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This One's For Anyone Who's Ever Wanted To Tell A Sideline Reporter "I Love You, You're So Pretty And Beautiful"
Greg from Lemont, Sarah Kustok from CSN, you two are just about the cutest couple and this isn't creepy at all. Make it happen. [CSN Chicago]...
![Sadly, The World Will Never Know Who Shaq "Blames For That Shit" [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4o93efncp6jpg.jpg)
Sadly, The World Will Never Know Who Shaq "Blames For That Shit" [UPDATE]
This slip-up came at the tail end of a conversation on TNT about Twinkie-maker Hostess declaring bankruptcy, an entirely reasonable topic for a studio show previewing a night of NBA action. I assume it's that bankruptcy filing Shaquille O'Neal means by "that shit," but we were all sent to commerc...

Expect To See A Lot More Of Jim Rome, As CBS Plans To Use Him For Nearly All The Sports They Broadcast
Details of Jim Rome's future with CBS emerged today when new boss Sean McManus showed up on Rome's radio show to discuss all the ways the Tiffany Network plans to exploit their acquisition....

Watch The Republican Presidential Field Try And Fail To Pretend They Know When The College Football Championship Is Played
Last night's Republican presidential debate moderators, in a gesture of cruelty posing as kindness, asked the candidates to wrap up by saying what they'd rather be doing with this Saturday night, giving them a chance to show off their human sides. If any of these people were human a year ago, thou...

Here's The <em>Saturday Night Live</em> Sketch In Which Charles Barkley Does His Shaq Impersonation
Last night's Charles Barkley-hosted SNL was more miss than hit, and even some viewers of this five-minute riff on TNT's Inside The NBA called it "the worst ten minutes in SNL history."...

U.K.'s Royal Mint Releases Coin Explaining The Offside Rule
Now that 2012 is upon us, the U.K.'s Royal Mint is releasing 29 new coins, each featuring a different Olympic sport. Above is the soccer coin, the reverse of which contains a handy diagram explaining just what constitutes offside. The image "is designed to provoke discussion," but I think the real d...

ESPN Keeps Trying To Pretend It Cared About The Bernie Fine Molestation Allegations All Along
ESPN's Mark Schwarz, the reporter who spent eight years not reporting the story that a Syracuse ballboy had accused assistant coach Bernie Fine of molesting him, has now taken his own turn in the spotlight on the ESPN Rationalization Tour by talking to Sports Illustrated's Richard Deitsch. As Deitsc...

Eight Years Later, ESPN Reports What It Knows About The Claims Against Bernie Fine
"I'm not Joe Paterno, I knew nothing," Bob Ley said on ESPN's Outside the Lines. Ley was quoting Syracuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim, who was responding to the investigation of sex-abuse claims against assistant coach Bernie Fine....

Biggest Presidential Penis: WHO YA GOT?!
Before we get to the Funbag this week, I'm in Brooklyn for a Gelf Magazine thing on Thursday if you feel like going. It's at Pacific Standard. Afterwards, we can all get drunk and watch Tebow run the T formation against the Jets. Also, I'll be at the National Press Club book fair tonight signing boo...

The Many Faces Of Bomani Jones
Paul Finebaum doing what Paul Finebaum does was too much for the Outside The Lines panel to mentally handle. Most notably, it transformed mild-mannered Bomani Jones into a cartoon character. We've screengrabbed some of his more expressive countenances, so that history will never forget....

A Hank Williams Jr. Discussion Turned ESPN's OTL Into <em>The Morton Downey Jr. Show</em>
I mean, I think this conversation was about Hank Williams Jr. It was less than a minute old when Paul Finebaum, an Alabama radio personality, said Dave Zirin had uttered the "single stupidest [statement] [he's] ever heard in the history of this program." After that, Bomani Jones made some hilariou...

Michael Oher Would Appreciate It If You'd Tell Him Who This Steve Jobs Guy Was
Drop the Baltimore Ravens offensive lineman and Sandra Bullock Oscar-prop a Twitter line at @michaeloher if you can help. If, in fact, "who was Steve Jobs" was a question and not a meta declarative statement....

Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer Last Night (Video)
There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set al...

Jayson Werth Can't Even Help His Favorite "Racing President" Nationals Mascot Win
"Give Werth credit: he tried to force the issue Friday night, hanging around on the warning track between innings and attempting to block George, Tom, and Abe on the track in right field (with a little help from members of the Nats bullpen). Alas, Teddy still did not win." [Nationals Enquirer]...

32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The 2011 Football Outsiders Almanac
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12 or order the book for $21.95....

Matt Cooke Is Gonna Try Really, Really Hard Not To Be A Cheap-Shot Artist Anymore
As Matt Cooke kept busy last winter by performing his usual song-and-dance of blindside hits and head shots on Penguins opponents, his wife, Michelle, was in the hospital battling a kidney infection. The ordeal, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, was known by his teammates and coaches—and ...

This Evening: A Monkey Jumps Out Of The Stands To Thwart Teddy Roosevelt
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 17, the day we received crucial life lessons from Conan the Barbarian. Video via DC Sports Bog. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Lady In Steph Curry Jersey And Leggings At Outside Lands Gives Us Our First Floopster Of The Season
At first I thought this was a man, which would have been a hoopster to end all hoopsters. Dangly earrings, big scarf, a ponytail, leggings, and a cool player's jersey....

Chase Utley's Inside-The-Park Homer Is Better Than Anything That Happened In Your Game Tonight
The best part (or worst, if you're a Braves or Mets fan) of all of this is just how excited the crowd, and the announcer, gets. It's late in the game. Philly's already up 5-1, over the Giants, whose 3.62 runs scored per game is the worst among all division leaders. Philly's also got the NL East sa...

Shaq Hired To Hang Out With Charles Barkley On A Regular Basis
Just six weeks into his retirement, Shaquille O'Neal has agreed to a multi-year deal with TNT to be a member of Inside the NBA. He'll join Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, and Kenny Anderson Ernie Johnson in the cavernous studio next season, and because he is very weird — and as long as he doesn't encr...