late yesterday afternoon may have startled gawking locals distracted by the big, fancy automobile rolling through town, as the Tuscaloosa News reports that "Saban's Motorcade Distracts Drivers":...
Tiger Mauls Helpless Leprechaun As Charlie Weis Looks On And Does Nothing
We are happy to report that the Sugar Bowl was one of several games available on iTunes this year, so we hope all of you Notre Dame fans took advantage of that. Just the thing to view over and over again during church. After LSU's 41-14 win Wednesday night — the Irish's ninth straight bowl defeat ...
K-Fed Will Totally Kick Your Ass, Bitches
When our chimp-like ancestors first descended from the trees and began walking upright about 6 million years ago, little did they know that it would lead to this. You should have warned us, Charles Darwin. Damn you to hell!...
About Last Night
What you missed while you were trying to nail your girlfriend on your parent's couch while watching Prime. •College football: I wanna be a cowboy, baby. I can smell a pig from a mile away. • NBA: Nowitski...goooood! • College football: Rutgers caps off memorable season with win in bowl game that wil...
Barbaro Fans Finally Go Too Far, Piss Off Dr. Richardson
We conclude our Barbaro coverage for 2006 with this message from Dr. Dean Richardson, chief surgeon of the University of Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center:...