side Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Patrick Kane Is More Alcohol Than Man At This Point
It's apparently Patrick Kane week here at Deadspin. So please accept this dump of assorted drunken sightings of the Blackhawks hero tooling around with Jimmy Buffett, rocking the flat-brimmed Reds cap, and getting "iced."...
Former Aspiring Olympian Files Sex-Abuse Suit Against US Swimming, Coach
The USA Swimming sex scandal deepens, what with former Olympic hopeful Jancy Thompson talking to ABC News about filing a sexual-misconduct lawsuit. It includes accusations of being forced to wear a dog collar....
Startling Penalty Miss Alert: Spanish Second Division Edition
Mind doctors will tell you that the key to a decent penalty is a technique called "positive visualisation". Mehmet Aurelio is not at the forefront of this practice....
Deadspin Classic: Stephon Marbury Is Puzzled By My Godlessness
Contrary to earlier reports out of China, Stephon Marbury says he's still holding out hope of signing with the Heat. Three years ago, I sat down with Marbury, and the two of us discussed other providential matters....
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Eric, University of Wisconsin-Parkside
From a reader named Mark: This is an essay from a former University of Wisconsin-Parkside wrestler for an intro to writing class....
Down Goes Probert
What, too soon? My bad, but make no mistake about this fact: It's quintessentially bad-ass to have your coffin transported via motorcycle sidecar to your funeral, which is exactly what was done for the late Bob Probert yesterday....
ESPN Finally Discovers Purple Drank
Outside The Lines, always on the forefront of emerging trends (that's not even sarcasm), just did a story on the menace that is Purple Drank. Next up: exposés on Jenkem, poppers, and GRIDS. [OTL]...
Here's Video Of The U.S. Getting Jobbed By A Ref. Again.
This run by the U.S. in the 23rd minute resulted in yet another disallowed goal for the USMNT after Clint Dempsey's strike was called off on a questionable offsides call. Here's video proof that it was pretty much nonsense....
ESPN Prepares For Life Without Erin Andrews; A New Sideline Princess Waits In The Wings
The end of the Erin Andrews era, as of right this minute, appears moderately imminent. Some insiders think she's crazy to leave. Some think she's crazy to stay. But whatever decision Team Andrews makes, ESPN comes out victorious....
The King Of The Ferret Leggers: The Classic Tale Of Sportsmen Who Put Carnivores Down Their Pants
In his new book, Rick Reilly writes at length about ferret legging, a bloody endurance competition wherein the athlete stuffs a ferret down his pants. In 1987, Outside's Donald Katz wrote the first, and still the best, ferret-legging account. Here it is....
Gene Simmons Kept His Love Gun In Holster With ESPN Makeup Gal, Suit Claims
Yes, they call him Dr. Love, but he didn't want to meet this ESPN makeup artist, Victoria Jackson, in the Ladies Room. It's Hotter Than Hell, in there. The Firehouse, though? That's fine....
<em>The Blind Side</em> Is Cursed By A Home-Wrecking Demon
This is what the New York Daily News has suggested, due to some of the recent problems suffered by members of the cast of Michael Lewis's book-turned-sapfest. It's even ensnared Lawrence Taylor in its wickedness....
Get Ready For The Worst Sports Show Ever
A helpful reader was trolling Craigslist when he stumbled across a casting call for a new sports/talk/comedy show. And man, does it sound terrible (and not just because Joumana Kidd is hosting)....
USA Swimming's Monstrous Coaches And The "Culture of Sexual Misconduct"
An investigative report on last night's 20/20 presented startling stories of young swimmers sexually abused, secretly videotaped, and even impregnated by monstrous coaches. Has USA Swimming created a unique "culture of sexual misconduct," as ABC News would have you believe?...
With Obama, Even His First Pitch Skews Left
It's an opening day tradition unlike any other: making fun of the president for his horrible ceremonial first pitch....
ESPN's Syracuse Problem
First, we have President Obama going with someplace called "Sycasuse" in his ESPN bracket under the watchful eye of best friend Andy Katz and then we have "Syracsue" getting the #1 seed in the West. Adjust your brackets accordingly....
Acting! Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the poor unappreciated working stiffs who get paid unconscionable sums to play make believe for a living. It's about time they got some attention....
Slipping And Tripping In Warren Sapp's Hometown
You're familiar with Dark Side of the Locker Room. Consider this the THX Edition of Dark Side. Our storyteller is Padgett Powell, author of Edisto, The Interrogative Mood, and the following dispatch from Plymouth, Fla., which was spiked by ESPN....
Beat Writer Continues Nationals Coverage, Sans Newspaper
Just because the Washington Times fired their entire sports section, Mark Zuckerman isn't going to stop doing his job. For someone to cover the Nationals voluntarily, I'm not sure it's going too far to call him a modern day Jesus....
Even NBCOlympics.com Hates NBC's Olympic Coverage
Reader Alex sends this screenshot from NBC's Olympics web site. Please note the Olympic Pulse at bottom, featuring a tweet from alpine skier Jake Zamansky. NBC is now punching itself in the face. [NBCOlympics.com, @jakezamansky]...